I'm not bald, but my brother is

The Good Life: Keepin' it Real (Authentic Faith)

2007-07-08T14:11:00.000-07:00

Three men sat silently on a park bench. They had worked together for 9 years. The first man looked at the others, and said “I can’t believe that they did that. No warning. How am I supposed to support my family now?” The second said, “I hear you… I don’t get it. I thought that we’d be there for another 10 years at least. I’ve poured my sweat and sacrificed time so that our company would succeed. Looking back, I don’t know why I did it. Clearly it wasn’t valued.” The third said nothing. Instead, he leaned back, stretched his arms across the back of the bench, crossed his left leg over his right, allowed his head to fall backwards, and took in a long relaxing breath. After a few more moments of silence, he spoke. “I’ve got a God who loves me unconditionally*, I’ve been learning to see this world the way that He sees it*, I’ve got a wife who I am fully committed to*, I’ve got good friends who speak the truth*, I’ve been learning to make wise choices*, I genuinely care about other people*, and the same God who loves me unconditionally is in control*. So I guess what I’m saying is that I’ve got a good life despite this.

Good morning. My name is John Barnett. I want to thank you for allowing me to come and be with you for the next 4 weeks to talk to you about the good life. This 4 part series will touch on 7 different principles for living the good life. These principles are called, The Seven Checkpoints, as titled by the book written by Andy Stanley and Stuart Hall. As a youth pastor, these principles have been invaluable to me while working with both teens and their parents. As a believer in Christ, understanding and applying these principles to my own life has significantly challenged the way that I think and even act. Romans 12:1 instructs us to not be conformed to the patterns of this world, but to be transformed through the renewing of our minds. Often times, God’s perspective on life is in direct contradiction to the logic and philosophy of this world’s system. God says, “Change your mind”. Our minds need to be transformed from the patterns or thinking of this world, and transformed to His perspective. When I see the world the way that God, the Maker, sees the world, then I will do what He says to do. It will impact my life, and the lives of those around me.

Jesus words are recorded in John 10:10: I have come that you might have life, and that you might have it abundantly. My paraphrase is simple – “I have come that you might have a good life.”

I want to be careful to not be misunderstood. Jesus is not talking about a life of health, wealth and stability. Typically, our definition of the good life would naturally include those things. However, God is not natural. He’s supernatural. His definition of the good life is a bit different. When we look at people who have what we would consider ‘the good life’ they have comfortable living situations and disposable income. Perhaps there’s more to their story than what you see. Perhaps while they have what appears to be a good life, their hearts are wandering from one baseless hope to the next looking for the answer that will complete them.

The good life is far more meaningful and rewarding than any amount of money or security could offer. The good life is a life lived the way that it was intended to be lived. God, the Maker, created us with purpose. When we live our lives the way that we were made to live, the way that it was intended; we experience the good life. (4 ½ minutes)

The first message in this series is titled, The Good Life: Keepin’ it Real. Today we will examine the first principle, Authentic Faith.

*Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.

Little Jimmy was laying about on a hill in the middle of a meadow on a warm spring day. Puffy white clouds rolled by and he pondered their shape. Soon, he began to think about God.
"God? Are you really there?" Jimmy said out loud.
To his astonishment a voice came from the clouds. "Yes, Jimmy. What can I do for you?"
Seizing the opportunity, Jimmy asked, "God? What is a million years like to you?"
Knowing that Jimmy could not understand the concept of infinity, God responded in a manner to which Jimmy could relate. "A million years to me, Jimmy, is like a minute."
"Oh," said Jimmy. "Well, then, what's a million dollars like to you?"
"A million dollars to me, Jimmy, is like a penny."
"Wow!" remarked Jimmy, getting an idea. "You're so generous...can I have one of your pennies?"
God replied, "Sure thing, Jimmy! Just a minute."

A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100. When the Post Office received the letter addressed to God, they decided to send it to the president. The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill. The President thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.
The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 and sat down to write a thank you note to God, which read:
Dear God,
Thank you very much for sending the money, however, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington D.C. and, as usual, those crooks deducted $95.00.

I like these jokes, because they give a glimpse into what the faith of a child might look like. God just is. He doesn’t need any detailed theological discertation to prove His existence or His intentions. The word that seems to best describe a child’s faith is trust.

I don’t know that there is such a thing as different levels of trust. Either you trust or you don’t.

An authentic Faith knows that God can be trusted. He will do all He has promised to do. That’s the principle. God can be trusted; He will do all He has promised to do.
The critical question is Am I trusting God with the critical areas of my life?
Faith Abandoned
The 2 primary reasons that people abandon their faith or experience the shattering of their faith are poor choices and unexplained tragedy. Let me explain poor choices. A person who has placed their faith in Christ is not immune to sin. Sin is still very much a reality. Let’s talk about slander. That Bible says very clearly that it is wrong to slander another person. If I slander someone; I am making a conscious choice to sin. Because I believe that the Bible is truly God’s word, and that God is the ultimate authority, and that as the ultimate authority, God says it’s wrong. There will be a point of conviction that will no doubt be accompanied by some amount of guilt. I will make a decision at that point of conviction. I will either admit that I was wrong or I will alter my worldview to accommodate my sin, and remove my guilt. If I don’t believe that what the Bible says is accurate anymore, then I will cease to feel guilty in that area.

The second situation is unexplained tragedy. Please watch this video with me…

I don’t show that video to emotionally coerce you into acceptance, but rather to get your heart’s attention. The Mooney family had an authentic faith in God. This video is presented as a testimony to the reality of a humble and submissive heart that has jumped into a trusting relationship with God and has experienced the mercy and grace required at a moment of unbelievable suffering.

When we experience unexplained tragedy in our personal lives or are exposed to the tragedy of those around us, a fragile faith will find us at a critical crossroad. Is God really who He says He is, and will He really do all that He has promised to do?

In both situations, we are saying “What’s happening now. What I’m feeling now. Determines what I believe for now.” It may be described as a bandwagon faith.

‘As long as my faith is grounded in what I see and experience, my faith will always be fragile. It will never be more than circumstantial faith – totally dependent upon my ability (or inability) to interpret the events and circumstances around me.’

That doesn’t sound like the direction in Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.

Faith Understood (Authentic faith is not a force, power, or wishful thinking)
The difficulty with authentic faith is that it takes me out of the driver’s seat of my own life. I’m not comfortable with that. I want (no I need) to be in control of my life. Unfortunately, it is impossible for me to control everything in my life. I can’t control tragedy. I cannot control whether or not I’m going to get a raise. I can’t control how much the raise will be. I won’t be able to stop my children from making foolish choices as they grow. There are elements of my life that I will never be in control of. I can significantly influence them, but I cannot control them. I want to have as much control of the outcome as I possibly can, because I think I know what is best for my life. So now, I want to control God. I have a connection to a very powerful force, and maybe I can get Him to do my bidding. So I try to find a gimmick in a time of desperation (God if you do this, then I’ll do that). We try and cut a deal. Authentic faith is not a force or a power. It is not a tool that we use to get something from God. Authentic faith is not just wishful thinking either. Wishful thinking describes our wants and desires, but there are no guarantees.

Hebrews 11:1 says that Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.

It is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we don’t see. There is a difference between wishful thinking and authentic faith. Wishful thinking is absent a promise. Faith is rooted in a promise. Authentic Faith is rooted in the absolute promises and unchanging character of God.

Read from the book: pg 35:
In Hebrews 11, the author gives dozens of illustrations of people who showed authentic biblical faith. In every case that faith was grounded in a promise or a revelation from God. Noah spent 140 years building an ark because God promised that it was going to rain. Abraham left his home and set out without a destination in mind because God promised to lead him to a new home. Gideon charged in an enemy camp totally outnumbered because God promised victory. Moses went back to Egypt and confronted Pharaoh because God promised to deliver Israel through him. Joshua marched around Jericho until the walls fell down because God promised success.

While we consciously relinquish control, biblical faith puts God firmly in control of our lives. It leaves God with the option to say no. Only when we come to terms with the true nature of faith will we be able to surrender our will to God’s will. As long as we are trying to get something FROM God, we will have a difficult time surrendering our lives TO God.

The true nature of faith is trusting God with all of my heart, with all of me. I can do that because I know that God is safe. God is a safe place for me. I can completely trust Him to take care of me. I can trust that when tragedy strikes, He is still in control. In Matthew 7:11 Gods says, look at this way – If you, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, then how much more will your Father in Heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him. God can be trusted. He will do all that He has promised.

Authentic Faith requires the active surrender of our lives and wills to the care and commitment of a holy, just and deserving God.

Faith Promises (Authentic Faith holds to God’s mercy and grace)
If we live our lives with the expectation that no ill will befall us, then we will be disappointed. That is a faulty expectation. There is a difference between God’s promises and our expectations. While God doesn’t promise us a hurt free life, He does promise us that we will receive mercy and grace from Him.
Hebrews 4:14-16
Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. 15For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. 16Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

You and I can have full confidence that God will always give us the 2 things that are most critical in our time of need: Mercy and Grace.

While God has not promised to deliver us from our circumstances; He has promised to deliver us through them.

The necessity of Authentic Faith is primarily focused on your and my ability to successfully navigate life. The grounding of our faith plays a significant role in our determining whether or not we will be obedient to God’s direction. Will we follow or say no. If I authentically trust God, then I will follow. If my thinking is faulty, then I will allow it to be corrected. An authentic faith in Jesus Christ will result in our willingness to obey. An authentic faith will also get us through those difficult times (whether they are explainable or not). An authentic faith in the all-powerful, ever-present, all-knowing creator who describes Himself as and proves Himself to be the perfect Father who knows how to give good gifts to His children will weather the storm. An Authentic Faith is a faith that wholly trusts, and is grounded in truth. It does not put false expectations on God. An Authentic Faith is the foundation of these seven checkpoints. Without it, the others will never be.

If I trust in the Lord with all of my heart (complete trust = complete obedience), and don’t lean on my own understanding, but in all of my ways acknowledge Him, then He WILL make my paths straight.

Am I trusting God with the critical areas in my life?

In response to my trust, God will make my paths, my direction, clear and obvious. I can count on it.

The Intentional Life

2007-04-22T02:57:00.000-07:00

The Intentional Life
Three bicycles were seen riding through the local park. It was clear that 2 of the bicycles belonged to the same family. The third appeared to be riding alone. The first bicycle was equipped with a set of training wheels. An observer could tell that they had been attached to the bike for some time, because of the wobbly way they trailed along with the bike. The second bike was traveling at a very leisurely rate, no doubt INTENT on keeping pace with the smaller bike. The second bike was a bit odd though, because it had 2 sets of pedals, 2 seats, and 2 handlebars. The third bike was entirely different. The rider was dressed in tight, patterned and brightly colored clothes. He was wearing an aerodynamic helmet, and leather gloves. This rider was not out for a gentle glide through the park. He hollered out, “On your left” as he blew right by the couple on the 2 seater. The couple on the 2 seater was a bit annoyed, and called out, “Where’s the fire?” as they shook their heads and rolled their eyes. There was no fire, and ironically the man on the speeding bike wasn’t even trying to get somewhere quickly. He was training for a triathlon he had entered on a dare, and was INTENT on winning or at the very least being beat because someone else was faster and not because he held back. He had no INTENTION of leaving room for regret.

*Living with Intention.

Good morning, and welcome to Woodstock Bible Church. My name is John Barnett. My dad invited me to come and close out the series that you, as a church, have been going through over the past several weeks.
I’ve listened to the “Here’s How” series so far, and coming from someone who has worked directly with youth for 12 years, I thought he did a pretty decent job of getting in touch with his inner teenager as he developed this series. When we were over at the house for Easter, I think that I saw a pimple forming on his nose.

This series set out to communicate how to follow Jesus Christ today. There are seven essential principles being communicated in this series –
Stay Close – Christ’s invitation to follow is an invitation to come. We are not meant to follow at a distance, but in a close and personal way.
Listen Carefully - If we want to follow Jesus then we need to listen to Jesus primarily through His written word and in prayer.
Let Go - If we want to follow Jesus, then we each must develop the art of 'net-less' living. Like the disciples who were fishermen by trade, we too must drop our 'nets'.
Love Well - If we want to follow Jesus then you and I need to love very very carefully...and not selectively. We are called to love people 'as is.'
Share Christ Graciously - We are commissioned by God to share the good news of Jesus Christ and to do so intentionally, but very graciously.
Look Ahead - Authentic Christ followers live for a different world, the world to come. That is where our hope truly lies, not in this world, but in the world that is yet to come.

Essential Principle #7 is Living Intentionally –
*Intentional living requires a reason
*Intentional living requires perspective
*Intentional living requires action

Would you like a good strong inspirational speech? Will that get you where you feel you need to be?
*Today our youth are facing moral decisions that they were never intended to face, because of the blatant degradation of popular media exhibited by the onslaught of ‘adult’ cartoons, the disregard for decency by radio hosts, the easy access to pornographic material on the internet, t-shirt silk screens, and bumper stickers. Parents buy their children parental guidance cd’s and mature rated video games. They sneak them into movies that they have not paid for. They say, “I know that you are going to have sex, so I’m not going to argue about that with you. I only ask that you do it here in my house instead of somewhere unsafe.” “Billy, when I ask you a question; I expect the truth. Don’t lie to me. If you lie to me about this, then how will I be able to trust you.” The phone rings, “Billy, tell them I’m not here.” Parents say, “I want to be their friend. I want them to like me.” And lose sight of the goal, raising a son or daughter to serve Jesus Christ and love Him.

It’s no wonder our teens are confused. It’s no wonder teens are abandoning their faith today in record numbers. If we don’t live our lives with intention; if we don’t live our lives intently focused on the person of Jesus Christ; if we don’t live our lives with purpose and on purpose, then...

Oh, listen to me sounding off. Wow, what passion, what strength of opinion. I’m convinced. Count me in.

I imagine that most teens hearing that rant would be tuned out and thinking –
“You think you know me. You have no idea. You’re just like all the rest who want to relate.”
“I’ve heard all of this before. I’ve tried on Jesus. He didn’t fit.”
“When is this over? I want to go home and listen to my music and play my video games.”

Many parents would be secretly debating me right now. They may be uncomfortable facing fail points in their lives. They may see nothing wrong with anything that I have described so far. That’s ok, because they aren’t the greatest influencers in most teens’ lives. Their friends are. In most of your situations, your friends are an even greater influence in your life than God is. “John, that’s a pretty bold statement to make.” Is it? Why do youth pastors tell everyone to not look around when an invitation to accept Jesus Christ is presented? It’s to remove the negative influence of peers. God may be pulling and tugging at you to make a decision to follow Him, the most important decision you will ever make in your life, but if you think someone else in the room can see you, then you may not raise your hand, let alone stand or come forward. You may want to follow Christ in that moment or any moment, but if the eyes of your friend change your mind, then you aren’t following Christ. You are following your friend.

While I agree with everything that I said, I don’t think that my ranting is going to significantly change or impact anyone’s life here today. If that were my intention, then I would have failed miserably, because everything that you are thinking is probably more close to the truth than I would care to admit. I don’t know you. I have no idea. On some level, I may be just like all the rest who want to relate. I may have fired some of you up, and got your blood moving. You may have made an emotional decision to change something in your life in the last 30 seconds, but it probably won’t be a lasting one. Let me talk about real change… Father’s Day. My family visited a church in St. Charles. The pastor delivered a well-planned and clearly illustrated and impactful message about life’s storms, but I didn’t walk away with any life change from that message. This is what impacted me: when the worship leader was welcoming everyone, he said along with other things, “This is Father’s Day, and maybe God brought you into this place today to love you and to hold you, and show you what a Father’s love is about.” I thought of my son, and the way that I would yell at him in anger, and it was as if I could feel my heart break. I love my sons, and I want to be a primary influence in my children’s lives. That requires a relationship. That requires trust. That requires integrity. I want them to be able to understand who God is when they look at their father. That day I stopped. It wasn’t because of an elegant, well-crafted speech. It was because real change happens in the heart. I’m not talking about the transfer of knowledge from your mind to your heart. I’m talking about a connection of one heart to another. That Sunday, my heart connected with God’s. So this morning, I want to share with you from my heart, and my prayer is that as your hearts connect to mine, that most importantly, your hearts will connect to God’s. That’s real and that’s powerful.
First, I want to point out the irony of the intentional life. Absolutely, everyone lives life with intention, known or unknown, from a baby struggling to breathe on its own, to the insane gunman at Virginia Tech. Every action is spawned from a purpose or intent to accomplish something; whether we are talking about your morning routine, the ‘white lie’ you constructed to save face with your boss or coworker, or even coming here this morning. Every action is spawned from intent.

The impact of the intentional life can be catastrophic, it may be mundane, and it may be amazing.

In the Old Testament we are told the story of David and Bathsheba. David saw Bathsheba bathing on the roof of her home, his heart was consumed by lust; he wanted her. His army, of which her husband was a loyal member, was going into battle. David ordered her husband to the front of the line. He obeyed his commanding officer, and was killed that day in battle. David took Bathsheba into his home to “care for the grieving widow”. David had intentions, secret intentions actually, but God knew, and that’s why you can read about it today. Can you imagine penning that story as God is giving you the words to write. All of this time, you thought that David was a good king caring for his people. I think you’d have to put your pen down, and ask God to repeat himself a few times. “You mean to tell me that David intended to do that – He purposed in his heart to do that?” God replies, “Yes, shall we write about your secret intentions instead.” “No that’s ok. I believe you.”

*Our intentions, our willingness to pursue our intentions, and the actions that we take to accomplish our intentions have impact.

