Relationships (Part 1)

Over the next few weeks we are going to be talking about a very important topic. If you really engage yourself in what we are talking about, then you will get a lot out of it. Even more importantly, is the decisions that you make as a result of this series of discussions.

Any guesses?

We are going to be talking about relationships. Everybody has them. The relationships that you have are the #1 influencer in your life. They will greatly impact the decisions that you make that will effect the rest of your life. You cannot underestimate the importance of relationships.

But first, let’s try this out.

I’m going to call out a body part and a number. As soon as I call it out, clump together.
Example – elbow 3
Find 2 other people and touch your elbows together.
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When you hear me say the ‘relationship’ what is the first thing that pops into your head?
Students answer

What are some of the different relationships that you have in your life?
Students answer

Answer these to yourselves:
What is the most important relationship that you have? (There isn’t some spiritual twist on this question at all. I just want to know what relationship is the most important to you.)
What makes that relationship so important? What is it about that relationship that causes it to stand out from the rest of your relationships?

I am intentionally not using the word friendship. Friendship automatically assumes a closeness. Relationships don’t require closeness. Relationships are formed because you share something in common. You have a relationship with someone who you relate with.

‘Elbows 3’

Life is like this. You get thrown into different situations with different people.

‘Heads 4’

You never know where you are going to end up or who you are going to end up with.

‘Toes 2’

When we are talking about relationships, there are 2 questions for you to answer –
1) Who do I have a relationship with?
2) What type of relationship do I have with them?

What relationship that you have in your life will most likely affect your life the most?
Students answer

Your parents will most likely affect who you are when you are older more than anyone else you know. (Dad has a temper, guess who else has a temper.)

The friends that you hang out with every week, (If you are truly close) will have the 2nd greatest impact on your life. (If your friends Sam, Billy, Matt, and Julie are smoking pot, then guess who else probably is or is trying really hard not to.)

The relationships that you develop now are crucial to who are, the struggles you have, the support you have in the future.
Let me tell you about Billy:

Billy was 14 years old. Billy had a problem. He didn’t know it though. He would go to school and no one would stand with him when they were waiting for the bell to ring. No one would sit with him during lunch. The bus driver made him walk home.

The problem was that Billy had been wearing the same pair of underwear for 3 months. They were his favorite pair. He thought they were so comfortable. The material was so soft except for the real crusty middle.

Billy had become immune to the smell. He was used to it. Apparently no one else was though. Billy couldn’t take any more of the rejection that he was getting in school so he went to his mom and through his tears he asked, “Mom, why doesn’t anyone like me? No one talks to me in school. I don’t have any friends. I don’t understand.”

His mom looked at him and said, “Billy, I think that you need to (students fill in the blank).”

We all need to change sometimes don’t we. We recognize that something isn’t right, and we make the change. We can choose to keep things the way they are even though we know that a change needs to take place or we can make the change. The choice is completely up to you.

I hope that as we go through this series on relationships that you will be taking inventory of the relationships that you have and how healthy they are.
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Breakout Session Guide D.L. stand for Discussion Leader -
Let’s go around the group, tell me a relationship that you have in your life. No repeats.
D.L. notes: This is just a one word answer question. This can be any relationship.
Mother, Father, Sister, Brother, Boyfriend, Girlfriend, family dog, Best friend, etc…

Who do you feel the closest to, and why?
D.L. notes: Don’t be tempted to respond with, “Why not this relationship…?” The
focus here is on what is important to them. What is it about that relationship that helps
them to feel close or connected with that person.

Who do you think has the greatest impact on the decisions that you make?
D.L. notes: Again don’t be tempted to ask a ‘why not’ question.

If you had to give someone advice on their relationship with their parents; what would it be? their relationship with their girlfriend or boyfriend; their relationship with their friends?
D.L. notes: Rephrase of the question – If a friend came to you for advice on how to have
a successful relationship with their parents…what would you tell them?