Checkpoint #3 – Moral Boundaries
Principle – Purity paves the way to Intimacy
Critical Question – Are you establishing and maintaining godly moral boundaries?
Key passage – 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8
It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you His Holy Spirit.
1 Corinthians 6:18
Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.
Genesis 2:21-24
So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, for she was taken out of man.” For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
Proverbs 28:26
He who trusts himself is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom is kept safe
Ephesians 5:15
Be very careful, then, how you live, not as unwise but as wise
Matthew 7:24-27
Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.
Proverbs 4:23
Put away perversity from your mouth; keep corrupt talk far from your lips
Psalm 119:9-10
How shall a young man keep his way pure? By living according to Your word. I seek You with all of my heart do not let me stray from Your commands.
Sarah and Gretchen were supposed to go to the movies last night, and Gretchen had promised her that she would go with her when she had finished her homework. Gretchen finished up her geometry and was on the way out the door, when her mom stopped her to ask her about the school dance that was coming up in two weeks. Gretchen had told Mike that she would go with him to the school dance. (Enter Mike – Mike was the most popular guy in school. He had it all together; fast car, nice hair, perfect tan, proportionately muscular). Most of the girls at school were hoping that he would ask them out. Unfortunately for the other girls, Mike didn’t. He asked Gretchen. The problem was that her mom had never met Mike or his parents, and that was a big ‘no-no’. So the conversation went like this:
MOM: Are you going with Billy to the dance? I like Billy. He’s a good boy. You should bring him around more often.
GRETCHEN: No. I’m not going with Billy. I’m going with Mike.
MOM: Wait a minute. Who’s Mike? I don’t think I know Mike? Have I ever met Mike?
GRETCHEN: No. You haven’t, but you can trust me. He’s a “good boy”, too. He asked me last week, and I couldn’t say no. He’s the hottest guy in school. Besides, it’s not like we’re getting married or anything. We’re just going to a stupid dance. What’s the big deal?
MOM: The big deal is that you and I had an agreement. You wouldn’t go out with any guys unless I have met him and his parents. That’s important to me.
GRETCHEN: So I guess my life and what I want doesn’t count then does it? Why do you have to make my life so difficult? I’m going to the dance with Mike whether you like it or not.
MOM: No you aren’t. If that’s your attitude, then you’re not going at all. You can stay home, and if Mike still wants to be with you, then he can come over here for dinner. I will not tolerate that tone of voice, either. It’s disrespectful and inappropriate. So, you can call your friend, Sarah, and let her know that she will be on her own tonight.
Gretchen looked at her mom, and thought to herself, “I hate you.”
How many of you have ever had a situation like that in your house? How many of you have ever thought something like that about your mom or dad?
It had been raining for hours, and my brother and I were working with my grandfather one summer in Florida. We were laying grass around a pond on his property. One section of grass weighs about 5lbs. I loaded my wheelbarrow up to the point that my wheel went flat. I picked up the handles and began to push the wheelbarrow around the pond through the mud. I got about 50ft, and I was in pain. I had messed up my back (14 yrs old and I had a bad back already). I spent the rest of the summer laying on my back with hot pads and soaking in the bathtub. Meanwhile, my brother continued working for my grandpa throughout the rest of the summer. When we got back to my home in Michigan, my grandpa paid us for the work that we had done. He gave my brother $1000 and he gave me $500. I took it and said, “Thanks”, but inside I was a little ball of rage just waiting to explode. I got up to my room as fast as I could, and I let loose (quietly). I can tell you that loosing it quietly looks ridiculous. Loosing it loudly looks equally ridiculous. I was so mad that tears were coming down my face. It wasn’t fair. You’re my grandpa, how can you give him twice as much as me? In that moment, I hated him for it.
I don’t think that he ever knew about it, but I sure did. Guess who else did? God did. God saw everything that I was doing “quietly”. He heard every thought that I was thinking.
Our thoughts are so hugely important to God. What you think about is just as important as what you actually say and do. We fantasize about different things. We create alternate realities that we can escape to when real life feels like it’s getting too tough.
Psalm 94:11 says “The Lord knows the thoughts of man”
Matthew 15:17-20
Do you not understand that everything that goes into the mouth passes into the stomach and is eliminated?
But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and those defile the man.
For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, sexual impurity, thefts, lies, slanders.
These are the things that defile the man.
Last year when we talked about having moral boundaries, we focused on your relationships with the opposite sex. What are you going to do when he or she wants a kiss, how about when they want a little bit more? How about when you want a little bit more? Have you established boundaries to help you remain pure? That was mainly focused on staying pure physically. These next few weeks we are going to discover what it means to establish moral boundaries in your thought life. We’ll talk about that secret place in your head that no one else knows about, only you and God. Sometimes we think about things and dwell on things that mess up our mind so bad. I think that this is going to be an extremely important discussion for you to be a part of. You never know what you might take away. It may just change your life.
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Breakout Session Guide -
Have you ever experienced “hate” thoughts toward anybody? What was the situation that led up to that?
Have you ever done anything wrong that noone else knew about, only you? What could have the consequences have been? Is it possible that anyone was hurt by what you did? Are our thoughts that no one knows about have the ability to cause damage even if no one knows about them?
Bad thoughts towards others act as a barrier to a relationship with that other person. They also cause stress for you. Not to mention that we are told to ‘love others’.
What are some ‘secret thoughts’ that teens have that may not be considered good thoughts?
What does your thought life have to do with moral boundaries?
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