Two men were driving and dreaming through the rural countryside. After many detailed conversations with a carefully targeted consumer population, they had settled on a fairly high-level description of their end product. They felt it would be unwise to isolate their end product to one mold so they determined to design a flexible facility that would allow them to shift their production requirements rapidly to maintain synergy and momentum as the desires and needs of the consumer population changed which inevitably they would. They developed their costing models and billing strategies, constructed a well-planned and executable business plan, located a well-populated cluster of industry-free and financially struggling communities, gained trust and approval from the appropriate community leaders and local Chambers of Commerce, acquired sufficient funds from several investors, they consulted and contracted with several distribution networks, they took bids on the construction of their facility, and then a factory was built. While the factory was being built, the two men contracted with a process consulting firm. The firm assisted them in developing quality processes designed to ensure quality in their deliverable and yield as few defects and rework waste as possible. Plant managers, Shift Supervisors, Machine Operators, and Administrative personnel were hired and trained. Assembly began, and eventually three bicycles were seen riding through the local park.

Our intentions, our willingness to pursue our intentions, and the actions that we take to accomplish our intentions have impact.
A verse that became a life verse and center point for me a few years ago is John 10:10
*Jesus says, “I came that you might have life, and might have it abundantly.” I paraphrase that verse to say, “I came that you might have a good life.” That was Jesus intention. He came so that you would have the opportunity to have a good life. Most of you know what that intention cost Him. He laid down His own life for us. He knew the cost, but He also understood the impact. He paid the penalty for our sins so that we would not have to. You may hear that paraphrase, “I came that you might have a good life”, and think, “Sign me up, ‘cause I was just at the car show, and I really liked that Hummer.” I was at the car show, and the one that really caught my eye was the truck that has a big-rig front end, and a pickup bed back end. I was close to drooling. I had a really big grin on my face as my wife took my picture in the front seat. I didn’t get to sit in the driver’s seat though, because there was a little kid there. I think he may have actually been drooling. Sitting in the truck was nice. Owning the truck would be nicer. Paying for the gas to get the truck around; maybe not so much. But this verse never came to mind in that moment, because that’s not what this is about. Our selfish idea of a “good life” usually takes us down a path that will fulfill our perceived needs. Jesus didn’t die so that I could have a nice house, an easy commute to work, a chrome covered car, a nice stereo system, extravagant and memorable vacations, friends who adore me and lift me on their shoulders to show the world that they are friends with me, free gasoline or diesel for life, Fast food French fries that are perfectly salted, just came out of the oil, and overflowing their super-sized container and into my mouth, and He clearly didn’t die so that my son, Max, could have the blue ninja turtle from McDonalds, because I can’t find one anywhere.

Jesus died to meet our real, true needs. There are really only two of those. We have a need to be saved from an eternity separated from Him, and we have a need to be in a close intimate relationship with Him. Neither of those needs could ever be met if He didn’t sacrifice His life to save ours. We accept him as our Savior, and we are saved from an eternity apart from Him. We make daily and moment by moment decisions to follow Him, and we experience closeness and intimacy with Him. The ‘good life’ that Jesus came for, is a life being lived the way that it was intended.

Living with Intention. Here’s How –

*1) A life intent on following Jesus Christ requires a reason.
Hebrews 12:2
“Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

The “joy set before Him”: what was that joy? This verse gives the impression that Jesus could almost tangibly experience the elation, the overwhelming sense of pleasure, the joy that was set before Him. A part of that joy may have been pleasing His Father, and receiving His Father’s praise. His joy may have been knowing that the pain and agony that He was experiencing on the cross would cease, and He would be in paradise. I think that most of His joy, the thing that drove him to pursue His intention was you. I think that it was me. His joy is made fuller when you place your faith in Him, and enter into a personal relationship with Him and leave a life that was being lived apart from Him. His joy will be made complete when He comes again to take all of us who have placed our faith in Him to physically be with Him for all eternity.

The joy set before Him was you, and the joy set before you is Him. He is the reason that so many people have endured prison, torture and even death.

“They were stoned, they were sawn in two, they were tempted, they were put to death with the sword; they went about in sheepskins, in goatskins, being destitute, afflicted, ill-treated.
(men of whom the world was not worthy), wandering in deserts and mountains and caves and holes in the ground.”
Why? “Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.”

They had a reason. They believed that God was who He said He was, and that He would do all that He had promised.

You must have an Authentic Faith in Jesus Christ. That means that you believe that He is who He claims to be, and that He will do everything that He has promised to do.

A life intent on following Jesus Christ requires a reason
* 2) A life intent on following Jesus Christ requires perspective.

Your perception is not necessarily reality. I like to think that each of us lives with our own perception bubble. We have learned to interpret and understand life through the different experiences that we have encountered, both good and bad. They have created and continue to form our world views. Your world view may be drastically different than mine. Our decisions, actions, and responses are based on our worldview. There’s a problem with that. My worldview is faulty, and incomplete. God doesn’t have a perception bubble. He has a reality bubble. He transcends our limited perceptions. If our perspective that generates our decisions that determine our intentions that dictate our actions are based on our worldview, then we fall short. That’s why I used to think that it was a big deal when someone would wear jeans to church. God couldn’t be okay with that. I remember when I came here about 10 years ago to visit, I saw girls wearing camo pants. There’s no way that God could be okay with that. Wow was I off…. You see Jesus called the Pharisees (the holy people) ‘white washed tombs’. He meant that they were pretty and pleasing on the outside, but inside they were dead and decayed. God doesn’t care what I wear, He cares about my heart. We must learn to see the world the way that God sees the world. When we see the world the way that God sees the world; we will do what He says.

In fact one of the most important instructions that we were given by God can be found in Matthew 28:19 and 20
Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded…
When we see the world as God sees it, then we will see the people that he created in a way that doesn’t cast judgment and doesn’t assign shame. Instead, we will see their hearts and be concerned about whether or not they will have an opportunity to experience the abundant life that Christ died for here on this earth, and whether or not they will experience an eternity in the presence of Christ worshipping and serving Him. When we see our neighbors, coworkers, friends, and even those that seem to naturally rub us the wrong way… When we see others the way that God sees them, then we will do what He says. We will reach out to them. We will enter their world(s). We will love them, and share the impact that our relationship with Christ has on our life today, and share the hope and expectations that we have for an eternity in Christ’s presence.

Romans 12:2 says,
And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.
I like a version from a Bible paraphrase called “God’s Word for Students”
Don’t become like the people of this world. Instead, change the way you think. Then you will always be able to determine what God really wants – what is good, pleasing, and perfect.

If the perspective that generates our decisions that determine our intentions that dictate our actions are based on God’s worldview, then we will be following Jesus Christ and making an amazing impact on the world that we live in.

A life intent on following Jesus Christ requires a reason
A life intent on following Jesus Christ requires perspective
*3) A life intent of following Christ requires action.
Hebrews 12:1
“Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance, and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.”
These are action words – Lay Aside. I have to intentionally lay aside every encumbrance. That can be a lot of things. It’s not always bad things that get in our way. Sometimes it’s a t.v. show that you have to see, you don’t have a VCR and you don’t have DVR or a TIVO, so you skip out on your small group so that you don’t miss the tense, life changing, Christ focused experience on your t.v.; maybe it’s well-intentioned blogging that is full of theological debate. Is it moving you closer to Christ or cluttering your mind with confusion? Now follow this. You have a report that you have to get done in order to pass your journalism class, you really like your new skateboard deck so you strap your board to your backpack every day and go to the skatepark everyday after school’s out, go to work, come home and go to bed. But that report has to get done or you will fail. You usually spend about 15-30 minutes reading your Bible, praying, and journaling in the morning. You think to yourself, “I really need to get that report done. It’s going to take me 3 hours to do it. If I just cut out my God time in the morning for a week, then I’ll get my report done, be well on my way to becoming a professional skater, and pick up my Bible next week.” There are a lot of things that get in our way and sometimes we don’t even realize it. But we are told to “Lay them aside”. Don’t merely intend to lay them aside, we need to actually take action. We are also to lay aside the sin, the bad stuff, those things that creep in and corrode our relationship with Christ. We are told to lay those aside, too.
And let us RUN… We have to be moving. We have to be actively pursuing our intentions. We have to be in active pursuit of Christ.

Some practical steps:
· If you aren’t in a small group already, then get in one.
· If you are in a small group, then be an active participant.
· If you need focused help identifying barriers that you feel are in the way of following Christ, then your church has a peer counseling program call, “Genesis”. Sign up.
· If you can’t remember the last time you shared the impact of your faith with someone else, then do that.
· Maybe you need to go out to a park and just sit under a tree with a journaling book, or a sketch pad, and appreciate God’s creation.
Be in active pursuit of Christ.

Your intentional living will make an impact. Just like a father asks his daughter’s date to the prom, “What are your intentions with my daughter?” Jesus asks you, “What are your intentions with the life that I have given you? I have come that you might have life, and that you might have it abundantly.”*

A life intent on following Jesus Christ requires a reason
A life intent on following Jesus Christ requires perspective
A life intent on following Jesus Christ requires action

To Teens:
You live in a difficult world. You are encountering ideas and concepts that older generations had never even conceived of. The lyrics of your music are raw and direct. Destructive behavior that at one time were despised and avoided at all costs are now considered a natural part of the teenage life experience. Conversation topics that used to cause people to blush, don’t have the same effect because of what older generations would call a loss of innocence. All of that may be true, shock older generations, and cause parents to be concerned for their children. But you guys are growing up. Like the music you listen to, you are raw and direct. Your hearts are open and vulnerable. I think that Jesus is pleased when He see teens worship. When He see teens drop to their knees, raise their hands, hug eachother, cry on eachother, and pursue Him.

You have some of the biggest decisions of life ahead of you.

Who will I marry?
Where will I work?
How will I fit into society?

You also have BIG decisions right now.

Should I obey my parent’s curfew?Mom and dad won’t mind if I’m a few minutes late.I’m old enough to be out past 10:00.
Which friends will I hang out with this weekend?This friend is boring, but safe.This friend is fun, but dangerous.
What do I want my life to be like?
What will I do if someone offers me drugs at the party?I see other people here doing it.I’m young, shouldn’t I experiment a little.I didn’t know that he did drugs; they must be okay then.
What will happen if my date pressures me for sex?If I don’t do it, then he’ll think I’m a prudeHe wouldn’t ask me if he didn’t love me, right?

If you can begin now to see the way that God sees, then you will be more inclined to do what He says in these decisive moments.

I would like to close with a section from this book called, GOD’S BLOGS. It’s titled, Time:

7 Checkpoints: Ultimate Authority - To the Max

2007-03-04T13:12:00.000-08:00

.:Maximum Freedom is found under God’s Authority:.

Freedom is a big deal. Everyone thinks that they have some idea about what Freedom is all about. Some believe that Anarchy is the only true freedom. Spend some time over in Amsterdam’s red light district. It’s a place where anything goes. It’s a place that is full of open prostitution and drug use. Most people don’t want to live that way. People from all over the world want to come to the United States because of the freedom that we have. What does that mean? We do have a government. We have a large police force.

I pull a knife out and walk over to _____________ and stab you right in the heart. What will happen to you? You will die. What happened to your freedom? The boundary to your freedom was a choice that I made. That must mean that in a place that you thought you were completely free, you really weren’t. Just the fact there are no rules is a problem, because that in itself is a rule. It is impossible to live in a world without rules, because there will always be rules.

Freedom is a huge thing. It is an ideal that men strive for. Most stories of heroes have something to do with someone wanting freedom from something.

Boston Tea Party, Revolutionary War, Civil War, Operation: Desert Storm, Operation: Iraqi Freedom

When you become a senior you will probably go on a senior trip, either with a small group of friends, or with your class. A lot of teens go on these senior trips and experience things that they regret for the next several years of their lives. They are free. They are in Cancun or Myrtle Beach or Jamaica or Miami Beach. There is no one looking over their shoulder telling what they can and can’t do. They want to live life to it’s fullest. So they get stupid. They do things that they regret. They destroy relationships. Some teens that have made a commitment to be sexually pure end up giving it all away to someone. I mean isn’t that what it’s all about. Isn’t that fun? Getting drunk and passing out. Throwing up. All because they are now free.

Freedom is not the absence of rules. It isn’t doing whatever pleases me the most. Rules will always be there. But freedom is knowing what rules to follow. Our pledge of allegiance has the phrase “UNDER GOD” in it. Those two words are the key to finding freedom. Maximum freedom is found under God’s authority.

Romans 13:1-2
1. Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God.
2. Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves.

This verse is pretty straight-forward.
Who must submit to authority? Everyone
Why must everyone submit to authority? Because God established it.

Who is God? What is your view of God? What place does God have in your life?

The authorities that exist have been established by God.

Stop me if you’ve heard this -
In the beginning, GOD created the heavens and the earth.

God was here first…… not you and not me

Every sentence has a noun and a verb. In Genesis chapter 1, every sentence has a noun and a verb. The noun in every sentence is the same. (Read it)

Job 40 and 41 (probably one of the most powerful expressions of who God is)
Job’s response in Job 42: 1-6

How many of you have a problem with you mom or dad giving you the answer, “Because I said so…”? Why is that?

Isaiah 6:1-5
The prophet Isaiah had a vision of the awesomeness of who God is, and he describes it.

Let me make a counter-cultural statement

We don’t submit to our parents authority, and we don’t submit to the legal authorities, because we don’t have a proper understanding of our place. We don’t understand where we fit. Every part of us is wanting to create our own boundaries instead of living inside boundaries that are already created. In short we have a desire to be the ultimate authority of our own lives. I make the rules. The problem is that there is only one ultimate authority, and that is God.

Who is God, that I should listen and obey? The Bible tells us that God is love. God is the friend that sticks closer than a brother. God is fair. It also very clearly tells us that God is the Ultimate Authority (The Stone was rolled away)
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Breakout Session Guide -
Is “Because I said so” ever an adequate reason for obedience? Why or Why not?

Have your parents ever asked you to do something that you didn’t do on purpose? What was it and why didn’t you do it?

Name five authority figures (or 5 relationships that you have – my parent; my coach; my teacher; my probation officer; etc…) who you have deliberately disobeyed at any time in your life. (Name more if you can)
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

What would cause you to make the decision to not obey the instructions of an authority figure? (Is there something that you are expecting from them before you will obey them? Are you just stubborn?)

7 Checkpoints: Ultimate Authority - Ultimate Freedom

2007-03-04T13:09:00.000-08:00

Trudy was a good girl. She usually did what her mom said, but today was different. She was 16 years old today. Today she would get her driver’s license. She would experience freedom like she never had before. Trudy’s mom was a little bit on the strict side. Trudy didn’t think her mom would ever let her grow up. There was so much that she wanted to experience. She just felt like her mom was holding her back. Anyway, there was this guy at school named, Tom. Tom was really popular. He had an edge about him. There was something dangerous about Tom that was attractive to Trudy. Tom had something that Trudy desperately wanted. Tom had freedom, at least that what Trudy thought. Friday night was the big party at Tom’s house and Trudy was invited. She knew that her mom would never go for it. Her mom had heard about teenage parties. She would say that they were nothing more than a bunch of doped up and drunk teens having sex. Friday night came and Trudy really wanted to go to the party so she decided to lie to her mom and tell her that she was going over to her friend Cindy’s house and that she would be out late. Her mom agreed to let her go.
Trudy drove over to Tom’s house. A couple of her friends were already there. She wanted to experience what it meant to be free. She saw the cooler of beer in the corner, popped one open and began to drink. She was standing next to the cooler when Tom walked up to get a beer. Their eyes met, and Tom began to talk to her. She couldn’t believe it. Tom was actually talking to her. They both downed a couple more beers. She was really experiencing freedom now. Half way through the party Tom had managed to corner her in the bathroom, and then tried to take advantage of her. Luckily, her friend, Rachel, had seen Tom follow her in, and was able to stop him. When Tom left, Trudy was on the floor in the corner of the bathroom crying. She couldn’t believe what had happened. Is this what freedom felt like? If this was freedom, then it was definitely overrated. Rachel took her home. When Trudy got home, she saw her mom and told her everything that had happened. They both cried. Trudy cried because of the experience, and her mom cried because she never wanted Trudy to have to experience something like that.

Freedom is a big deal. Everyone thinks that they have some idea about what Freedom is all about. Some believe that Anarchy is the only true freedom. Spend some time over in Amsterdam’s red light district. It’s a place where anything goes. It’s a place that is full of open prostitution and drug use. Most people don’t want to live that way. People from all over the world want to come to the United States because of the freedom that we have. What does that mean? We do have a government. We have a large police force.

Everyone is always following something or someone. If you aren’t following someone (parents, teachers, law enforcement, friends), then you are following some idea, and that idea holds you captive. People’s idea of complete freedom is interesting, because whatever they are going for is defined. You would think that true freedom is completely undefined. I can do whatever I want. There will always be boundaries. Let’s pretend that there are absolutely no rules whatsoever. I pull a knife out and walk over to _____________ and stab you right in the heart. What will happen to you? You will die. What happened to your freedom? The boundary to your freedom was a choice that I made. That must mean that in a place that you thought you were completely free, you really weren’t. Just the fact there are no rules is a problem, because that in itself is a rule. It is impossible to live in a world without rules, because there will always be rules.

