Mama Matters

There was a deep sunset setting over the horizon. It caused the sky to appear in all variations of amber and crimson mixed with a sharp golden glow from the setting sun. The sun was setting on the ambitious life and activities that had occupied the day, as people were preparing for their night-time traditions. At one house a van pulled into the driveway as the garage door opened. A woman and two small boys climbed out with their soccer balls and shin guards. She opened the door to the house to be greeted by their big dog. The man inside the house had already set the table and they all sat down to eat. While they were eating, another woman two miles down the road threw a baseball to a little boy with a glove. By now it was too dark to see, so they went inside their house. She pulls out some mac&cheese and boils some water. She looks at her left hand, and prays a silent prayer that someday the right man would come along. As the water boils, so does the rage buried deep in the heart of the man three doors down. In his house, a woman cradles her own body as tears poor down her face. There are three children who sit at the table waiting for their food. They don’t appear shocked or upset. They’ve seen it plenty of times before, and by now it’s just a way of life for them. On the other side of town in a two bedroom apartment a man tucks a little girl into her bed. He leaves her room and picks up a picture of a woman, and quietly asks the Lord, “Why did you have to take her?” He closes his eyes and falls asleep. While he sleeps, a young man and young woman speed through the dimly lit streets of their town. Shortly after arriving at the hospital, the young woman prepares to give birth to a tiny little baby. As the young man walks the halls of the hospital waiting for the doctors to call him in to the room, he looks through a small window where he sees another young woman and young man holding the tiny hand of their baby that lies behind the glass of an incubator. His anxiety builds. He hears the cry of a newborn baby as he walks by another door on the floor. Finally, the nurse comes to get him, and says, “It’s time.” He sits next to his wife, watching her eyes and her lips, and gently strokes her hair. Her eyes are wet, and her lips are dry. Then the doctor removes the baby. The couple waits anxiously for the cry, and then there it is. It’s the sound of life. At this moment, nothing else seems to matter. The anxiety has fled. The young man looks at the young woman, and realizes that he is now married to someone different. He is married to a mother.

Good morning and Happy Mother’s Day. My name is John Barnett. I’m excited to be here this morning with you. I got an e-mail from my dad requesting that I come and speak here on Mother’s day. I said ok, and then I silently panicked. I’ve never spoken on a Mother’s Day before and I didn’t know where to begin. I thought that I should begin to ask around. I thought I would go directly to the source. I needed information from someone who has been a mother for many years. I began to make up a list in my head, and then I made phone call number one. No answer. Then I made phone call number two. This woman has six children. Most of them are grown already. I knew that she must have heard at least 25 Mother’s Day messages and would be able to point me in the right direction. Do you know what her answer was? “You know, John. Now that I’m thinking about it. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a Mother’s Day message. Because I always had so many kids in the nursery, I felt obligated to help.” I felt lost. I was in the Mother’s Day message labyrinth. Then it came to me. Talk to someone who has been where you are. So I called a friend of mine, who is a pastor in Chicago. He’s been a pastor for several years in churches that have mothers. So I called him up convinced that this was the phone call. This is the call that would extract me from this Mother’s Day minefield that I had found myself in. His answer, “You know, John. After many years of Mother’s Day messages, I’ve come to this conclusion. I try to be in the middle of a sermon series, and I just keep on going. We acknowledge mothers and give them flowers, but I just keep on going.” So then, I knew what I had to do. Get some more opinions. So here they are – Go through a study on all the mothers in the Bible (I thought that if I do that, I’m just robbing some Women’s retreat of great material); Nail the men (I thought, “No, they’ll get that on Father’s Day”). Then I had lunch with a friend of mine, and I asked her, “What are you doing for Mother’s Day?” She replied, “The same thing I do every Mother’s Day. I’ll get out of my house and go visit my mom.” Then she said something that hurt my heart, “I can go visit my mom anytime, but I choose to go on Mother’s Day, because it’s the worst day of my life if I stay home. My husband uses Mother’s Day to tell me what a bad mother I am.” She is one of the most caring and giving moms that I have ever met in my life. She is outstanding. Then, I knew what today had to be about. It had to be about you. I don’t know many of you on a personal level. I don’t know what mom you associated yourself with in the introductory story. I do know this, though. I know that God loves you just the way you are. I know that He knew you when He knit you together in your mother’s womb. If you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, then I know that He has promised never to leave you, and never to forsake you. I know that He will remain faithful to you even when you are unfaithful to Him. I know that nothing can separate you from His love. I know that Jesus Christ died and rose again for you. If you are a mother in this room, then I would like you to stand up where you are. If you are too embarrassed to do that, then you can stay seated. These are women who have brought life into this world. These are the women who don’t forget birthdays, and spend money and time on 1st and 2nd birthday parties that their children will never remember outside of pictures. These are the women who just by being a mom are also just about every other occupation that exists. We applaud you. You may be seated.

I remember when our son, Max, was born. He was breech and so he was coming out C-section. Saira, my wife, had been through some surgery before so she was prepared. The C-Section process was done and over in a matter of minutes. In a matter of minutes after I made sure that Max was all good (a little funky looking, but all good) nurses were giving me smelling salts to keep me from passing out, and then I lost all of my breakfast all over the floor. I continued to lose my breakfast and anything else I had inside me for the next six hours. Saira had a little bit of an itch from the spinal, but other than that, she was in great shape. I remember watching Saira interact with Max. Max, funny shaped head included, was so loved by his mom. I remember looking at Saira’s eyes in the operating room. They were filled with anticipation. It was really unfair that I got to be the first to see him. Saira is an amazing mother. She spends all day with her little boy. Often times when we talk on the phone during the day, I’ll hear Max in the background and so I’ll ask, “What are you guys doing?” “We’re playing.” I hear that, and I think, “Wow, now that takes a lot of patience and love to be able to play that much with a little boy.” Nine times out of ten whenever I think I’m seeing Max do something new, it’s old news to Saira. I love my wife, but there is an entirely different appreciation for her as a mother. I’m excited to see what Saira will be like when baby number two comes out to play. I look forward to it. We are a month away from being married for 10 years, and the last 2 years have been wonderful for me, because I am able to sit back and witness Saira’s momness. In my opinion, she’s got this mom thing down.

