I want to tell you 3 different stories:
Tim and Angela
Freddie and his dad
Tea and her mom
Tim and Angela knew eachother since 3rd grade. They used to play paintball together. Angela even taught Tim how to ride his skateboard. Now they were in highschool and for some reason things were different. Angela didn’t want to go and play paintball anymore. Her skateboard was collecting dust in the garage. Instead, Angela found herself wanting to hang out with a couple of other friends. They would go shopping and have sleepovers. Tim was upset. What happened to his friend? In anger, Tim walked up to Angela in front of her new friends and began to make rude comments about her weight and then he mumbled something about how she was no longer worthy to be his friend.
Freddie was on the wrestling team at school. It was his first year. He thought he would try it out. He was a little bit awkward on his feet, and he hadn’t really mastered any of the moves. It was his first wrestling meet, and he was understandably nervous. He was excited that his dad was going to be there. Seeing his dad in the stands helped his nerves settle down a little bit. Then it happened. He was pinned in 5 seconds. He didn’t right and ended up with a broken wrist. Wrestling was over before it had begun. Freddie’s dad waited for him in the emergency room. Freddie came out with his cast on and they walked to the car. When they were in the car, the unexpected happened. His dad slammed his door shut and glared at Freddie. Then he began to tell him, “I can’t believe I wasted $200 on you to let you wrestle this year. I should have known you wouldn’t be able to do it. Not only that, I just wasted my night in the emergency room. I had yard work that needed to get done. Freddie tried to speak. His Dad said, “I’m not interested. Don’t talk. You’ll probably just whine about your arm. I can’t believe that you are my son.”
Tea’s mom was the best cook in the world. 4 weeks ago, she had made some bread in their breadmaker. Mom’s homemade bread was the best. Unfortunately, her mom wasn’t the cleanest person in the world. The bread from 4 weeks ago was still in the fridge. Tea opened the fridge, and saw the bread. At first she was so excited. She pulled it out and unwrapped it. Then she saw the green and gray clumps that were forming on the crust. She looked at the bread, and knew that she had to make a decision. Would she eat it or throw in away…? TO BE CONTINUED
READ – James 3:2-5,7-12
How many of you have ever played horse before (with your dad or older brother).
How strong is a horse?
Strong enough to pull a wagon.
Strong enough to carry a man for miles.
How tall is a horse?
How many of you have ever ridden a horse before? How do tell the horse which direction to go.
I was afraid of horses for a while. When I was in 3rd or 4th grade, my brother and I got on a horse together. He sat in the saddle, and I sat on top of the horses butt. The wrangler began to walk us around in a circle. My brother got caught up in the moment. He yelled at the top of his lungs, “YeeHaw”. The horse reared up on its hind legs, and I fell off the back. The horse had been startled. I was laying on the ground while the horse’s hoofs were moving out of control. The horse hoof came down on the inside of my thigh ripping my pants and cutting my leg.
Do you know what the wrangler did through all of this? He stayed clear of the horse, but he had hand on something. It was the reigns. He pulled down on the reigns and slowly calmed the horse down until the horse was under his control.
What is the most powerful part of a ship? The rudder. It’s a very small piece of wood or metal compared to the rest of the ship, but it is able to change the direction of the ship. The same is true of your car. A car is very heavy, and the steering wheel is not, but I can make my car turn any way I want with very little effort.
James uses analogies like this to get a very specific point across. The tongue (what you say) is the most deadly instrument known to man. Not because it is wet, and no one likes to be spit on. But because it speaks. Words have the ability to lift up and to tear down. You have the ability to tear people down simply by saying something to them.
The last question that was in your group was how do you know what you should say to someone? James chapter 1 says, “that if any of you lacks wisdom; let him ask of God”
James 3:16-18:
What is at the heart of what you want to say? Are you going to say something hurtful to someone, because you were hurt? Why? What is your motive? What is your reason? Are you mad at your friend, because they are having more fun than you? Are you going to cut them down because of it, and tell that they obviously don’t care about you? Why? What is your motive? What is your reason?
If your motive is jealousy or selfish in anyway, then don’t say it. Maybe what you have to say is necessary. Why? What are you hoping to accomplish? If it is this….(verse 17), then say it, but say it in peace…(verse 18).
Bambi and Thumper… “if you can’t say something nice; don’t say nothing at all”
This is so important here at the Grip. Don’t be a jerk. The reason people cut others down, is typically because of some kind of insecurity that they have. They have to try and lift themselves up at the expense of others. Who wants to be in a place where people are always cutting them down? I sure don’t.
The Grip is a place where you can be. It’s not a place to come and be judged by others, and it’s not a place to come and judge others. That’s not what we’re about.
Getting control of what you say starts with a relationship with Jesus Christ. Then it takes submitting to His leadership in your life. He wants to help you have a good life, but you have to be willing to allow Him to lead you into that life.
The Word of God, the Bible is profitable for teaching and for instruction in righteousness. God has laid out good things for you to do for others and for Him, but you have to be willing ask Him for help.
If you don’t have a relationship with Christ, then I’ll tell you that you have to start it.
If you do have a relationship with Christ, then I’ll tell you that you have to get serious about it. Without His leadership in your life, your life will never be the life that it could be.
We are all on a Spiritual Journey, because we were created in God’s image. We have to take steps on that Journey….
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Breakout Session Guide B.S.L. stands for Breakout Session Leader -
What’s the nicest thing that anyone has ever said to you? How did it make you feel?
BSL – Give the teens permission to ‘brag’. Be sure to follow up their comments with
affirmation or encouragement supporting what was said about them. Demonstrate what
it means to be genuinely ‘nice’ to someone.
What’s the meanest thing that anyone has ever said to you (no profanity)? How did it make you feel?
BSL – This is an opportunity to share something from your own personal life. Be willing
to be vulnerable, and talk about your real feelings. Another question to ask the group
after someone has shared is, “How does it make you feel to hear that?”
Do you think that the things we say to people and the way we say them matter? Why or why not?
BSL – Reference some of the stories that are shared in question 2
How do you know what to say to someone so that you don’t hurt them?
BSL – KEY WORDS (MOTIVE & OBJECTIVE)
James 3:16-18 For where jealousy and selfishness exist, there is disorder and
every evil thing…But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle,
reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. And the seed
whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.
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