How many of you have seen the movie Braveheart? Braveheart is the story of a Scottish man named William Wallace. During his time, the English ruled the Scottish. The English would come in on the day of a wedding and would rape the bride so that she would hopefully become pregnant with an English baby and they would in turn ‘breed’ the Scottish out. The Scottish lived in fear of the English. William Wallace stepped up and began to lead the Scottish to victories over the English. Eventually he was captured and was to be tortured to death by tying his intestines to a horse and having the horse pull them out. What was his last word? FREEDOM!!!!
Eventually, the Scottish won their freedom from the English. What do you think the Scottish did? They set up their own government. They made their rules to live by, and set up men to enforce the laws.

Freedom is a huge thing. It is an ideal that men strive for. Most stories of heroes have something to do with someone wanting freedom from something.

Boston Tea Party, Revolutionary War, Civil War, Operation: Desert Storm, Operation: Iraqi Freedom

When you become a senior you will probably go on a senior trip, either with a small group of friends, or with your class. A lot of teens go on these senior trips and experience things that they regret for the next several years of their lives. They are free. They are in Cancun or Myrtle Beach or Jamaica or Miami Beach. There is no one looking over their shoulder telling what they can and can’t do. They want to live life to it’s fullest. So they get stupid. They do things that they regret. They destroy relationships. Some teens that have made a commitment to be sexually pure end up giving it all away to someone. I mean isn’t that what it’s all about. Isn’t that fun? Getting drunk and passing out. Throwing up. All because they are now free.

Freedom is not the absence of rules. It isn’t doing whatever pleases me the most. Rules will always be there. But freedom is knowing what rules to follow. Our pledge of allegiance has the phrase “UNDER GOD” in it. Those two words are the key to finding freedom. Maximum freedom is found under God’s authority.

God designed us. The Bible says that God knew you even before you were born. He knows what is best for our lives. He knows what rules to live by. They are pretty much common sense.

Do to others, as you would have them do to you.

The greatest commandment is ‘Love the Lord your God with all of your heart, soul, and strength.’ The second greatest commandment is like it, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’

Honor your father and mother that it may be well with you….

Maximum freedom is found under God’s authority.

Romans 13:1-2
1. Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God.
2. Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves.

#1 – If you don’t then you will be subject to punishment by the authorities.
#2 - It is a conscience issue. If the government is asking something of you that is contrary to what God asks, then we must follow God rather than men, but be prepared to pay the consequences for that act. (Acts 5:29)
#3 – For Jesus sake (When Jesus returns we want to be found faithful)

God wants us to have the best life possible.

That means that we trust God.
That means that we set up solid moral boundaries.
That means that we learn to see the world the way that God sees it.
That means that we make sure that we have healthy friendships.
That means that we make sure that we are making good choices.
That also means that we listen to and obey the authorities that God has placed in our lives.
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Breakout Session Guide -
1) How would you define freedom?
Notes – Hopefully this is pretty straightforward. Then again….=)

2) What keeps you from experiencing freedom in your life?
Notes – This is getting at any rules or restrictions that they have on their lives right now. Some of them don’t drive yet. Maybe they don’t have a job so they can’t get any money (no money = no fun)

3) Have you ever done something that your parents or someone else told you would be a bad idea to do, but you did it anyway? Did you find out that they were right?
Notes – As luck would have it they probably won’t have ever experienced anything like this. At least not they will say, but we’ll ask anyway. Who knows maybe someone will be open about this. Another alternative question might be – Have you ever done anything that you know you would get in trouble for if your parents found out? What types of things could have gone wrong because of what you did? What would happen if your parents found out about it?

7 Checkpoints: Wise Choices - God's Will

2007-03-04T13:02:00.000-08:00

Sarah sat on the couch with her Bible in her lap. She randomly opened the Bible and dropped her finger on a word. Sarah was about to graduate from high school, and was really scared about her future. What was next for her? Where would she go to college? Should she go to college? The first question she had to answer was, “What do I want to be when I grow up?” Sarah’s little sister, Heather, walked up and sat down beside her.

H – What are you doing?
S – I’m trying to figure out what I’m supposed to be when I grow up?
H – Do you think that the Bible will tell you that?
S – I was kind of hoping…
H – What about a dentist?
S – The office smells, and people’s mouths are gross.
H – How about a lawyer?
S – They work too much.
H – You know my friend’s mom is an administrative assistant, and I think that she likes her job.
S – I don’t know. Does anyone really ever start out in life saying, “I want to be an administrative assistant or I want to be middle management?” Most jobs are just where people end up, and not really what they really want.
H – Sarah, I really don’t care what you decide to be. I look up to you because you are my big sister. I’m more interested in you, than in what you do with your life.
S – Thanks, Heather. You’re the best sister ever!!!

Heather got off the couch, and went into the kitchen to help her mom get dinner ready. Sarah looked down at her Bible to see what verse she had landed on. Maybe it would answer all of her questions.

S – Isaiah 26:3 You, Lord, give perfect peace to those who keep their purpose firm and put their trust in You.

Somehow Sarah understood that God would take care of her, and that was enough. She closed her Bible and went into the kitchen for dinner.
First things first –
Your future is out there, and I don’t think that it’s a stretch to say that thinking about the future can be a frightening thing. You make decisions every day. Every decision that you make has the potential to change something about your life or the lives of others. Sometimes that change can be very drastic and sometimes not so much.
A man I work with told me that his son is going to head off to the Navy after he graduates which will be in about a month. I said, “That’s neat, but you’re going to have a very sad mother on your hands.” This is her first son leaving the house, and not only is he leaving, there is very real potential that he could be heading into a life that could be very dangerous and life-threatening. Then he told me that his other son is going to start studying to be a lawyer. I told him that his son should make very very sure that he wants to be a lawyer, because he may not like the life that comes with it. Lawyers work excruciating long hours. Those hours are all very detailed, and to my mind, they are stressful. He’ll have to go to very expensive school for several years. At the end of which, he will have school loans in the 100,000’s that will have to be paid off, and the only way to pay bills like that off is to be a lawyer or a doctor. He’ll be stuck.

My neighbor and I work at the same company. When we see each other outside, one of the first questions that we ask is, “How’s work?” He made an interesting comment to me the other day. He said, “My brother in law is starting the interview process to become a policeman this week. I’m really happy for him, because he has wanted to be a policeman for as long as he can remember. Very few people end up doing what they really want to do. Look at me, I consult clients on their companies insurance plans. Doing this for a living never even crossed my mind growing up. I didn’t even know that a job like this existed, but here I am. At least I’m getting paid.”

We all have dreams and goals. Sometimes they come true, and sometimes they don’t. Life happens. You get married. You need money. You have to work to get money. You find a job, and there you are. You are a carpenter’s apprentice. You are a stockboy at Dominick’s. You are working in a bank. For most people these are not dream jobs, but it’s what they do. Then every once in a while someone gets their dream job.

We spend a lot of time wondering what we’re going to be when we grow up. Usually we are really asking ourselves, “What am I going to DO when I grow up? The question we should really be concerned with is “WHO am I going to be, and what does God want me to do for Him?

God’s will for your life is to be like Him, perfect.
Philippians 1:6
For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.

God calls everyone who believes in him to be in the ministry.
Mathew 28:18-20
And Jesus came up and spoke to them saying, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”

God calls some to be in the ministry AS their job.

God calls some to be in the ministry AT their job.

Ephesians 4:11&12
And God gave some as apostles, and some as prophets, and some as evangelists, and some as pastors, and some as teachers, for the equipping of the saints for the work of service, to the building up of the body of Christ.

God has chosen to call me to be a pastor, more specifically a youth pastor. I wish I had some magical story about how that happened, but I don’t.

All I know is that when I was graduating from high school, I was on one track, and that was to be a pastor. I sat in my friends car on day after church with her mother, and they asked me where I was going to go to college and what I would major in. I said, “I’m going to Moody Bible Institute in Chicago to be a pastor.” They said, “Really. You’re too spastic to be a pastor. You should be a youth pastor.” So I said, “OK”. So that’s what I did.

Sometimes, I still wake up wondering, “Am I doing what God wants me to do?” I spoke to a woman 2 days ago who confessed to me, “I’m 50 years old, and I still ask the question, What does God want me to do with my life?”

1. Start a relationship with Christ
2. Pray
3. Read your Bible
4. Talk to people about it who can give you good counsel
5. Be alert to what God is doing in your life
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Breakout Session Guide B.S.L. stands for Breakout Session Leader -
1. Spend some time talking about what they want to be when they grow up. Celebrate their decisions with them. Encourage them on towards their goals.
What do you want to be when you grow up? Why?
BSL – Many of our dreams and aspirations are self-centered. They are what we want.
What God wants has never entered out minds. What is going to bring me pleasure in
This life? When our perspective is that true joy and contentment comes with pleasing
God, then we can begin to really answer that question, and trust that we will be happy
With that pursuit.

2. Encourage them further that their focus needs to be on who they will be as opposed to what they will do. What we do is a direct response to who we are. As adults we know that our career paths hardly characterize us as people.

3. If the group is willing, take some time praying for one another and that we will become what God wants us to become.

7 Checkpoints: Wise Choices

2007-03-04T12:52:00.000-08:00

The bus had just dropped Jamie off in front of his house. That’s when Jamie realized that he had forgotten his homework assignment in his locker at school. This was an important assignment. It meant the difference between passing and failing his Sophmore year.
Jamie didn’t know what to do. Just that morning, his mom had warned him about what would happen if he forgot his homework one more time. He would have to take summer school, and do both his and his sisters chores for the whole summer. He couldn’t tell his mom that he forgot it again. He had to think of something and fast, because his mom had already seen him get off the bus.

Mom – Hi, Jamie. I’ve got some cookies inside. How was school today?

N – Jamie thought to himself,

Jamie – “I’ll avoid the conversation altogether until I think of something.”

Jamie – Hi, Mom. I’m starving. Do we have milk?

N – Jamie wasn’t really starving. He was stalling.

Mom – I asked you how school was today.

Jamie – School is school. It’s not great. It’s not horrible. It’s just school. More importantly, how was your day?

N – Now Jamie’s mom knew that something was going on here. The last time that Jamie asked his mom about her day was…….Never.

Mom – Jamie, where is your homework? I called your history teacher today, and she told me that you had a 3 page worksheet to complete and a chapter to read.

N – Busted. Was there a way out of this? Jamie thought to himself

Jamie – “If I say I forgot it, then I’m stuck in summer school and I’m doing Julie’s chores. History isn’t until after lunch. I can do my homework during lunch, and then noone will ever know that I didn’t do it tonight. I’ll tell my mom that I finished it on the bus. No that won’t work. She’ll want to see it. I’ll tell her that I finished it in study hall. She doesn’t know when my study hall is. That’s what I’ll say.”

Jamie – I finished that in study hall today. It was so easy. The questions were fill in the blank right out of the book. I just read the chapter and answered the questions as I went along. It was so easy. You could have done it.

Mom – I’m going to trust you, Jamie. If you are lying to me, then you will pay the consequences. By the way, I invited your teacher over for dinner tonight. I’m looking forward to talking about what you read today in study hall.Jamie probably didn’t make the wisest choice. Jamie lied to his mother. I wonder what dinner will be like for Jamie.

I want to read something to you. Open your Bibles to Ephesians 5:15-17.
That’s on page ______.

Tonight we are going to focus on those last six words, “The will of the Lord is”

The words, “God’s will,” seem to take on all kinds of different meaning, and bring out different emotions. Sometimes there is fear and uncertainty. Other times there is a indescribably peace and a strength that comes from the comfort of God’.

There’s a new country song out that actually made me cry. I couldn’t help it. It was about a little boy named, “Will”. He was handicapped, and a lady took care of him during the day. She would take him to the park, and they would play. He had a great attitude. It made her realize that if Will could get through the pain that was a part of his life, she could get through the pain that was a part of hers. In the end of the song we learn that Will only has a couple of months left to live, and Will and his mother are leaving to go to California to see a specialist. Will give his babysitter a card that just says, Thank you from Will and God.

That was a really nice play on words, but what is God’s will really? Many people ask the question, “What is God’s will for my life?” How will I know when I have achieved God’s will for my life?

The term “God’s Will” seems to me to be a bit mysterious and unapproachable until we break it down a little bit, and make less scary.

You have a will. You have willpower. “I had to eat that last donut. I just don’t have enough willpower. You got up this morning, because you willed it. You said, “I have to go to school. I will get up, and go.”

Another way to say this is that you have desires. Your teachers and your parents have desires, too. They desire that you get a good education, and that you attend school in order to that. You may not necessarily desire that for yourself, but you accept their desires for you and you go to school.

So lets change the question, “What is God’s desire for my life?” What does God want for me?

#1 – God wants you to have a relationship with Him.

1 Corinthians 1;9 – “God is faithful, through whom you were called into fellowship with His Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.”

John 3:16 – “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him will not perish, but will have everlasting life.”

Jesus Christ died so that this would be possible. He shed His own blood on the cross for you and for me. He loves you that much. You need to hear that, “God loves you. He cares about you and he has a wonderful plan for your life.”

#2 – God wants you to have a good life.
John 10:10 – I came that you might have life, and that you might have it abundantly

God created you on purpose. He also created you for a purpose. God desires that we worship Him. He desires that we grow to be more like Him.

Philippians 1:6 – “For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.”

He desires that we tell others about him. He desires that we have close relationships with eachother, and that we serve eachother

#3 – God wants your desires to be His desires.
Jamie’s mom and his teacher both want Jamie to succeed. They don’t want Jamie to fail and have to go through summer school to catch back up with his friends. Jamie wants to have fun and ‘enjoy life’. He doesn’t want to spend his time doing homework. He’ll do much better in school if he chooses to desire the same thing that his mom desires.

Tom wants to be an awesome drummer someday. When his teacher tells him that he will need to practice several times a week, he’s telling him because he wants Tom to succeed. If Tom chooses not to be obedient to his teacher, then he will only be a mediocre drummer who is capable of keeping a beat with a few little cymbal crashes for emphasis.

We all have choices to make every day. We can be wise or we can be foolish about our choices. When your desires are the same as God’s desires, then you will be making wise choices, unlike our friend, Jamie.

N – Later that afternoon Jamie walked up to his mom in the kitchen, because he knew that he had to make things right.

Jamie – Mom. I have something to tell you. I lied to you earlier. I didn’t do my homework yet, and I forgot it all in my locker. I guess that this means that I will be doing Julie’s chores for the summer, huh.

Mom – Jamie, I know that you lied to me. I’m your mother. It hurt that you didn’t think that you could tell me the truth the first time. I am glad that you were wise enough to come and set things straight. You will have to do some of Julie’s chores this summer, but because of your honesty you’ll only have to do them twice a week. As for your homework, your teacher is bringing over an extra copy of the book and an extra copy of the worksheet. I called her when I realized that you weren’t telling me the truth. She’ll be here in about an hour for dinner.
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Breakout Session Guide B.S.L stands for Breakout Session Leader -

Have you ever been in a situation like Jamie’s? What did you do? Were you wise?
BSL – Story time. If you can think of a story from your own life, then share it. Let them
Do the same. Wise = Choosing right

What is your will? What is your will for being here tonight? Why are you here? What is it about The Grip that satisfies your will?
BSL – Let them answer how they want. Encourage all of the answers, and really
Encourage the great answers. J

1) Julie rushed home. “Good”, she thought, I beat Mom to the mailbox. Midterm progress reports were out. The failure notice in geometry would definitely not be a big hit. Since the divorce, Julie’s mother had been bugging her to improve her grades. Julie had tried, but Mr. Bradshaw didn’t teach geometry very well. Julie vowed to improve her grades. She knew she could do better. Why upset her mom when the quarter grades don’t count anyway?

What would you do in Julie’s situation? Reason?
What should you do in Julie’s situation? Reason?
What would Jesus do in Julie’s situation? Reason?

Genesis 12:11-13
2 Kings 6:19-23
Psalm 35:20
Proverbs 20:17
Jeremiah 17:9

2) Kim’s parents believed her again when she told them she didn’t know she was an hour late. They trusted her. Kim didn’t think it was her fault that she had to stretch the truth so often. She believed she wouldn’t have to do it at all if her parents weren’t so strict. Her curfew was just too early. All of her friends were allowed to stay out much later. Kim had tried talking to her parents several times, but they didn’t seem to listen.

What would you do in Julie’s situation? Reason?
What should you do in Julie’s situation? Reason?
What would Jesus do in Julie’s situation? Reason?

Psalm 35:20
Proverbs 23:25
Proverbs 30:11
Romans 7:11
Romans 7:18-23
Colossians 3:20
BSL – Pick one of the 2 above situations. Have the students in your group look up the
Verses. You may get nothing out of the verse or it may be great. Just have an open talk.

7 Checkpoints: Healthy Friendships - Accountability

2007-03-04T12:46:00.000-08:00

John 10:10
I have come that you might have life and that you might have it abundantly.

Paraphrase – Jesus came so that I could have a good life.

What is a good life?
A life that fulfills it’s reason for being. Anything short of that, falls short of having a good life. True fulfillment in life comes when we become what we were created to become.

You and I were created in God’s image. That’s exciting. That means that you and I are on a spiritual journey. That’s something that can’t be said about anything else that has ever been created.

We were created to worship God. Worshipping God is a privilege that has been reserved for you and me, people.

When you worship something or someone, you are saying, “You are worthy of my time” “You are worthy of my resources” “You are worth it”

1 Timothy 4:12
Let no one look down on your youthfulness, but rather in speech, conduct, love, faith, and purity show yourself an example of those who believe.

How many of you would agree that adults sometimes have a tendency to look down at young people. ____________________ That’s typically because recklessness, disrespect, apathy, selfishness, and foolishness are usually associated with young people’s behavior.

One of the ways that we show God that He’s worth it, is by listening to what He has to say and doing it.