My family moved to a new city when I was going into 7th grade. My mom took my brother and me to meet the school counselor. I can remember in the conversation, the subject of community showers came up, and my mom said, “Is it ok if my boys wear their swimsuits in the shower?” I wanted to crawl under a chair. Then the school year started. My mom made us wear collared shirts and slacks to school. We confronted her on that a few years ago. We decided to let her off the hook on that one. She assumed that kids still dressed up to go to school. That’s only true if you are very confident or you want to be picked on by the kids who know that kids don’t dress up to go to school. My mom did feel bad.

I was never afraid of my mom growing up. I was afraid of my mom saying, “Go up to your room, and wait ‘till your father gets home.” That was never a good thing. I can’t remember a time when I ever talked back to my dad – my dad may remember a time or two. However, I know I did my fair share of arguing with my mom. I remember walking through the door after school, and my mom asked me a question about something, and she didn’t like the answer. She began to correct me. The conversation had ended, and I would turn to go upstairs to my room, and my mom would say, “Now don’t be mad about this.” I would say, “I’m not”. She would say, “Yes you are. I can see it.”
- Mom, I’m not mad. I’m just going upstairs.
- Yes you are mad
- No I’m not
- John, yes you are and the only person you should be mad at is yourself.
- But I am not mad
- Yes you are
- Well I am now.
- Now go up to your room, and wait till your father gets home.

I love my mom. I can remember a conversation that she and I had about 5 years ago. I was going through a time that was filled with anxiety. Ironically, I don’t remember what it was even about, but I do remember that my mom gave me the advice and counsel that I needed. She told me that I had to let go. I had to be willing to simply trust in God for the outcome. I kept coming back with excuses, and she just kept telling me the same thing. I hung up the phone and sat down on my bed, and I was angry. She had asked what was going on, and so I told her. I didn’t want all of this advice. Besides, I already know all of that stuff. Then I let go, and chose to be willing to trust God for the outcome. My mom was right.

The Bible says that if you are mom, then you are to be honored
You are to be honored through the WISE CHOICES and OBEDIENCE of your children.

I would like to direct this next portion to everyone in this room who have moms.

As sons and daughters, the decisions that we make will either bring honor to our moms or they will bring grief.

The Bible frequently contrasts two types of people – The Wise and The Fool
I would like you to respond to this question to yourself. Maybe even write down the answer that you think is true. Are you the wise or are you the fool?

Now let me define the difference between the Wise and the Fool

The Wise is someone who knows what is right and wrong and chooses the RIGHT
The Fool is someone who knows what is right and wrong and chooses the WRONG regardless of the consequences.

Are you the wise or are you the fool?
Proverbs 10:1
A wise son brings joy to his father, but a foolish son brings grief to his mother.
Proverbs 15:20
A wise son brings joy to his father, but a foolish man despises his mother.

Proverbs 13:20
“He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.”

The Bible is interesting here, because not only is God saying, “Don’t be a fool.” He’s saying don’t even hang out with fools. If you do, then you will suffer harm.

The irony of this situation – As you are sitting here listening to this, most of you have it in your minds that you are the wise one. I would expect you to think that way. Why? No one wants to be called a fool. But it’s not whether you want to be a fool or not that makes you a fool. It’s the choices that you make.

Proverbs 1:8 gives you some of the guidance that you need to be able to make those right choices. It says …do not forsake your mother’s teaching.

A well-known verse in Ephesians 6:1,2 gives it to you straight.
Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
Honor your father and mother – which is the first commandment with a promise.

Your mom deserves to be honored by you. The way that you honor your mom is by making wise choices and by being obedient to her. If you want to make this a good Mother’s Day for your mom, then that’s all you have to do. Honor her by making wise choices and being obedient. If you don’t know what the wise choice is, then do what Proverbs 13:20 says: Walk with the wise. Find someone who does make wise choices, and become their friend.

I’ve been involved in youth ministry for over 10 years now. Being involved in youth ministry, I have had several conversations with moms. I want to tell you three things that I have learned about moms 1) Your mom loves you. She always has, and she always will. 2) probably the most important for you to understand Your mom is not in your way. She’s not in your way of having fun. She’s not in your way of being successful. She’s not in your way of living your life. She will not sit up tonight wondering how she can make your life miserable tomorrow. More than likely, if she’s sitting up at night. She may be wondering, How can I talk to my child about the relationship they are having with their girlfriend or boyfriend? How do I confront my child with the joint that I found in the garbage? How do I tell my child that their dad is leaving us? How do I tell my child that our family is moving to another state, and they will have to make new friends? How do I talk to my child? How do I talk to my little baby that’s all grown up, and not have them hate me or reject me? What do I need to do to let my child know that I am on their side? Your mom is not in your way. 3) Your mom would still wipe a boogey off your face. That’s right; that’s gross. I certainly wouldn’t wipe the boogey off your face. I might not even tell you it’s there, but your mom would. This is a special day for your mom. Make it a special day for her. Then let that spill over into tomorrow and maybe even the day after that.