The Seven Checkpoints

adapted from Andy Stanley's "The Seven Checkpoints"
Good morning and welcome to Meadowland. My name is John Barnett. I am the youth director here at Meadowland. Pastor Rich and his family are off on a much needed and well-deserved family vacation. This is their first vacation in at least 2 years. Building a church from scratch is a lot of work. Through a mutual friend, I met with Pastor Rich for the first time about a year and a half ago to talk about youth ministry. At the time, my wife, Saira and I lived in Chicago. A month after meeting Pastor Rich we moved out here and bought a home in this community.

There are 3 primary passions in my life. #1 is a desire for a deeper relationship with Christ. #2 is my wife and my son. #3 is working to provide teens an *opportunity to live life the way it was meant to be lived. #3 is the reason that I have been involved in youth ministry for the last ten years.

Now here we are on July 4th, Independence Day. How many of you actively think of “The Great American Dream”, Life Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness. People from all over the world still come to America in search of the American Dream. When you come to America you get LIFE. You get LIBERTY, but if you want HAPPINESS, then you have go and get it. So, what is happiness and how do we get it?

Typically we think that happy=laughing. So, I thought about what makes me laugh. I thought of the Six Flags guy and the Pepto-bismal commercial. But that’s not Real happiness. You know how it is, you’re laughing one minute, and then all of a sudden you’re angry or sad the next minute. You heard a funny joke, so you laugh. Then you get a call that a loved one has just passed away, and you cry like you’ve never cried before. You’re boss calls you into a meeting, and the HR person is sitting in there. You leave the meeting laid off. You go to the park with your kids, and you come home to find out that you were robbed. You give birth to a sweet innocent baby girl and fourteen years later you find out she’s pregnant. You stand by helplessly as your son or daughter tries to break a drug addiction. We were just laughing. What happened? Life happened.

John 10:10 – Jesus said, “I came that they might have life, and might have it abundantly”

We can only live an abundant life when we are living life the way it was meant to be lived.
Madlibs are great. You create a madlib by taking a story or statement that makes perfect sense and removing the nouns, adjectives, and verbs. Then you replace them with randomly gathered nouns adjectives and verbs.

The (adj)_______ (noun)_________ (verb pt)____________ over the (noun)________

This sentence should have read: The red fox jumped over the fence.

What goes (direction)_____ must come (direction)______.

This sentence should have read: What goes up must come down.

This is the approach that most people take to understanding life. The difference is we don’t say, "Give me a noun or a verb”. We say, “Why? What’s the reason for this?” We huddle up and come up with answers. Then we fill in the blanks and create our realities.

We have a saying, ”Perception is reality.” How can that be true. Reality is Reality. If we live our lives by the idea that perception is reality, then our lives are reduced to a perceived make-believe world that only exists in our minds.

The Grip (our youth ministry) has a tag line, “Where Real Life and Reality Meet.” That means where real life issues meet up with the reality of a relationship with a very real Jesus Christ.

True fulfillment in life comes only through a relationship with Jesus Christ. Outside of that, life is fleeting and hopeless. That doesn’t sound very happy to me.

God designed us. He knows best how we are going to be able to live a great life.
In our youth ministry we are going through something called The Seven Checkpoints. *The seven checkpoints are seven principles that every teenager needs to know. These principles are essential to the relational, emotional, and spiritual health of our teenagers. These very basic principles come straight out of the Bible.

They are:
Authentic Faith (Putting your trust in God)
Spiritual Disciplines (Seeing as God sees)
Moral Boundaries (Paving the way for Intimacy)
Healthy Friendships (Choosing friends for life)
Wise Choices (Walking wisely in a fool’s world)
Ultimate Authority (Finding freedom under God)
Other’s First (Considering others before yourself)

The first checkpoint is Authentic Faith. Am I trusting God with the critical areas of my life? Is my life perspective focused on the person of Jesus Christ or is it focused on the ever-changing circumstances around me. Bad things happen to good people. That’s life. That’s just the way it is. God has never promised us that life would not be difficult. However, He did say that He is the perfect Father who knows how to give good gifts to His children. He did say that He would never leave us, and that He causes all things to work together for good.
Proverbs 3:5-6 says.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding, but in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.