What are some examples of Speech ____________ Conduct _____________ etc…?

That’s nice that we have an idea of what God wants us to do, but the big question is HOW???????

1) Be with the right people…

Proverbs 13:20 – He who walks with the wise will become wise, but he is the companion of fools will suffer harm.

Does anyone remember the difference between someone who is wise and someone who is a fool?

A wise friend is a good friend – Good friends know the difference between right and wrong. Good friends make good decisions. IT IS ALWAYS EASIER TO DO THE RIGHT THING WHEN YOU ARE WITH THE RIGHT PEOPLE.

A foolish friend is not a good friend – A foolish person also know the difference between right and wrong, and chooses to do the wrong. They aren’t ignorant. They just aren’t interested in doing right regardless of the consequences, and they will drag you down with them.

That brings me to another reason we were created.

We were created to have deep and meaningful relationships with each other.

2) Be accountable

Proverbs 27:17
As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another

It’s called accountability.
If I am smart, then I’m going to surround myself with wise friends who will let me know when I am not being wise. They will let me know when I am making bad decisions in my speech, my conduct, my love, my faith, and my purity.

They will hold me to a standard.
-------------------------------------
Breakout Session Guide -

Give each person in the group a blank piece of paper and a pen.
Read 1 Timothy 4:12
Now Read it again and each time you come to a description (Speech, Conduct, Love, etc…) have a person write down that word.
If you run out of words, then just do it all again. If you run out of people, then just have some people do two.

Now hand out deflated balloons (one per person)

Have each person roll up their piece of paper and stick it inside the balloon.

Blow up the balloons and tie them off.

Put all the balloons in the middle of the group.

Each person, when it is there turn will take a balloon, pop it, read the paper, and give 2 examples (1 good and 1 bad)
Speech – Good – Thank you, mom….
Bad – You’re a moron….

BSL – Be sure to participate in this exercise with your group.

7 Checkpoints: Healthy Friendships - The Real Deal

2007-03-04T12:39:00.000-08:00

What type of friend are you?
If you were a company, what would your name be, and what would you do?
Example 1: Mary’s nickel and dime store. I only give people the minimum.
Example 2: Susie’s Sunshine Palace. I try to make everybody happy.

Can you tell the difference between a REAL friend and a FAKE one?
Have them expand on their answers. Compare their answers to what a counterfeit
friend really looks like. 1) The direction of the relationship 2) Self-destructive
behavior. 3) A lack of solid convictions.

What does it mean to love someone?
What does a loving friendship look like?
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 is a good passage to look through. The point is that a true
friend is more interested in you as a person, than they are in your friendship. They
will do what they have to do to help you make wise choices, even if it means
sacrificing your friendship.

7 Checkpoints: Healthy Friendships - Blue Skies

2007-03-03T20:05:00.000-08:00

Three friends were lying in the grass underneath the stars one night, when they began to wonder out loud what they were. The first one said that they were fireflies that were stuck. The second one said that they were dead people looking down on us. The third one said that they were balls of gas burning millions of miles away.

Two boys and a girl were walking to school one day. They were talking to eachother about why the sky was blue.
The first boy said that the sky was blue because the earth is 75% water, water is reflective, and the sunlight bounces off of the water and back to the sky causing it to look blue.
The second boy said that the sky was blue because it was supposed to be.
The girl said that the sky is blue because it isn’t gray. If it were filled with rain and storms, then it wouldn’t be blue.

Who’s right?

How many of you like to watch storms at night. They are pretty awesome right. What happens when it storms? Damage. Things get damaged or destroyed. Lightning is powerful. My friend was in Vegas once where it rains about 2% of the year. He was there during a storm. He could see the desert from his room, and he watched the lightning hit the ground. ‘BAM’ and then sand would fly up from the force of the lightning.

The sky is something beautiful when it’s clear and blue. It’s safe. It’s fun. It has a real positive effect on our attitudes. When the sky is gray, we call it gloomy and depressing. The sky would always be blue if it weren’t for the rain and bad weather.

Proverbs 13:20
He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.

Let me tell you what this is not saying: There are youth ministries in our community who would have you believe that if a person is not a Christian, then you should not hang out with them. The Bible doesn’t teach that. Jesus built relationships with everyone. He did not shun someone because of his or her lifestyle.

This verse raises a few questions:
1) What is a fool?
a. A fool is someone who knows right from wrong and chooses to do the wrong. They simply don’t care about doing right. They aren’t ignorant. They are just uninterested.
2) Are you a fool?
3) Do you hang with fools?
4) Who do I know that’s wise?

Just because you hang around fools, doesn’t mean that you will become a fool. It means that sooner or later something bad will happen to you.

You were created by God to have a great life. Jesus said, I have come that you might have life, and that you might have it abundantly. Most people go through life and never really experience it the way that God intended them to. We make bad decisions. We hang with people who make bad decisions.

You might find this interesting:
When I was growing up, surveys said that the top 3 greatest influences in my life were:
1) Spiritual leaders
2) Teachers
3) Parents

That list has changed. Guess whom the top three influences are in your life:
1) Parents
2) Media
3) Friends are the number one influence

Your friends are the most powerful influence in your life. Your friends have more influence over you than anybody, including yourself and even including God.

Do you know why? Because we all have 3 basic HUGE needs –
I want to be loved.
I want to be people to look at me and know that I can do whatever it is.
I want to belong (I want to be accepted)

On the questions that we asked last week, most of you said that acceptance isn’t important to you. Apparently, it is important. It is actually one of the most important things in your life. Just chew on that for a little bit.

Everyone has some goals for what they want their lives to look like. Girls have been planning their marriages since they were 10 and 12 years old. Your future isn’t just about a job. It’s about who will you be. What kind of man will you be? What kind of woman will you be?

Your friendships determine the direction and the quality of your life. Choose your friends wisely.

7 Checkpoints: Moral Boundaries - Sexual Purity

2007-03-03T16:55:00.000-08:00

Two birds were singing in an oak tree one Sunday morning. It was about 3am. Most people were sound asleep, and they couldn’t hear the birds, but there were 2 people who heard the birds loud and clear. They knew that the birds chirping meant that the morning had arrived, and their parents would realize that they weren’t at home in their beds where they were supposed to be. Jimmy started the car and drove Liz home.
They were both a little embarrassed by the night before. Liz had never been in that situation before. She was 15years old, and she wasn’t sure what to think about what had happened. She had liked Jimmy for about a year. Finally, Jimmy asked her out. They went to the movie theater, but she doesn’t remember what the movie was. She doesn’t even remember watching. She was too busy with Jimmy to know what was going on around her. It was obvious that Jimmy hadn’t intended on watching the movie. She wondered why he agreed to watch a chick-flick with her. On their way home, Jimmy pulled over and parked the car in an obscure out of the way parking lot. He laid out a blanket on the grass, and pulled out some sandwiches and Dr. Pepper. They laid down on the blanket and looked up at the stars for at least an hour. But that hour wasn’t just spent watching the stars in the sky. Everything had happened so fast. The next thing she knew the birds were chirping.
Jimmy was just doing what his friends told him he should do on the date to make it really romantic and meaningful. She’ll love it, and so will you… He had never been in that situation before either.
When Liz got home, she snuck through the front door and up to her bedroom to crawl into bed. She felt a body in her bed, and it made her jump. Then the body spoke, “Liz, what time is it?” It was her mom.

What happened that night between Liz and Jimmy? Why were they embarrassed? What will it be like when they see each other at school on Monday? How will Liz answer her mom’s questions? What is sexual purity and why is it important?

Purity paves the way for Intimacy. The greater your level of purity, the greater the level of real intimacy that you will be able to experience with your future husband or wife.

Sex isn’t something that’s talked about in settings like this often. It’s something that people talk about quite frequently in other settings though. Chat rooms are full of sexual innuendos, and slighted solicitations for sex. There are websites whose sole purpose is to rate how sexable people are. Many people want to be sexually appealing to other people. Who would you ‘do’ it you had the chance?

The sex that is communicated most often in our society is a past-time. It’s a lifestyle. It’s the way that we are supposed to be. It’s just what we do. The term ‘friends with benefits’ has become common and accepted as a lifestyle. Some of us set up boundaries for how far we will go, but we base those boundaries on what is comfortable for us, and what we think is ok and what we think is not ok. We know the consequences of premarital sex, but we dismiss them.

I have prepared a questionnaire for you to respond to and discuss in your Breakout Sessions. Be honest with your answers.

7 Checkpoints: Moral Boundaries - Sexual Purity (Teen Questionaire)

2007-03-03T16:52:00.000-08:00

Define Sexual Purity in your own words (what does it mean to be sexually pure?)

Does sexual purity matter? What’s the big deal with remaining sexually pure?

What is a virgin?

Is it reasonable to expect us to remain virgins until we are married?

How do you respond to these quotes?
Educators who tell teenagers that sex is just part of growing up and that it can be a "loving and learning" experience outside of marriage don't understand that men and women are created by God "in His image" and are not the result of an amoral, animalistic, evolutionary process. God teaches that sex outside of marriage is wrong and that there will be consequences for such actions."(John Ankerberg & John Weldon, The Myth of Safe Sex)

RESPONSE-

"Purity doesn't happen by accident; it requires obedience to God. But this obedience is not burdensome or overbearing. Impurity is a grimy film that coats the soul, a shadow that blocks light and darkens our countenance. Without purity, God's gift of sexuality becomes a destruction game. A relationship devoid of purity is soon reduced to nothing more than two bodies grasping at and demanding pleasure. Without purity, the mind becomes a slave to depravity, tossed about by every sinful craving and imagination."(Joshua Harris ... I Kissed Dating Goodbye (A New Attitude Toward Romance and Relationships)

RESPONSE-

Our society is starving for intimacy. And many of the lies we believe in our culture have to do with our hunger for relationship. We want acceptance, loving relationships and deep intimacy, and yet we believe the lie that sex will satisfy our hunger. It's true that we are profoundly sexual beings, but it's time to examine some of the lies we feast on: the lie that premarital sex is one of our unalienable rights, the lie that sexual intercourse is the route to intimacy, and the lie that premarital abstinence is obsolete at best and repressive at worst.

RESPONSE-

7 Checkpoints: Moral Boundaries - Thought Life (part 4)

2007-03-03T16:49:00.000-08:00

I don’t want to be funny tonight. I want to be serious. I want to share something from my heart to your heart.

When we started on this topic of our thought life the focus really was supposed to be on sex, and how it impacts our thoughts and our purity.

We ended up somewhere a little more different. It was a place that was a little bit more scary and more intense and full of honesty.

I have these questionnaires that you guys filled out last week. Some of you were bold enough to hand these in. This was an anonymous exercise. Your anonymity is safe. Some of you didn’t hand yours in, and that’s completely ok.

I read through the ones that I received. It really hurt my heart to read the things that are on your minds. I really hurt for you. I was still thinking about everything the next day as I was driving into work, and I felt emotionally overwhelmed by what you guys carry around with you everyday.

Then I thought about those of you who didn’t turn yours in. Either you didn’t know that you could turn them in or you were too embarrassed to turn them in.

I need everyone to know that The Grip is not a place of shame. The Grip is a place that you can find relief from your shame. You are free to just BE here.

This is why: We have a desire to reflect Jesus Christ here, and that’s what he’s like.

If you read about His time here in the New Testament of the Bible you will see very quickly that He was not about making people feel bad about themselves.

John 10:10
I have come that you might have life, and that you might have it abundantly

The papers that I read this week weren’t that. They were filled with despair and hopelessness and confusion. Jesus came that we would have a good life

1 Peter 5:7
Cast your cares upon Him for He cares for you

How do I know that?

Greater love has no man than this, that he lay down His life for His friends

John 3:16

Knowing the mind of God – having the Spirit of God

7 Checkpoints: Moral Boundaries - Thought Life (part 3)

2007-03-03T16:46:00.000-08:00

Maximum Purity = Maximum Intimacy

What do you think of when I say, Intimate?

I’m talking about closeness. It is an absence of barriers or walls in a relationship. When you have impurity in your life, it breeds shame, we don’t want people to get too close when we have something that we don’t want them to know about.

The level of purity that you have in your life will determine the closeness that you will have with others.

As promised, tonight we will be talking about our thought lives…

We are mainly influenced by 3 things: Ourselves (Our own capacity to do wrong), The World (society, culture, etc.), and Satan.

Our focus is on establishing and maintaining godly moral boundaries, even in what we think about. So, how do we set limits to the things that we think about? Is that even possible? If so, then how? (Change – Environment, Heart, Mind, Life)

Maximum purity = Maximum Intimacy (How committed to purity are you?)

Scripture Guide:
Philippians 4:8
…Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let you mind dwell on these things.

Psalm 119:9-10
How shall a young man keep his way pure? By living according to Your word. I seek You with all of my heart do not let me stray from Your commands.

Matthew 15:17-20
Do you not understand that everything that goes into the mouth passes into the stomach and is eliminated?
But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and those defile the man.
For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, sexual impurity, thefts, lies, slanders.
These are the things that defile the man.

7 Checkpoints: Moral Boundaries - Thought Life (part 2)

2007-03-03T16:45:00.000-08:00

Philippians 4:8
…Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let you mind dwell on these things.

Who knows what B.O. is? B.O. is short for body odor. It is a smell that typically originates in the underarms of a person. It doesn’t have to be smelly armpits to be B.O. It can be a smelly bottom that wasn’t properly cared for.

I want to tell you about 2 people and 1 situation.
1) Smelly Steve. I felt really bad for Steve. I think that he was a Senior when I was a Freshman. He smelled. He never really did his hair. People at school would make fun of him to the point that he had a nickname. Apparently, Steve didn’t mind the smell.
2) Ernst. Ernst was an older man that I worked with a couple of years ago. He would come into work and some days when he would walk by me I would have to hold my breath, and sometimes go to an entirely different area to get away from the smell. Apparently, Ernst didn’t mind the smell.

They must have smelled it, right? How could it be that I would almost gag when he walked by, but He was able to live with the smell all day long? His wife lived with the smell? How? What could be done about that odor?

1) The situation: I was in 6th grade. It was time to go to lunch. Apparently, the teacher smelled or heard something? I still don’t know what exactly happened. Mr. Slaughtervick would not allow us to leave the classroom until someone admitted to creating the smell that he smelled. I really had to go to the bathroom. So I raised my hand? (I had no idea what was going on). He said, “John, are you the one who’s smelling up this room?” I said, “No. I put on my deoderant this morning.” He said,”Most people don’t put deoderant on down there.” I was completely embarrassed, and then he let me go to the bathroom. I don’t think he did ever find out who smelled up the room.

Could I have 2 volunteers:
Walk by me and pretend that I smell and show us how you would react….

Sometimes the things that we think about are nasty. They smell really bad. This talk is about establishing boundaries on what you think about, on what you allow your mind to dwell on. There are certain things that impact what we think about.
Music
TV
DJ’s
Friends
Magazines
Pictures
The Bible is saying that we need to be intentional about what we think about.

7 Checkpoints: Moral Boundaries - Thought Life (part 1)

2007-03-03T16:42:00.000-08:00

Checkpoint #3 – Moral Boundaries
Principle – Purity paves the way to Intimacy
Critical Question – Are you establishing and maintaining godly moral boundaries?
Key passage – 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8
It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you His Holy Spirit.

1 Corinthians 6:18
Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.

Genesis 2:21-24
So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, for she was taken out of man.” For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

Proverbs 28:26
He who trusts himself is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom is kept safe

Ephesians 5:15
Be very careful, then, how you live, not as unwise but as wise

Matthew 7:24-27
Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.

Proverbs 4:23
Put away perversity from your mouth; keep corrupt talk far from your lips

Psalm 119:9-10
How shall a young man keep his way pure? By living according to Your word. I seek You with all of my heart do not let me stray from Your commands.

Sarah and Gretchen were supposed to go to the movies last night, and Gretchen had promised her that she would go with her when she had finished her homework. Gretchen finished up her geometry and was on the way out the door, when her mom stopped her to ask her about the school dance that was coming up in two weeks. Gretchen had told Mike that she would go with him to the school dance. (Enter Mike – Mike was the most popular guy in school. He had it all together; fast car, nice hair, perfect tan, proportionately muscular). Most of the girls at school were hoping that he would ask them out. Unfortunately for the other girls, Mike didn’t. He asked Gretchen. The problem was that her mom had never met Mike or his parents, and that was a big ‘no-no’. So the conversation went like this:

MOM: Are you going with Billy to the dance? I like Billy. He’s a good boy. You should bring him around more often.

GRETCHEN: No. I’m not going with Billy. I’m going with Mike.

MOM: Wait a minute. Who’s Mike? I don’t think I know Mike? Have I ever met Mike?

GRETCHEN: No. You haven’t, but you can trust me. He’s a “good boy”, too. He asked me last week, and I couldn’t say no. He’s the hottest guy in school. Besides, it’s not like we’re getting married or anything. We’re just going to a stupid dance. What’s the big deal?

MOM: The big deal is that you and I had an agreement. You wouldn’t go out with any guys unless I have met him and his parents. That’s important to me.

GRETCHEN: So I guess my life and what I want doesn’t count then does it? Why do you have to make my life so difficult? I’m going to the dance with Mike whether you like it or not.

MOM: No you aren’t. If that’s your attitude, then you’re not going at all. You can stay home, and if Mike still wants to be with you, then he can come over here for dinner. I will not tolerate that tone of voice, either. It’s disrespectful and inappropriate. So, you can call your friend, Sarah, and let her know that she will be on her own tonight.

Gretchen looked at her mom, and thought to herself, “I hate you.”

How many of you have ever had a situation like that in your house? How many of you have ever thought something like that about your mom or dad?

It had been raining for hours, and my brother and I were working with my grandfather one summer in Florida. We were laying grass around a pond on his property. One section of grass weighs about 5lbs. I loaded my wheelbarrow up to the point that my wheel went flat. I picked up the handles and began to push the wheelbarrow around the pond through the mud. I got about 50ft, and I was in pain. I had messed up my back (14 yrs old and I had a bad back already). I spent the rest of the summer laying on my back with hot pads and soaking in the bathtub. Meanwhile, my brother continued working for my grandpa throughout the rest of the summer. When we got back to my home in Michigan, my grandpa paid us for the work that we had done. He gave my brother $1000 and he gave me $500. I took it and said, “Thanks”, but inside I was a little ball of rage just waiting to explode. I got up to my room as fast as I could, and I let loose (quietly). I can tell you that loosing it quietly looks ridiculous. Loosing it loudly looks equally ridiculous. I was so mad that tears were coming down my face. It wasn’t fair. You’re my grandpa, how can you give him twice as much as me? In that moment, I hated him for it.

I don’t think that he ever knew about it, but I sure did. Guess who else did? God did. God saw everything that I was doing “quietly”. He heard every thought that I was thinking.

Our thoughts are so hugely important to God. What you think about is just as important as what you actually say and do. We fantasize about different things. We create alternate realities that we can escape to when real life feels like it’s getting too tough.

Psalm 94:11 says “The Lord knows the thoughts of man”

Matthew 15:17-20
Do you not understand that everything that goes into the mouth passes into the stomach and is eliminated?
But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and those defile the man.
For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, sexual impurity, thefts, lies, slanders.
These are the things that defile the man.

Last year when we talked about having moral boundaries, we focused on your relationships with the opposite sex. What are you going to do when he or she wants a kiss, how about when they want a little bit more? How about when you want a little bit more? Have you established boundaries to help you remain pure? That was mainly focused on staying pure physically. These next few weeks we are going to discover what it means to establish moral boundaries in your thought life. We’ll talk about that secret place in your head that no one else knows about, only you and God. Sometimes we think about things and dwell on things that mess up our mind so bad. I think that this is going to be an extremely important discussion for you to be a part of. You never know what you might take away. It may just change your life.
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Breakout Session Guide -
Have you ever experienced “hate” thoughts toward anybody? What was the situation that led up to that?

Have you ever done anything wrong that noone else knew about, only you? What could have the consequences have been? Is it possible that anyone was hurt by what you did? Are our thoughts that no one knows about have the ability to cause damage even if no one knows about them?
Bad thoughts towards others act as a barrier to a relationship with that other person. They also cause stress for you. Not to mention that we are told to ‘love others’.

What are some ‘secret thoughts’ that teens have that may not be considered good thoughts?

What does your thought life have to do with moral boundaries?

7 Checkpoints: Moral Boundaries - Sex

2007-03-03T16:37:00.000-08:00

Sex is a very good thing. God created sex. Sex was God’s idea. Where do we find out about sex?

Radio Personalities
Magazines
Porn sites
Movies
TV
Friends
Sex Education

Most of you by now think you know a little bit about sex.

Sex can be unbelievably fulfilling (and fun) – (ppt.party favors). Or sex can leave a person feeling used and empty (ppt.flat tire/dirty diaper). Which one do you suppose that God intended?

Where do babies come from (don’t say ‘test tubes’)? Babies come from a man and a woman having sex. I know this is gross, but you wouldn’t be here if your mom and dad didn’t have sex. (mom fade in/dad fade in/baby fade in)

But, God intended sex to be amazing. It is probably the greatest most fulfilling thing that you will ever do.

I want to tell you a story about a dad and his three sons. Their mom was away visiting their sister at college. One night the dad and the boys were all sitting in the living room and talking about mom. Dad made some brownies. The boys loved Dad’s brownies. They were always perfect. They melted in your mouth. The boys couldn’t wait to dig in to the brownies. The dad had something else on his mind, though. His oldest boy had a girlfriend and his other two were reaching that age. It was time for the ‘sex talk’. The boys knew that mom and dad had a great relationship. They were comfortable with eachother. They obviously loved eachother. So their dad simply told them this, “If you want to have as good a relationship with your wife as your mother and I have, then you will wait until you are married to experience sex. Now how about those brownies.” Then he said, “Before you eat them, I need to confess something. When I was mixing the brownies, I carried the bowl outside while I went to get the mail. I tripped and dropped the brownie mix in a fresh pile of doggie doo. But don’t worry, I think I got most of it out.” One by one the boys scooted away from the brownies. Then the dad said, “If you mix your brownie mix with doggy doo, no matter how much, it just won’t be the same as what your mom and I have.”

God designed sex to be an amazing thing for a husband and a wife to experience together for the first time. So why wait? One word – Intimacy (ppt.Intimacy)
Intimacy is the joy of knowing someone completely and being known by that person with no fear of rejection. You don’t have to think about, “what happens in the morning?” If I let this guy touch me, then …

How do I get intimacy? One word – Purity (ppt.Purity)
Maximum purity = Maximum intimacy (ppt.)
Impurity erodes your capacity to experience intimacy, and because of that it

Maximum purity = Maximum intimacy = Maximum sexual satisfaction
Maximum impurity = Minimum intimacy = Minimum sexual satisfaction

Purity paves the way for intimacy

Girls: You don’t really want sex. What you want is intimacy. You want to meet a guy, fall in love, and know that you can trust that person completely. You want to share everything there is to know about you without fear of betrayal or rejection. You want to know that person fully and be fully known. What you are after is intimacy, not sex!

Sex is not just physical; it is relational.

Read Genesis …

When Adam and Eve had sex, they didn’t just ‘have sex’. They became one flesh. There is something mysterious and spiritual about that experience. It’s not something you have any control over. The Bible says, “Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body?”
It is impossible to simply have sex.

When you participate in sex outside of marriage, you forfeit the opportunity to become uniquely one with your future husband or wife.

With every sexual encounter, you decrease the significance of sex with your future partner.

God is not against sex. He created it. He is not against teenagers. He created you, too. God isn’t against you having sex. He just wants you to wait for marriage.
---------------------------------------------------------
Breakout Session Guide D.L. stands for Discussion Leader -
When you hear the word “sex”, what do you think of?
DL notes: This is kind of a broad question. When should it happen? When does it happen? Why does it happen?

What are you feeling right now (are you grossed out, are you excited, is it something that you look forward to or is it something that you are afraid of)?
DL notes: Don’t let them get hung up on this one for too long, but you are looking for what their perspective is right now on sex.

How many of you have had conversations with your parents or friends about sex?
DL notes: If the answer is yes, then what did they say (Parents and Friends both). If the answer is no, then why not?

Where do you get your information about what sex is about? (TV, movies, friends, magazines)
DL notes: Try and find out what their impression of sex is from what they hear and observe from these resources.

What do you think sex is about?
DL notes: Another way to ask this question would be: Why have sex? What is so great about sex?

7 Checkpoints: Moral Boundaries - So Who's Right, Anyways?

2007-03-03T16:34:00.000-08:00

What is truth?

If you step out of a plane, what direction will you go (up or down)?
Isaac Newton got hit on the head with an apple and discovered the law of gravity which will pull your body down towards the earth.

If I were to hold you by the hands and twirl you around, what would happen if I let go? Would you continue to go around in circles or would you go in a straight line?
The law of centripetal force would force your body to go in a straight line.

If I were to buy a loaf of bread, and let it sit out for a month would you eat it?
The 3rd law of Thermo Dynamics says that everything deteriorates as it ages.

Would you agree with this statement:
What is right for one person in any given situation might not be right for another person? Just because something is wrong for you, doesn’t mean it’s wrong for me.

Do you know anyone who is color blind?
Both of my brothers-in-law are color blind. There are two colors that look the same to him. He sees red and orange as the same, and he sees brown and green as the same.

What color is this (PPT)?

Would I be correct in saying that he is wrong when he calls green, brown or when he calls red, orange?

How about when we are playing a game that requires you to know the difference between the two? In Phase 10, the cards are green, yellow, red, and orange. You have to create a hand of 7 cards of one color. If he lays out 4 red and 3 orange, then would I be correct in telling him that he is wrong? Or, should I let him win?

So what I’m hearing is that there is such a thing as right and wrong? Under no circumstance is brown, green or red, yellow. Bread will always get moldy, you will always fall down.

So then what you are saying is that there is absolute truth. It doesn’t matter what you believe to be true. What matters is what is true. What do you think?

What kind of instrument is in that case. (guitar)
What does it look like? Describe it.
What color is it? How many sound holes does it have? How many strings does it have? What color are the strings?

Let’s see if you are right –

Let’s sing God Bless the USA (SHA)

After hearing all of this, how many of you would be willing to say that there is a such thing as right and wrong? You may think that to be a trick question, because what I am really getting at is making choices.

How about Hitler? Was what Hitler did wrong? How about Saddam Hussein? How about Ossama Bin Laden?

Why?

When Jesus was asked, “What is the greatest commandment?”
He answered
Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. And the second is like it – Love your neighbor as yourself

These men devalued Human Life. Jesus said, “Love your neighbor as yourself” The Old Testament says, “Do not commit murder” God created life and then told us what to do with it, and what not to do with it. That is why what they did was wrong.

Everything else is a consequence of the choices they made. The result is not what makes something right or wrong.

You have to make decisions all the time. You have to make decisions about drugs whether is pot, vicatin, ridlin, cocaine, extasy, or beer. Someone will ask you if you want some, and you will have to make a decision. You will have to make decisions about sex and about touching. Whether it’s holding hands, kissing, petting, or sex. You will be in the moment when you will want to, and you will have to make a decision.

The first verse that I ever learned was Psalm 119:9
How will a young man keep his way pure? By keeping it according to your word.

You have to set up limits. You need to know now what you will do. The best place to start to make those decisions is right here (the Bible).

Here’s what the Bible says
I warn you that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.
Against such things, there is no law

You have to make a decision. What do you want your life to look like?

7 Checkpoints: Moral Boundaries - Physical Intimacy Questions

2007-03-03T16:32:00.000-08:00

***What do you think***
Is physical intimacy ever ok?

When would physical intimacy not be ok?

How far is too far?

How far do you think you would go?

What is intimacy?

What is purity?

Is purity important (why or why not)?

7 Checkpoints: Spiritual Disciplines - Talking to the Big Guy

2007-03-03T16:27:00.000-08:00

II. Skits: 3 groups
Here are the situations:
1. Your cat or dog comes hobbling home after being run over by a car. It’s still alive, but barely.
2. Your relative, who you are very close with, dies suddenly.
3. You are about to take the test that determines whether or not you get to go on to the next grade with all of your friends.

Here are your instructions:
As a group, figure out the story background.
Scene 1: You are going to act out the moment you find out. (You and whoever)
Scene 2: You are going to act out a prayer. (You and God)
Scene 3: You are going to act out a conversation with your best friend. (You and best friend)

III. The cat story – I would never do that again

IV. Bop
Like most people, I have two Grandpas. How many of you have special names for your Grandparents? We called my dad’s parents, Nana and Bop. My senior year of high school Bop died. I was competing in the regional track meet, and had just run the fastest 800 meters that I had ever run (1:56 for those who are curious). I came in 3rd place which qualified me to run in the State track meet. I was in a great mood. Typically, after a large track meet like that, I would go over to my girlfriend’s house to say, “Hi” before I went home. Her dad met me at the door, and said, “I’m sorry”. I thought, “Are you nuts, I just ran the best race of my life today.” That’s when he realized that I didn’t know. He said, “Your grandpa passed away today.” I got in my car, and drove home. I don’t remember talking to anyone about it. I didn’t cry once. Almost one month later, I was sitting at the kitchen table with a friend, and the thought of Bop crossed my mind, and I bawled my eyes out. My friend was there for me during that time. We talked about it a little bit, but guess who I wanted to talk to -
I talked to God about it. I asked Him why, and then I just cried. My Bop’s death wasn’t a surprise to God, but it was Bop’s time, and God knew that it would hurt me. It’s like when your mom or dad would take you in for your shot as a baby, and they knew that it would hurt and that you would cry. When it was all over, they pick you up and hold you close and comfort you.

When I have questions, or I just need to vent, cry, yell, or just talk about something.
I don’t have to talk to anyone else, except for God. There is one mediator between God and man, Jesus. And guess who Jesus is, He’s God. I can talk directly to Him, the creator of this world, the creator of me, my Savior. My relationship with God is so much a part of my life, that you will know that after knowing me for a little while. I talk about Him. He’s so much a part of my life, that when I talk about my life with someone, eventually, we’ll be talking about God.

God is the creator of everything you see, and He lets me talk to Him whenever I want and about whatever I want. He not only lets me talk to Him, He wants me to talk to Him.

Prayer is talking with God just like you talk to your best friend about stuff. Do you have a relationship with Jesus (God)? It’s hard to talk to someone when you don’t have a relationship with them. Someone asked me last week, if I would talk about how to begin a relationship with Jesus.

Romans 3:23 says – For all have sinned and continue to fall short of the glory of God.
That means that, You aren’t perfect. I’m not perfect. God is perfect, and He requires perfection from us. Be holy for I am holy.

Romans 6:23 says – …The wages of sin is death, an eternal separation from God
Outside of perfection, it is impossible to have a relationship with Him, impossible for us.
Romans 6:23 continues – But the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ.

We are saved from death to life, an eternal relationship with Jesus, based on the merit of Jesus Christ alone.

God came to Earth in the form of a man, Jesus (Christmas). He lived a perfect life. He was put to death and paid the price for our sins (Good Friday). He was buried and then He rose again (Easter).

You don’t get to Heaven based on any good thing that you’ve done or will do. The price has been paid in full by Jesus. It’s a gift that God offers to you. All you have to do is take it. You put your faith and trust in Jesus alone.

Admit that you are a sinner – you do wrong things – you aren’t perfect.
Believe that Jesus is God, and that he paid the price for your sin.
Begin your relationship with God by
Accepting the gift as payment for your sins.

Ephesians 2:8,9
It is by grace that you are saved, and not of works that no one should boast.

You can do all that just by talking to God.
Repeat after me (you can do it out load or silently)
I admit that I’m a sinner, and because of that I can’t get into Heaven or have a relationship with. I believe that Jesus is God, and that He paid the price for my sin. I accept that gift as payment for my sins.
Thank you for saving me from an eternity separated from You.

7 Checkpoints: Spiritual Disciplines - What Will You Do? How Will You Know?

2007-03-03T16:24:00.001-08:00

Spiritual Disciplines (Part 2) – What will you do? How will you Know?

Here’s a true story: (Read the story from the 7 Checkpoints pg 62,63)

You guys have the biggest decisions of life ahead of you.
Who will I marry?
Where will I work?
How will I fit into society?

You also have BIG decisions right now.
Should I obey my parent’s curfew?
Mom and dad won’t mind if I’m a few minutes late.
I’m old enough to be out past 10:00.
Which friends will I hang out with this weekend?
This friend is boring, but safe.
This friend is fun, but dangerous.
What do I want my life to be like?
What will I do if someone offers me drugs at the party?
I see other people here doing it.
I’m young, shouldn’t I experiment a little.
I didn’t know that he did drugs; they must be okay then.
What will happen if my date pressures me for sex?
If I don’t do it, then he’ll think I’m a goody-two-shoes
He wouldn’t ask me if he didn’t love me

If you can begin now to see the way that God sees, then you will be more inclined to do what He says in these decisive moments.

Ace Ventura, Pet Detective. He’s looking for a dolphin, and he comes out of the room waving his hand behind him, saying, “Do Not Go In There”

There is a movie called, Cape Fear. The movie is about a judge and his family being stalked and killed by a man that he had put in jail. Naturally, the guy is a psycho. I remember watching this movie. I was at a friends house and it was dark outside. After watching the movie, I was looking in my back seat the whole way home. When I got home I locked the door, turned off my bedroom light and jumped into my bed where I would be safe, sort of, except for the shadows in the room. That was a disturbing movie. This guy was showing up in all of those placed that you think someone might be when you are scared. You see a quick glimpse of him in the yard. You see his face in the window. You see him in the back seat of the family’s car. You see him in the kitchen. You see him underneath the car. But you know who doesn’t see him there? The family in the movie doesn’t. Every time, he kills someone. I see him in the kitchen, and the maid is going to the kitchen so what do you thinking I’m saying, “Don’t go in there” – In the car “Don’t go in there” I want the family to be able to see what I see so that they won’t get hurt, because I know what’s coming. If they saw the way that I saw, then they would stay out of the kitchen.

That’s just a movie, but this is real life. God sees my life and he knows what’s coming, and it’s as if He’s saying, “Don’t go in there”. If I was seeing the situation the way that He is, then I wouldn’t. But I don’t see the way He sees, and so I do. It results in hurt, shame, broken relationships, broken hearts, and sometimes broken bodies.

A friend of mine from Chicago (he was in Junior High). He got mixed up in a gang. Eventually, he realized that the lifestyle he was living was destroying him and his relationships with his family. The only way that he could get out of that situation was to get violated out (that means that you roll the dice, and what ever number comes up is the number of guys that get to beat you for 30 seconds). He chose to stay in the gang. Today, his life has been torn apart. Jesus said, I have come that you might have life, and that you might have it abundantly. Marcello doesn’t have an abundant life, because He chose to see his own way, and not how God sees. He has a life that is surrounded by drugs, by hurt, by pain, because he didn’t want to take a 30 second beating. Who do you hang out with? What does your life look like?