The second checkpoint is Spiritual Disciplines. Am I learning to see life the way that God sees it? When I really see life through God’s eyes, then I will understand and do what He’s telling me to do. He says, If you want a great life, then live life the way it was meant to be lived. Do what I’m saying. (Moms and Dads, I think you know what I’m talking about.) Why won’t Jimmy listen? Because he doesn’t see his world the way that you do. If he did, then you wouldn’t even be having the conversation. Our lives are so relationally disconnected. At one point in time, a parent looked at their kid with a pure unconditional love. They would do anything for that kid. Then 15 years later the kids back is covered in bruises, or they are so torn down emotionally that they will do anything and go anywhere for love and acceptance, because it obviously isn’t at home. Why not? Where did it go? What’s life like in your home? When was the last time you looked at your kid and said, “I am so proud of you.” Or “I love you, so much.” When was the last time that you snuck into your kid’s room just to watch them sleep. If we saw our kids the same way that God sees them, the way that God sees us, then can you imagine what our homes would look like. God loves you, even though… His eyes are full of compassion when He looks at you. He gave everything for you. He went through Hell for you. “While we were sinners, Christ died…for you.” Learn about it, read your Bible. If you don’t have one at home, then you do now. Take one of our blue ones as a gift. This is important. Pray to God that He would show you how to love your child or spouse. If you want joy and peace in the home, then learn to see as God sees.

The third checkpoint is Moral Boundaries. Am I establishing and maintaining godly moral boundaries? 1 Thessalonians says, “Abstain from sexual immorality” Get away from it. Have nothing to do with it. This gets to that question, “How far is too far.” God created sex and he created it to be a great thing when it’s done the way that He intended. Our teens are so confused about sex. A girl has sex, and then doesn’t understand why she feels cheap and used. Sexual purity paves the way to intimacy. Maximum purity = Maximum intimacy. The more of you that you give away before you are married, the less that you will have to offer your future spouse. Instead, sex has become a game (jelly bracelets – different colors mean different sexual acts.) They are giving themselves away. We have to have godly moral boundaries and then honor them. If you don’t set your boundaries, then someone else will. Parents you need to have this conversation with your children. Husbands you need to have this conversation with your wives, and wives with your husbands. So many lives are torn apart because of the absence of moral boundaries.

The fourth checkpoint is Healthy Friendships. For many of us the number one influence in our lives was mom and dad. That’s not the case for youth today. The number one influence today in the lives of our youth are their friends. In fact, friends are so influential that they will determine the direction and quality of our lives. As a parent, the question becomes, “Who is influencing my child?”
Proverbs 13:20 says that he who walks with the wise will become wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.
A wise person is someone who know the difference between right and wrong and chooses the right. A fool is someone who also knows the difference, but chooses the wrong despite the consequences. And if your kid is hanging out with that person, then they will suffer harm. It may be physical. It may be emotional. But it is guaranteed to happen sooner or later.
The second influence in the lives of our youth is the media (music is #1, dj’s, t.v. shows). What music does your kid listen to? If they play music, then what are they playing? What are the lyrics? Have you visited the websites? Do you know who is influencing your kids? I promise you that the musicians and djs that they are listening to have very strong opinions about life. Most media outlets communicate that sexual promiscuity is not only acceptable, but a necessity for relational fulfillment.

The third most powerful influence is you, the parents. Those of us in a position of spiritual leadership used to be the number 3 influence. Not anymore. Now, people like me are number 17 on the list. You still have an enormous amount of influence on your kids. Your kids are looking to you for leadership. They want security. Good for you if you are giving that to them. The conversations you have with them aren’t just one time deals. They need to be continual. Your life, what they see, has to back up what you are saying. What type of influence are you having?

The critical question is am I establishing healthy friendships? If my friends are going to have such a great impact on my life, then maybe I should make sure I invest in some good friendships. That’s one of the things that I appreciate about our youth ministry. Youth can come there, and be in a safe environment where they can make decisions about the direction of their life. In our REALationship groups, they can establish some good lasting relationships with other teens who will help them through the junk of life. When you hear about a REALationship group meeting, then you should be breaking speed limits to get your teen there. The other teens that are in that meeting have the potential of being the number one influencers in your teen’s life.

I have added a couple of book selections to the resource table. The blue book is for parents, and the orange book is for the teens. This is what we are discussing at The Grip. The books are available for you. I have a few left, so go back there and buy them up. These are tools to help you. If you have concern for the youth and their families in this community, then get behind this youth ministry. Get involved. Let’s talk.

So where does this pursuit of happiness really start? It all begins with having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. The Bible says, “For all have sinned, and fall short of the glory of God.” Then it says that the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ. Jesus said, I am the way, the truth, and the life. The Bible says believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved. You cannot face eternity with hope outside of a relationship with Jesus. God is the only one who has the power to save you, and make your paths straight. God is where true joy, peace and contentment begin. Pursue true happiness.