What do you spend your day thinking about? What do you spend your time doing? When you die, how will you be remembered? Will you be a really fun person, or will you be a really fun person who changed his world?

God gave us His word, The Bible, so that we would be able to know what the right way is.

2 Timothy 3:16
All Scripture is God breathed, and is profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness.

The Bible is literally, the Word of God. They are His words. In order to know what He has to say, you have to read it. (If you don’t have a Bible at home, then take one of ours as a gift to you)

God also gave us Himself. He gives each one of us the opportunity to have a relationship with Him. Jesus said, I have come so that you would have life, and that you would have it abundantly. You can’t have that outside of a relationship with him. No matter how hard you try you will never know life the way it could be without Him in it.

If you don’t have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, then don’t let another day go by without it. That’s the first step to having an abundant life. Stop one of us leaders and talk to us, we would love to introduce you to Jesus. The biggest decision that you will ever make is, “What did you do with Christ?”

7 Checkpoints: Spiritual Disciplines - Perception is Not Reality

2007-03-03T16:22:00.000-08:00

Principle: When you see as God sees, you will do as God says

Critical Question: Are you developing a consistent devotional and prayer life

Key Passage: Romans 12:2
§ And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect. (NASB)

§ Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – His good, pleasing, and perfect will. (NIV)

§ Don’t become like the people of this world. Instead, change the way you think. Then you will always be able to determine what God really wants – what is good, pleasing, and perfect. (God’s Word for Students)

§ Don’t copy the behaviors and customs of this world, but be a new and different person with a fresh newness in all you do and think. Then you will learn from your own experience how His ways will really satisfy you. (TLB)

There were two boys who were walking down an old dirt road. It was a hot day. They had just come from Mrs. Smith’s bakery in town. One boy bought a slice of apple pie. The other boy just wanted an apple. Mrs. Smith had a tradition of always giving an apple to anyone who would buy a piece of pie. This was an excellent deal. While they were walking, the boy with the apple pulled it out of his pocket, and was just about to take a bite out of the apple when he noticed something that just wasn’t right. There were two little eyes staring up at him. They were attached to a long, thin, slimy, brown body that had buried itself inside the apple. It was a worm. Now the boy had a decision to make. The worm didn’t look like it would taste all that great even though he has seen people eat worms before. His friend saw the worm in the apple and immediately threw his piece of pie out.

Years ago, Columbus was going to sail around the world and end up in the Indian Islands. They knew that it was way too dangerous to go down around the bottom of Africa, because more than likely their ships would be destroyed going around Cape Hope. They had seen it happen and they needed a safer way to go. Somehow, Columbus found out that the world was round. He believed it enough that he put his own life and the lives of many other men on the line. The perspective or belief up to that point was that you could only sail so far, and then you would fall off the edge of the world. Columbus’ perspective was right on. However, when they landed, they thought that they had landed in the West Indies. So, when Columbus saw the people where he landed, he called them Indians. It didn’t matter how much Columbus wanted to believe that he had landed in the Indian Islands. He was wrong. His perception was wrong. Because of that, this place is called America, named after Amerigo Vespucci. He wasn’t the first to come to America. He was the first to realize that he wasn’t in the Indian Islands.

That’s all nice, but what does that have to do with Real Life? How fast does a plane fly? ___________________It doesn’t look like it’s moving that fast. Are you sure? How do you know?

If someone didn’t believe that gravity was real, how long do you think it would take them to change the way they think if you pushed them out of an airplane going 180 mph?

Why did the boy throw his apple pie away without eating it? He figured that if there was a worm in his friend’s apple, then there was probably a worm in one of the apples used to make his apple pie. Chances are that the apple pie was not worm infested, but the boy didn’t want to take that chance.

Perception is not reality. Reality is reality. There is only one perspective that actually is reality, and that is God’s perspective. Why? Because he is the only one who knows what’s going on. Several years ago, I opened up my Bible to Genesis chapter one (31 verses). That’s the place where it talks about God creating everything. I went on to circle every time that it said someone did something. Every time the someone that did something was God. Do you know why? It’s because, there was no one else there. If you made a potato gun, and I walked over and said, “Oh, what’s down there and looked down the barrel”. You would say, “Don’t put your head in front of the barrel. You are going to get hurt.” What would you do if you saw your baby sister or brother looking down the barrel of a real gun? You would yell, “No!!!!” You would want to protect them, but they don’t know any better. You weren’t the creator of the gun, but you know how it works and you know what it will do.

How many of you have seen the Lethal Weapon movies? In the first movie, Mel Gibson and Danny Glover are called to a scene where a man is standing on the edge of a roof. When you look at the scene, there are several police cars, rescue vehicles, and a lot of people trying to convince this one man that jumping to his death is not a good idea.

Genesis 1:1 – In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth…
Look at all of these times that it says in 31 short verses that God did something.

God created this place. You walk outside, and you are looking at what God did. The world and everything in it are his. He knows the right way to use the things in this world.

Let’s make it a little more personal

God created you.

Romans 12:2
Don’t be conformed to the way that this world thinks. Instead, have your life changed by renewing your mind.

We need to have the right view of life. Our view of life almost never equals reality.

We were in Tennessee, and a man came up to me, and said, “Are you a celebrity? I swear I saw you on T.V. last night. What’s your name? “John”. “No, that’s not it. Man, I can’t think of it.” He got in his car and left. Later, I was imagining what this guy went home to tell his family and friends. “You guys won’t believe who I saw tonight…”

I don’t imagine any of us are going to be jumping out of planes without parachutes from thousands of feet in the air. I imagine that we all know the dangers of staring down the barrel of a gun.

However, most of you will be asked at some time to smoke some pot, maybe take a line of cocaine, or maybe pop some vicatin pills, have some alcohol. Some of you already have been. Maybe some of you are the ones doing the asking. Some of you will enter into or are already in sexual relationships.

I see you looking down the barrel of a loaded gun, and I want to scream, “No!!!!” But in the end, the choice is up to you. Why? Because, “MY JOURNEY IS MY JOURNEY” (ppt)

Do you know why you are here? Do you know why God created you? What is your purpose? Is your life as exciting and full as it could be? Does your life consist of doing homework, going in and out of relationships, playing PS2 or XBOX or going skateboarding or snowboarding. What is your life all about? If that’s the way that that you spend all of your time, then you are having fun, but you are missing out on what your life could be like. I get a rush of overwhelming emotion when I see someone’s take the next step on their spiritual journey. That’s something you could never get from living a life with no real purpose.

What do you spend your day thinking about? What do you spend your time doing? When you die, how will you be remembered? Will you be a really fun person, or will you be a really fun person who changed his world?

God gave us His word, The Bible, so that we would be able to know what the right way is. God also gave us Himself. He gives each one of us the opportunity to have a relationship with Him. Jesus said, I have come so that you would have life, and that you would have it abundantly. You can’t have that outside of a relationship with him. No matter how hard you try you will never know life the way it could be without Him in it.

7 Checkpoints: Authentic Faith - Trusting God

2007-03-03T16:20:00.000-08:00

When we break up into our Breakout Sessions tonight, we are going to do a few things:
1) Define the word “Trust”
2) Talk about why you might trust someone or why you might not trust someone
3) Give some examples of trusting and not-so-trusting relationships in your life
4) Talk about what it takes to be a person who can be trusted

Read the Authentic Faith Dilemma on pages 12 & 13
Jared
Lauren

It is so important that we all have a correct understanding of what faith, authentic (real) faith, is. Confusion in this one area is the primary reason teens abandon their faith in God.

I led the discussion in church this past Sunday, basically doing the same thing that I’m doing right now with you, except it was adults. I told a little story. I want to tell it to you now.

The toothpick…. I can’t tell you how important and vital it is to your life that you get it now (not the toothpick, but the principles that we are talking about here at The Grip). It’s a much harder road if you wait to get it later. However, I am confident that at some point in your life, you will get it….

Why do you trust someone?
How do you develop trust for someone?
Do you just trust people blindly? Is that really trust or is that being naïve?
Do you hope for the best and expect the worst? That would be an interesting trusting relationship, always looking over your shoulder for that knife to stab you in the back.
How do you show someone that you trust them?
Can anyone really be trusted?

These are all questions that most of you, on some level, have probably thought about. Maybe you are struggling through this right now in your own life and relationships that you have that should have been trusting, but you have been let down.

Do you trust me? I can ask you that question and you can say, “Yes”. But do you really trust me? Maybe it depends on what you are trusting me for.

Let me tell you a story about a friend of mine named Doug. He and I didn’t go to the same school, but we went to the same church. That’s how we knew eachother. He always bragged about his girlfriend that none of us (us being all of his friends) had ever met. So finally, proof was required of this supposedly really pretty girl that Doug was dating. So Doug pulled out a picture from his wallet. Later he said they broke up, but he had a new girlfriend. Again, none of us knew her. Eventually, he showed us a picture in his wallet. He was right, she was pretty and we didn’t know her. But he was wrong about one very important thing. Somehow the truth got out, Doug’s mystery girl was not his girlfriend, but his cousin. She was pretty, and Doug thought he would impress us, but then when the truth was known it didn’t look so impressive after all.

How do you know when someone is speaking the truth? How do you know whether or not you can believe what other people say?

Sometimes people promise great things, and never follow through. Other times people try to be as bad as they possibly can even though aren’t. For some reason they think that people will be impressed with how “rebellious” they are. It’s so hard to trust what people say as being the truth sometimes.

7 Checkpoints: Authentic Faith - Grace

2007-03-03T16:18:00.000-08:00

Billy and Tim were walking to school on Monday morning. The weekend had been pretty rough for both of them. There was a girl in their school named Mary. Tim was crazy about Mary. When Tim and Billy would get together to hang out, the topic of Mary always came up. Billy knew that Tim liked her a lot. He also knew that Mary didn’t really like him. He knew that nothing was ever going to happen between Tim and Mary. Billy was convinced that Tim wasn’t Mary’s type. However, he was also convinced that he was Mary’s type. So on Friday, Billy called her up to ask her out.

Billy and Tim were best friends. Back in 3rd grade Tim and Billy made a pact with each other that nothing would ever come between them. No matter what ever happened in their lives, they would always be best friends.

Billy picked up Mary on Saturday night around 5. They went out to Chuck-e-cheese and got some pizza and played some of the games that were there. Billy won a ton of tickets and went to the counter and got Mary a fake flower. Mary thought that the gesture was nice. Later around 7:30, Billy and Mary went to the mini golf course. What Billy didn’t realize was that this Saturday night was Tim’s night to do something with his dad, just the two of them. And guess what they were going to do. (Mini Golf). Tim and his dad pulled into the parking lot around 8 and then Tim saw Billy with Mary half way through the 4th hole. All of a sudden Tim felt sick to his stomach. He told his dad that he didn’t feel well and just wanted to go home. So they did. His dad asked him what was wrong, but he didn’t want to talk about it.

On Monday morning, Tim didn’t meet Billy at his house, and Billy walked to school alone. Tim would never speak to Billy again. Billy had destroyed their relationship because of the decision that he made.

A true faith is having confidence that God is who He says He is, and that He will do what He says He will do.

What does that have to do with that story?
What did Billy and Tim promise each other when they were in 3rd grade?

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding, but in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.

Who knows what a covenant is?

Back in the Old Testament, there was a man named Abraham. They had a custom back in those days. They didn’t have contracts where you would sign on the dotted line. You could shake hands, but when there was an intense contract to be made they did something a little bit different. They would sacrifice an animal by cutting it in half. They would place the half of the animal on one side and the other half on the other side. Then at the same time the two men would walk between the animal halves. That contract was sealed in blood, and if one man broke his part of the bargain, then the deal was off.

God came to Abraham and made a covenant with Him. He told Abraham that his descendants would be as numerous as the stars, and that He would preserve His people no matter what. Then it came time to walk through the animals. God caused Abraham to not be able to walk through the animals, and God walked through them himself. That meant that the only one who could break that promise was God. That promise was unconditional. God would never break that promise. As you read the stories in the Old Testament you see that God never has broken that promise. Abraham’s people have given God plenty of reasons to break the promise, but He never has.

God made a promise to you and to me in John 3:16 – Because God loved the world so much, He gave his only begotten Son that whoever believes in Him will not perish, but will have eternal life.

Then Jesus died and shed His blood to pay the price for my sins and for your sins.

I am so glad that God keeps His promises. I am so glad that God loves me unconditionally. The Bible says that absolutely nothing will ever separate me from the love of God. It says that even though I am faithless, He remains faithful.

Have you ever done something that you were afraid to tell you mom or dad? Maybe you did something like Billy and betrayed your best friend. Stuff happens. We make bad decisions all the time. We make decisions that hurt others and sometimes we even hurt ourselves.

I want to tell you about a girl I know. She has a relationship with Jesus. She’s made some really bad choices. God has a huge plan for this girl’s life. He continues to love her. Right now she is tearing His heart apart.

7 Checkpoints: Authentic Faith - What is Faith?

2007-03-03T16:16:00.000-08:00

Talking about “What is Faith?” What do you want to get out of a discussion on Faith?

When I say “Faith” what do you think of?

Faith is all over our lives.
Is Johnsburg High School going to take the state football championship this year?
Is Richmond Burton going to take the state football championship this year?

George Michael – “You got to have faith, faith, faith”

Group everyone in groups of 4:
What are some other examples of places that we are told that we have to have faith?

So then what is faith? (In groups of 4, come up with a definition or description of what faith is. Then show us what you mean by acting it out in a 30-45 second everyday life skit.)

After each one we’ll talk about what your group came up with.

By the time we are done with this series, you will be shown that “God can be trusted; He will do all that He has promised to do.” You will be faced with the question, “Am I trusting God with the critical areas of my life?”

Object – Teens will understand that Authentic Faith is not rooted in circumstances

People have faith in all kinds of things. People exercise faith throughout their day without even realizing it. We live our entire lives based on faith. (5 things)

1 – You got out of bed this morning and put your feet on what? (A floor)
2 – You stood at a bus-stop and then got on a what? (A bus) Let’s talk about the bus a little bit. How did you know that it would be there to pick you up? How did you know that it would stop in front of you and not roll over you? (Do you stand by the curb or do you stand away? Do you take a step back or do you take a step forward?)

When you have faith in something, you are saying I trust this. I believe that it will do what it claims that it will do?

I never thought that I would be too fat to buy a ladder, but I am.
200 lb limit
I believe that if I get on that ladder and carry something, it’s going to break. I believe it enough to not buy it.

What determines what I believe about God and about this life?
If we were honest, then most of us would say that what I experience in my life determines what I believe. The circumstances that I’m in everyday tell me whether or not God is real and whether or not He loves me or cares for me.

A girl whose father beats her or molests her hears that God is our “Father”. So she believes that God is a jerk and doesn’t care about her, because either He’s just like her dad or he doesn’t care enough to do anything about it.

A boy prays and prays for God to help him pass a test – but he fails. That must mean that God doesn’t answer prayer or maybe God is punishing him. His faith in God is shattered by her interpretation of the circumstances around him.

Faith based on circumstance is fragile, because it is rooted in the present.

How many of you like needles?
A four year old is carried by his dad into the Dr’s office after cutting his hand open on a piece of sharp metal. The doctor pulls out a huge needle to give the child a tetanus shot. Does his father love him? (answer) He doesn’t think so.

The reality of how loving or true God is doesn’t hinge on the different events that happen in our lives.
If that little boy were to look back on his life, he would be thankful that his dad brought him to the doctor to get that shot.

Things happen in our lives. We have good days and we have bad days. Basing what we believe about God on the different events doesn’t work, because we misinterpret events. We don’t have enough knowledge to

Who has heard of the phrase, “Hindsight is 20/20”
It means that you had no idea what you were talking about before when you were going through this, but now I can look back and see what actually was going on.

My ‘frame of reference’ just increased.

Here’s the problem: Joseph as a boy, spent 15 years as a slave in Egypt after being sold into slavery by his own brothers. He spent years in prison for a crime that he didn’t commit. Did care about Joseph? (Yes.) His “tragedy” was a part of an incredible plan that God was weaving behind the scenes to save an entire region from famine. Read the rest of the story (Genesis 37-45).

Your lives are always changing. For many teens, their circumstances defines who God is.

How about you? If God doesn’t answer your prayers by next week, will you wonder if He exists? If you don’t see Him working in your situation, will you lose your confidence in Him?
Can your faith be summarized by this statement: “What’s happening now and what I’m feeling now determine what I believe for now”? If so, then you have a faulty understanding of faith (That’s not what faith is.). Are you ready to replace that faulty understanding with an authentic faith?

Lessons in Grace - Sanctified

2007-03-03T16:07:00.000-08:00

Salvation from Death:
Ephesians 2:8,9 – For by grace you have been saved and not of yourselves, that no one should boast.
Justification – A guaranteed inheritance is witnessed to and sealed by the Holy Spirit.
Salvation from Sin:
Salvation from the old nature
Salvation from daily, habitual sins
This salvation is very different than salvation from death: (True / False)
ü Salvation from death requires faith alone in Christ. (TRUE)
ü Salvation from sin requires a combination of faith in Christ, self discipline, and determination. (BOTH)
ü Salvation from death is absent of works. (Works do nothing to gain salvation from death.) (TRUE)
ü Salvation from sin is solely based on works. (FALSE)
James 2:22b – … as a result of the works, faith was perfected.
Philippians 2:12 – … work out your salvation with fear and trembling.
Facts of Life:
ü We are no longer slaves to sin. We are not bound to a life of sin. (TRUE)
ü Any blessings that we can expect to receive from God during our lives on Earth are directly dependent on the morality and/or discipline with which we live. (FALSE)
ü The Bible is full of exhortations to godly living. The result of this godly living is that God will bless you. (FALSE)

That’s not what my Bible teaches. What do you think?
Assignment – Be able to explain why what was said above is false. What is the truth?

Lessons in Grace - Justified

2007-03-03T16:06:00.001-08:00

All have sinned and continue to fall short of the glory of God (God’s standard)
Romans 3:23
For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.
· We are imperfect.
· All of our righteousness is like filthy rags.
Isaiah 64:6
For all of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous deeds are like a filthy garment…
The wages of sin is death. (Eternal separation from God.)
Romans 6:23
For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
We are incapable of going to Heaven on our own.
Galatians 2:16
…a man is not justified by the works of the Law, but through faith in Christ Jesus, even we have believed in Christ Jesus, that we may be justified by faith in Christ, and not by the works of the Law; since by the works of the Law shall no flesh be justified.
The price was paid for everyone.
John 3:14-16
And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so must the Son of Man be lifted up;
that whoever believes may in Him have eternal life.
For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life.
Jesus Christ, being God came to Earth.
Philippians 2:6-8
…although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped,
but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men.
And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.
Lived a sinless life.
Was crucified.
paid the price for our sins
became sin for us
Was buried. (He was dead.)
He rose from the dead. (Victory over death and the grave)
1 Corinthians 15:3,4
For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received, that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures.
and that He was buried, and that he was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures.

The result:
The price has been paid. The wages of sin have been paid.
Romans 3:21-24
But now apart from the Law the righteousness of God has been manifested, being witnessed by the Law and Prophets;
even the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all those who believe; for there is no distinction;
for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,
being justified as a gift by His grace through the redemption which is in Christ Jesus.
We have a way to Heaven, because the price is paid.

Our decision:
Acts 16: 30,31
He then brought them out and asked, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?”
And they said, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you shall be saved, you and your household.
What must I do to be saved?

Knowledge: I have heard the gospel.
Acceptance: I believe that the gospel is true.
Trust: I trust (put my faith in) in Christ’s payment of my sin as sufficient for me to go to Heaven.
Jesus Christ must be the object of our faith and trust.
John 5:24
Truly, Truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life.

The result:
At the moment that you trust in Christ as your Savior, the Holy Spirit comes.
You are sealed.
Ephesians 1:13,14
In Him, you also, after listening to the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation – having also believed, you were sealed in Him with the Holy Spirit of promise;
who is given as a pledge to our inheritance, with a view to the redemption of God’s own possession, to the praise of His glory.
You cannot lose your salvation for any reason. (Faithful while I am faithless)
You are “born again” New creation.
2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore if any man is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.

NO MATTER WHAT. You will be in Heaven with Jesus when you die.
No one can ever look at your life, and tell you that you are not a Christian and be right.The Key: Trust in Christ as your Savior. If you did that, then you are a Christian. If you did not do that, then you are not.

Lessons in Grace - The Holy Spirit

2007-03-03T16:03:00.000-08:00

There was a boy named George who grew up on the south side of Detroit. His family wasn’t well off, but they got by. His dad worked in the Ford Motor plant on an assembly line. His mom spent her days in a “sweat shop” sewing clothes for the Jacqueline Smith K-mart clothesline.
There was another boy named Lance who grew up on the northwest side of Detroit. His family had more than enough to get by. Lance got just about everything that he ever wanted growing up. His dad was a lawyer in a corporate law firm. He was making about $300,000 a year. His mother lived in Orlando, Fla. They split when Lance was 5 years old. Because of his father’s status, Lance lived with him.
Lance and George were friends. They both went to the same school. 10 years ago in Detroit, students didn’t have a choice of high schools. They had to go to whatever school was in their district. George was close enough to the Northwest side that he landed in the Culver High School district. George took public transportation and Lance drove his 5.0 Mustang.
Lance and George were very close. They would share stories about their families and different struggles that they would face. One night on the phone, Lance told George that his dad would beat him sometimes when he came home drunk. Lance would hide his bruises from everybody. He would try to hide his emotional hurt as well. It hurt him bad inside. Lance was hurt and confused. He didn’t understand why his dad would treat him like that. It was a part of his life that he had learned to accept.
Every once in a while, George would spend the day at Lance’s house after school. Even though, Lance’s father was a partner in a law firm and got everything he wanted, he was a prejudice angry man. He didn’t like Lance hanging out with George. He thought that George was taking advantage of Lance’s wealth.
One day, Lance’s father came home from work early and began to beat Lance. George had heard about this but had never seen it happen before. Needless to say, George was frightened. He was angry and wanted to help his friend, but he froze because of his fear.
Lance’s father yelled at George, “Get your white trash off of my property. I never want to see you here again. If I even hear that you were hear; I will bring a lawsuit against Ford Motor Co. that will result in your dad’s losing his job.” George ran. He felt like a coward, but he couldn’t risk his dad’s job.
Lance and George still saw each other at school. They would sit together in the lunchroom. Sometimes they would sneak out of school and go to the mall or the bowling alley. They were still close friends. They loved each other.
One day, Lance’s father beat him too hard. Lance died. The truth of the incident never came out, but George knew what had happened. He stood at a distance at the graveside funeral. He cried some tears, and wiped them away. He had lost his friend. George was never the same. He ate by himself during lunch. He would go home and lock himself in the room everyday. One day, he didn’t come out of the room. He had killed himself, because he was alone.
Do you know what it’s like to be lonely? Do you know what it’s like to be in a crowd of people, and feel alone? Do you know what it means to be a friend to someone who is lonely? Do you know what it takes to be close to someone? Do you know what it means to love?
Bibles open to … David and Jonathon \ Jesus and John \ Jesus and you
Vulnerability – What is this?
Sincerity – What is this?
Connection…

As Christians, we have a relationship with God, with Jesus. People expect that just because we have a relationship with God, everything should be close. Some people, (most people) forget about their relationship with God.
We have the Holy Spirit (God) in our lives. What does that mean? We have power. (Power for what?)
We live in grace. What does that mean? We have an unconditional relationship with God. Nothing that we can ever do or experience can ever separate us from the love of God (neither…). God loves us regardless. (What is our response?) How should we then live?
Live Forgiven (For by grace you have been saved.)
Live Overwhelmed (God’s love compels me.)
Live Empowered (I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.)Live Connected (What can separate us from the love of Christ?)

Lessons in Grace - The Quiz

2007-03-03T16:01:00.000-08:00

Justification is salvation from d________.
Sanctification is salvation from s____.

A judgmentalist believes: As long as your sins are worse than mine, then I’m not so _____.
A legalist believes: God will have to accept me and love me if I ____ all of these things.

Grace is not d__________.
Grace is not e_______.

What is grace? What does it mean to you? How does grace fit into your life?

Do you get it?

What do you think after you sin and know it? What do you feel after you sin and know it? What do you do about it? Why do you do good? How does God feel about you when you sin?

What is the worst thing you have ever done? Did God forgive you for it? When?

What is your personal story about grace? (answer on back)

Lessons in Grace - Live Overwhelmed

2007-03-03T15:58:00.000-08:00

Understand the drive to live godly lives.

What two ways can people be saved?
Grace & Works
What is the truth?
Grace
What two ways can people live their lives?
Grace & Works
What is the difference between the two?
Students answer…
What is the truth?
Grace

You are loved and accepted by God through the merit of Jesus (What does merit mean?), and you are blessed by God through the merit of Jesus (What does merit mean?). Nothing you ever do will cause Him to love you any more or any less. He loves you strictly by His grace given to you through Jesus.

Does this make you a little nervous?
Well, if you take all the pressure off and tell me all of my effort will never earn me one blessing, (Do you really believe that?), then I’m afraid I’ll slack off and stop doing the things I need to do to live a disciplined Christian life. (There are things that we NEED to do to live a DISCIPLINED Christian life.)

The grace of God can be misunderstood and sometimes even abused. How?
Students answer…

Jude 4.
Romans 6:1
Galatians 6:13
Read Romans 5:20.
“But where sin increased, grace increased all the more.”
What did he mean by that?

Paul wrote chapter 6 to answer that question.
Read Romans chapter 6.

Romans 5:2 says “We have gained access by faith into this grace by which we now stand.”
We are not only justified by grace through faith, we stand every day in this grace.
Do people misunderstand justification by grace? How?
Do people misunderstand sanctification by grace? How?
The solution to this problem is not to add legalism to grace, but to be gripped by the magnificence and generosity of God’s grace that we respond out of gratitude rather than a sense of duty.
LIVE OVERWHELMED.

Lessons in Grace - Live Forgiven

2007-03-03T15:54:00.000-08:00

The goal of this lesson will be to introduce the students to the reality of God’s forgiveness.
Teacher’s Note:
At this point the students should begin to have a good understanding of grace. Evaluate the “Grace Quiz.” Determine if moving on to accepting grace is the right move. If necessary take some time to reinforce the previous “Understanding Grace” lessons.

Review the quiz:
Last week we took a quiz on grace. The intent of the quiz was to determine whether or not we get it. Has the light ever come on and we said, “Oh!!!! Now I get it.”

1. Justification is salvation from death.
2. Sanctification is salvation from sin.
3. A judgmentalist believes: As long as your sins are worse than mine, then I’m not so bad.
4. A legalist believes: God will have to accept me and love me if I do all of these things.
5. Grace is not deserved.
6. Grace is not earned.
7. What is grace? What does it mean to you? How does grace fit into your life?
8. Do you get it?
9. What do you think after you sin and know it? What do you feel after you sin and know it? What do you do about it? Why do you do good? How does God feel about you when you sin?
10. What is the worst thing you have ever done? Did God forgive you for it? When?

There were some very honest answers on the quizzes. I really appreciate that. It told me a few things:
v You guys have been listening.
v God is really working inside you. Jesus told His disciples, “The Helper, The Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things….” John 14:26
v We have a good ways to go.

In your honesty, you articulated well what your true feelings are and what your relationship with God looks like.

Some questions that we will be trying to answer in the weeks to come are:
How does grace fit into my life?
When does God forgive me for my daily sins?
How does God feel about me when I sin?
Why do I do good?

Today we will start to look into God’s forgiveness:

The most common “unsolicited” comments in the quiz were:
v “I know that God has forgiven me, but I don’t know if or when I will forgive myself.”
v “I know that God has forgiven me, but I don’t feel forgiven.”
The precept:
God’s forgiveness is not a fairytale. Our relationship with God is not a story from Aesop’s Fables. It is real. We accept that we are sinners. We accept that Christ died for our sins. We believe in the reality of God. (or do we?)

Food for thought:
Is God only a nice thought? Is he only a good idea? Is God no more real than Zeus, Hercules, or Ra (the sun god)? If so, then God is equal to mother goose or Peter Pan. The question begins with: Is God real? I’m not asking if God is real to you. Is God real, period?

Before we discuss God’s forgiveness, let’s see how good we are at making choices.
BOMB SHELTER:
Hand out a different character slip to each student.
Read the list of characters.
The Scenario:
v You are the character on your slip.
v You are all living in South Western Nevada.
v A Nuclear War has erupted in the world.
v There is a bomb shelter underneath the Walgreens.
v You have all shown up.
v There is only room in the shelter for half of you.
v You all want to be in the shelter.
The Object of the Activity:
v As a Group - Decide who gets to go into the shelter and who does not.
v As Individuals – Get yourself into the bomb shelter.
The Guidelines:
v You have 7 minutes.
v You must behave the way your character would behave.

Who did you decide to put in the bomb shelter? Why?
What was it like trying to convince the group that you should go in the shelter?
What made this game easy or difficult?

Read 1 Corinthians 6:9-11.
Or do you not know that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, not adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers shall inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ.”

Who is wicked in God’s eyes? All men. (There is none righteous.)
Who inherits the kingdom of Heaven? How?
Would God have decided to save the people you decided to save? Explain.
How does this game relate to God’s forgiveness?

Sanctified / Justified (Past tense????)Bomb Shelter Character Descriptions

If you have fewer than eighteen, choose the descriptions you like the best (but be sure to include a balance of positive and negative descriptions.) If a description is too sensitive or hits too close to home for some of the participants, don’t use it.
You’re an overachieving high school student. You succeed in everything you do.
You’re a high school student with a GPA of 1.7.
You’re a famous artist.
You’re a criminal. You were convicted of murder, but you’ve changed dramatically since being in prison.
You’re an author.
You’re a gang leader.
You’re a politician.
You’re a musician.
You’re a mom of three kids and president of the PTA.
You’re a high school teacher.
You’re a single dad of two kids.
You’re a prisoner, and you plan to commit more crimes when you get out.
You’re a prostitute.
You’re an atheist.
You’re a promiscuous teenager.
You’re a thief.
You’re an alcoholic.
You’re a successful business person who secretly steals from your company.

Colossians 1:21-22
Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior. But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation.

Free from accusation: Is this how you see yourself, or are you guilty?

Separate the group:
1 Contractor
1 Accountant
3 groups of workers

Scenario –
Group A is sitting at the gas station (morning).
Group B is sitting at the gas station (lunch).
Group C is sitting at the gas station (dinner).
Hire out each group.
Pay them at the end of the day.

Matthew 20:1-16
Parable of the generous landowner

Based on need; not merit.

Philippians - Joy, is it possible?

2007-03-03T15:43:00.000-08:00

Where’s Sally?

Tommy and Jill were walking down the hall at school on Monday. They were both wondering where their friend Sally had been for the past couple of days. It wasn’t like her to not call. She never missed school. They sat in the cafeteria wondering out loud what could be going on with Sally…

Tommy: Maybe she’s got the flu

Jill: That’s possible. It has been going around. My family just got done through with it.

Tommy: I hate the flu. What do you hate worse, the diarrhea or the throwing up?

Jill: Well diarrhea has its benefits – You don’t have to taste it, but sometimes it smells so bad that you think you are tasting it. But diarrhea is also a little more risky… If it hits you at the wrong time, then you could have a real embarrassing mess on your hands.

Tommy: Been there

Jill: How did we get on this topic… this is gross and we’re eating.

Tommy: I think I lost my appetite.

Jill: I hope it isn’t anything serious. Sally’s had a hard enough year already. Her dog got run over by a car. She got the chicken pox on the first day of school. Mrs. Bonham gave her a failing grade last semester in English.

Tommy: It’s as if she has it out for her.

Jill: Ever since she spoke up in class and let everyone know that she was a Christian and believed in Jesus, Mrs. Bonham has been a jerk to her.

Tommy: Did she tell you about the 20page paper that she was writing for biology that got lost when her computer crashed.

Jill: I know… I don’t think I could take anymore. I can’t believe Toby dumped her like that in front of the school, in front of everybody. I thought that he was a nice guy until he did that.

Tommy: What a jerk.

Jill: I seriously don’t know what I would do if I was in her shoes.

SKITS:
Get in groups of five or six (make sure that everyone has a group).

As a group, come up with a difficult or stressful situation that someone may have to face in life.
Act out the situation and how you deal with the situation emotionally… What are you feeling and what are you thinking.

Rules:
Everyone participates (even if you are just a prop)
Have a spokes person to answer questions about your skit when you are done.

Don’t you feel bad for Sally. What a rough year she’s had. Maybe you felt like Jill “I seriously don’t know what I would do if I was in her shoes.” Maybe you thought that Sally’s year was nothing compared to this past year in your life…

2 weeks ago I told you that I wanted to introduce you to a man named Paul.
Paul lived a long time ago, and was responsible for spreading the good news of Jesus Christ to most of the known world and for writing the majority of the New Testament.

In one of his writings, he described a portion of the things that he had been through in his life:
Paul's Hardships
"Five times I received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one (significance of 39). Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was stoned, three times I was shipwrecked, I spent a night and a day in the open sea (that’s a place I wouldn’t want to be), I have been constantly on the move. I have been in danger from rivers, in danger from bandits, in danger from my own countrymen (the time when he was on the other side of the wall, and was lowered out the window in a basket), in danger from Gentiles; in danger in the city, in danger in the country, in danger at sea; and in danger from false brothers. I have labored and toiled and have often gone without sleep; I have known hunger and thirst and have often gone without food; I have been cold and naked."
(2 Cor. 11:24-27)

This is only a fraction of the things that Paul went through. He spent a lot of time chained up in prison. So, we find Paul writing this letter to the church at Philippi. The main theme of the letter is “The Joy of the Lord”. Is it possible to find joy in this life? Absolutely. I’m excited for these next few weeks as we get into Paul’s letter to the Philippians and see what he has to say about finding joy in this life.

Are you excited?...

It seems that we will be able to get some better response from the teens in discussion if they are the ones asking the questions. It also gives them the opportunity to develop more trusting relationships with one another. Take yourself out of the conversation unless you are needed to join in.
-----------------------------------------------------
Breakout Session Guide B.S.L. stands for Breakout Session Leader -
What is the happiest moment of your life that you can remember? What made it such a happy time?

Describe a difficult time in your life that you can remember (if you are willing to share)? Did you make it through it or are you still dealing with it? How did you deal with that situation?
BSL notes – Some may share, but then some may not feel comfortable sharing.
That’s ok. Don’t press on this. If noone shares, then make the question more
General (How do you deal with difficult situations in your life?)

James (part 3) - Blah Blah Blah (did I say that?)

2007-03-03T15:35:00.000-08:00

I want to tell you 3 different stories:

Tim and Angela

Freddie and his dad

Tea and her mom

Tim and Angela knew eachother since 3rd grade. They used to play paintball together. Angela even taught Tim how to ride his skateboard. Now they were in highschool and for some reason things were different. Angela didn’t want to go and play paintball anymore. Her skateboard was collecting dust in the garage. Instead, Angela found herself wanting to hang out with a couple of other friends. They would go shopping and have sleepovers. Tim was upset. What happened to his friend? In anger, Tim walked up to Angela in front of her new friends and began to make rude comments about her weight and then he mumbled something about how she was no longer worthy to be his friend.

Freddie was on the wrestling team at school. It was his first year. He thought he would try it out. He was a little bit awkward on his feet, and he hadn’t really mastered any of the moves. It was his first wrestling meet, and he was understandably nervous. He was excited that his dad was going to be there. Seeing his dad in the stands helped his nerves settle down a little bit. Then it happened. He was pinned in 5 seconds. He didn’t right and ended up with a broken wrist. Wrestling was over before it had begun. Freddie’s dad waited for him in the emergency room. Freddie came out with his cast on and they walked to the car. When they were in the car, the unexpected happened. His dad slammed his door shut and glared at Freddie. Then he began to tell him, “I can’t believe I wasted $200 on you to let you wrestle this year. I should have known you wouldn’t be able to do it. Not only that, I just wasted my night in the emergency room. I had yard work that needed to get done. Freddie tried to speak. His Dad said, “I’m not interested. Don’t talk. You’ll probably just whine about your arm. I can’t believe that you are my son.”

Tea’s mom was the best cook in the world. 4 weeks ago, she had made some bread in their breadmaker. Mom’s homemade bread was the best. Unfortunately, her mom wasn’t the cleanest person in the world. The bread from 4 weeks ago was still in the fridge. Tea opened the fridge, and saw the bread. At first she was so excited. She pulled it out and unwrapped it. Then she saw the green and gray clumps that were forming on the crust. She looked at the bread, and knew that she had to make a decision. Would she eat it or throw in away…? TO BE CONTINUED

READ – James 3:2-5,7-12

How many of you have ever played horse before (with your dad or older brother).

How strong is a horse?
Strong enough to pull a wagon.
Strong enough to carry a man for miles.

How tall is a horse?

How many of you have ever ridden a horse before? How do tell the horse which direction to go.

I was afraid of horses for a while. When I was in 3rd or 4th grade, my brother and I got on a horse together. He sat in the saddle, and I sat on top of the horses butt. The wrangler began to walk us around in a circle. My brother got caught up in the moment. He yelled at the top of his lungs, “YeeHaw”. The horse reared up on its hind legs, and I fell off the back. The horse had been startled. I was laying on the ground while the horse’s hoofs were moving out of control. The horse hoof came down on the inside of my thigh ripping my pants and cutting my leg.

Do you know what the wrangler did through all of this? He stayed clear of the horse, but he had hand on something. It was the reigns. He pulled down on the reigns and slowly calmed the horse down until the horse was under his control.

What is the most powerful part of a ship? The rudder. It’s a very small piece of wood or metal compared to the rest of the ship, but it is able to change the direction of the ship. The same is true of your car. A car is very heavy, and the steering wheel is not, but I can make my car turn any way I want with very little effort.

James uses analogies like this to get a very specific point across. The tongue (what you say) is the most deadly instrument known to man. Not because it is wet, and no one likes to be spit on. But because it speaks. Words have the ability to lift up and to tear down. You have the ability to tear people down simply by saying something to them.

The last question that was in your group was how do you know what you should say to someone? James chapter 1 says, “that if any of you lacks wisdom; let him ask of God”

James 3:16-18:

What is at the heart of what you want to say? Are you going to say something hurtful to someone, because you were hurt? Why? What is your motive? What is your reason? Are you mad at your friend, because they are having more fun than you? Are you going to cut them down because of it, and tell that they obviously don’t care about you? Why? What is your motive? What is your reason?

If your motive is jealousy or selfish in anyway, then don’t say it. Maybe what you have to say is necessary. Why? What are you hoping to accomplish? If it is this….(verse 17), then say it, but say it in peace…(verse 18).

Bambi and Thumper… “if you can’t say something nice; don’t say nothing at all”

This is so important here at the Grip. Don’t be a jerk. The reason people cut others down, is typically because of some kind of insecurity that they have. They have to try and lift themselves up at the expense of others. Who wants to be in a place where people are always cutting them down? I sure don’t.

The Grip is a place where you can be. It’s not a place to come and be judged by others, and it’s not a place to come and judge others. That’s not what we’re about.

Getting control of what you say starts with a relationship with Jesus Christ. Then it takes submitting to His leadership in your life. He wants to help you have a good life, but you have to be willing to allow Him to lead you into that life.

The Word of God, the Bible is profitable for teaching and for instruction in righteousness. God has laid out good things for you to do for others and for Him, but you have to be willing ask Him for help.

If you don’t have a relationship with Christ, then I’ll tell you that you have to start it.
If you do have a relationship with Christ, then I’ll tell you that you have to get serious about it. Without His leadership in your life, your life will never be the life that it could be.

We are all on a Spiritual Journey, because we were created in God’s image. We have to take steps on that Journey….
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Breakout Session Guide B.S.L. stands for Breakout Session Leader -
What’s the nicest thing that anyone has ever said to you? How did it make you feel?
BSL – Give the teens permission to ‘brag’. Be sure to follow up their comments with
affirmation or encouragement supporting what was said about them. Demonstrate what
it means to be genuinely ‘nice’ to someone.

What’s the meanest thing that anyone has ever said to you (no profanity)? How did it make you feel?
BSL – This is an opportunity to share something from your own personal life. Be willing
to be vulnerable, and talk about your real feelings. Another question to ask the group
after someone has shared is, “How does it make you feel to hear that?”

Do you think that the things we say to people and the way we say them matter? Why or why not?
BSL – Reference some of the stories that are shared in question 2

How do you know what to say to someone so that you don’t hurt them?
BSL – KEY WORDS (MOTIVE & OBJECTIVE)
James 3:16-18 For where jealousy and selfishness exist, there is disorder and
every evil thing…But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle,
reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. And the seed
whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.

James (part 2) - With Prejudice

2007-03-03T15:30:00.000-08:00

At what age should a child stop whining?
Did any groups come up with a definition of the word, Mature?
What are some of the different labels that are placed on people in your school?
What’s downtown Chicago like? What kind of people are in downtown Chicago?

Don’t answer this out loud. I want to you to think about the question, and answer it to yourself.

Is there anyone in your school who you intentionally do not talk to or avoid, because of what other people might think about you for talking to that person?

Is there anyone here at The Grip who you intentionally do not talk to or avoid, because of what other people might think about you for talking to that person?

Let me tell you what the cop out part to that question is – “Because of what other people might think”. Usually, it’s not about what other people might think. It’s about what you think.

This past week, I was in Orlando, Florida on a business trip. I was walking to my hotel on Monday night, and I saw a man sitting outside the hotel. I said to myself, practically out loud, “You’ve got to be kidding me. I don’t have time for this”. I thought that he was a homeless man sitting by the hotel waiting for me to pass so that he could ask me for some money. I got up to him, and then I realized that he was just sitting on the pavement, because he was tired of standing and probably just waiting for a ride. I felt like a real jerk, not because I mistook the man for a homeless man, but because of my attitude towards him when I thought that he was homeless.

Saira and I used to live in Chicago, and there was a man named Ed who stood on the Expressway exit asking for money from the cars that drove by. So how do I know that his name is Ed? I asked him one day. I shook his rough, extremely dirty and calloused hand. I’ve given pizza, pasta, money, soup, canned fruit…. I was walking down Michigan Ave. on my way to a business exposition, and there was a homeless man sitting on the sidewalk mumbling something to me. I have no idea what he said, but I walked over to him and asked him to repeat himself so that I could answer him. I took time out of my life to talk to him. I took another homeless man to McDonalds one night. A few weeks later, I gave him a ride to the place that he was staying. His name was Larry. I knew him. I even told him about Jesus, and he made a commitment of faith. He was a Christian, and I played a part in it. I’ve preached at the Pacific Garden Mission, a homeless shelter. I’ve shaken their hands. I’ve allowed them to get close to me. I’ve prayed with them. I’ve listened to their stories.

So why not the man outside the hotel? It was just one man. All I had to do was go upstairs and go to bed. Why couldn’t I stop and say, “Hi”. Why couldn’t I ask him if he was hungry?

I spoke to a woman in O’Hare. I spoke to the people who were on the plane with me. So why not him?

The answer is very simple: In that moment, I thought that I was better than him. He didn’t deserve my time. My time was too valuable for him. I felt ashamed of myself for feeling that way.

This is what the Bible says: James 2:1-4,8-9,14-17

We are told in James 1:22 to be doers. We are told to put into action what the Bible tells us. Faith without action is dead and powerless.

Here at The Grip, we desire to have an environment of acceptance. This is not a place to come and be judged by others. It is not a place to come and judge others. Every single one of us have prejudices. I hang out with this group, Because_____. I don’t hang with this group, Because_______.

It is important that when someone new comes here that they feel welcomed. They need to feel like they belong.

Jesus calls us to live out our faith. He calls us to live out what we believe. If you are here and know for sure that you have a relationship with Christ, then #1) That’s awesome. #2) The Grip is not about you. The Grip is about you living out your faith in your community. Ephesians 4:1 says, “Live a life worthy of the calling with which you have been called”. Jesus loves you and wants what is best for your life. He came that you might have life, and that you would have it abundantly (a good life). The best life is a life that is lived out according to God’s purpose for your life. His purpose for your life is this – It’s not about you, It’s about Him. It’s about taking the risk, when you feel uncomfortable talking to someone you don’t know. It’s about abandoning childish fears and the teenage acceptance grid so that someone else might have a chance to know God. If you are here and you can’t say for sure that you have a relationship with Christ, then The Grip is all about you. It’s about getting your questions answered. It’s about building relationships with people who have a relationship with Christ. It’s about you meeting Christ, and falling in love with Him. That is what The Grip is about. If that’s not what this is about, then we should just close out doors, because we aren’t doing what we were called here to do. There are plenty of teen clubs and parties that will be happy to make someone feel welcome so that they can make money and have fun. But in the end, that’s all it is.

We have to grow. We can’t stop growing.
My Journey is My Journey
Who makes the decisions on your journey?
Make the right ones.
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Breakout Session Guide B.S.L. stands for Breakout Session Leader -
What are you going to do when it gets warm outside?
BSL – This is simply an ice-breaker question (feel free to use another one)

What does it mean to be mature?
BSL – One idea here is to actually have the group build a definition of the word

What are some things that you expect be different about your life in 10 years?
BSL – Keep this question about them personally (behaviors, activities, attitudes)

Why is it important to continue to grow up?
BSL – Some basic reasons (You probably won’t be able to hold down a job, because of
the lack of responsibility; You will find yourself to be lonely, because most adults find
other childish adults to be annoying and don’t care to spend time with them)

Give an example of an adult you know who decided to never grow up. What are they like?
BSL – This is one of those questions that you never really know how it will turn out…
Use your judgment. Don’t allow them to use peoples names.

James (part 1) - Have You Trials or Temptations

2007-03-03T15:24:00.000-08:00

Bill and Joe were walking down the street and Bill saw a wallet barely hanging onto the drain cover. He grabbed it, and both he and Joe were amazed at what was inside. There were 5 one-hundred-dollar bills and 10 fifty-dollar bills. How much money is that?

Bill knew immediately how much that was. It was a lot.

Joe: What are you going to do with that wallet?
Bill: Nothing. I don’t care about the wallet. I care about what’s inside the wallet.
Joe: What are you talking about Bill? You know that you can’t keep that money. It belongs to somebody else.
Bill: Yeah, right. Somebody else who should have been a little bit more careful with their stuff. Finders keepers….
Joe: I’m outta here. I’m not going to have anything to do with this. (EXIT)
Bill: See ya. (EXIT the other direction)

Deep inside, Bill knew that what he was about to do was wrong, but man that was a lot of money...

James 1:13 When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be
tempted by evil, nor does He tempt anyone…

Life is about growth. It’s about growing up and becoming mature. I want to read a few verses in the book of James that talks about this:

James 1:1-8,12-17

About the book of James –
How many of you have a friend who will tell it like it is. If you are wrong, they will let you know. If you have hurt them or someone else, they will tell you?

James is that type of a person, and that’s what his book is like. He doesn’t really mix words or beat around the bush. He takes the basic elements of faith and shows you what it looks like played out in life.

He makes it very clear in the first few verses that if you are going through a trial or a difficult time, then you need to reach out to God for wisdom. Then he says, if you are going to ask, then ask and trust. Don’t ask and then cower in the corner just hoping that maybe God might answer your prayer.

TEMPTATION:

Did your mom ever bake cookies, and tell you not to eat any? You smell those cookies, and you want one. You’re even a little angry with your mom. As if she baked those cookies just to tempt you!
Some people feel the same way about God. They want something they know is wrong, and they wonder why God is tempting them. But God doesn’t tempt anyone! Their own evil desires makes them want what is wrong. Like the cookies. If that were spinach would you want any?
When you’re tempted, it’s because something inside you likes to do the wrong thing you know you shouldn’t do. The problem is in you, not in the thing you want to do.
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Breakout Session Guide B.S.L. stands for Breakout Session Leader -
What would you do if you were in Bill and Joe’s situation? Have you ever been in a situation like that? What did you do?
BSL – Just ask and let them answer. This isn’t necessarily a right vs. wrong discussion,
but feel free to have some dialog around it.

What does it mean to be tempted?
BSL – This is a general question. Allow the youth to answer the question. Encourage
them to say it in their own words (not churchy).
Experiencing the desire to do something that you know would be an unwise decision.

What are some things that tempt you?
BSL – Some examples: food, doing something (dumb, mean, foolish) so that someone
will like me, sex, cheating on the test, skipping school to go do fill in the blank?, stealing,
lying to parents or friends to cover up some thing (even little white lies)

What do you do about things that tempt you?
BSL – They may need a little bit of help with this one. Some examples: pray about them.
Get away from them. Jesus used scripture in the wilderness. Give in to it. Ask for help.

Where does temptation come from?
BSL – Some examples: my friends, TV (media), parents, Satan, myself
James 1:13 When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be
tempted by evil, nor does He tempt anyone…

Romans Road (part 1) - Romans 3:23

2007-03-03T15:12:00.001-08:00

Romans 3:23 - Paraphrase:
Everyone has messed up and continues to mess up

Before I go any further:
- People have to earn their right to be heard. I think that there is a level of trust that is needed here.
- You have to trust me: You have gotten to know me. I hope that you have been able to begin to trust me. I’ve been honest with you about who I am and where I’ve been.
- I have been in a relationship with Jesus for over 20 years.
- I think that Jesus Christ has definitely earned the right to be heard and trusted.
- The Bible has to earn the right to be heard as well. It has. If you are sitting out there and don’t believe the Bible is God’s Word. You don’t think that you can trust what the Bible has to say, then I would love to talk with you about that. I would challenge you to really investigate it and check it out for yourself.

Do you think you are a good person?
What is good? How do you judge what is good?

How many of you played kickball or baseball or basketball or any kind of ball growing up?

How did you decide teams? Line up on a fence… I was always chosen last.
The team captains have a standard that they are looking for. The person who best meets that standard is chosen first.

God has a standard = perfection. The world has a saying “Nobody’s perfect”

There is noone righteous. Not even one.

Everything we think is good and righteous is like filthy rags (poopy diapers)

Would you drink water from this cup.
No. That’s what we look like to God. No matter how good we try to be, it is tainted by us.
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Teen Questionaire -
HOW WOULD YOU SAY IT?
Roman’s 3:23
For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God

Who is all?

What is sin?

What does it mean to fall short?

What is the glory of God?

Romans Road (part 1) - Romans 3:23

2007-03-03T15:12:00.000-08:00

Relationships (part 4) - Me, Myself, and I

2007-03-03T15:03:00.000-08:00

God wants us to see ourselves the way that he sees us: Unique, Special, and Just Right

You are Unique –
There is noone else on this planet who has the same fingerprint as you.
Look at your finger. See all the lines on your hand. The little tip of your finger is all it takes to identify you from everyone else in the world.
I am a twin. (mostly identical – he and I are completely different people)
Personalities, styles, food (cucumbers / tomatoes)
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a Siamese twin?
A pair of 20+ yr old Siamese twins was being separated this past week. They were joined at the skull. They both died as a result of complications. Do you think that they had some differences?
Who are you the most like? (Your mom, dad, best friend) Are you exactly like them? No.

You are Special –
What does God do? Students answer

God is interested in and loves you specifically (here’s what the Bible says)
Psalm 139:2-4
Lord, You have examined me, and you know me. You alone know when I sit down and when I get up. You read my thoughts from far away. You watch men I travel. You watch me when I rest. You are familiar with all my ways. Even before a single word is on my tongue, you know all about it, Lord.

Matthew 6:26
Look at the birds. They don’t plant, harvest, or gather the harvest into barns. Yet, your heavenly Father feeds them. Aren’t you more important than they?

Do you get that? God, the creator of the world, cares for you. He knows what you are doing. He knows what you are thinking.

You are Just Right –
God made you just the way he wanted to make you
Psalm 139:13-16
You alone created my inner being. You knitted me together inside my mother.

I know I’m special, ‘cause God don’t make no junk.

We live in a world of makeovers. (The extreme makeover…)
Why aren’t we satisfied with who we are? Why do we want to be something else, something “better”?
How about the world’s sexiest man or woman? Do you think that they think that they are the sexiest?

The truth is that all of us have something that we would like to change. And if it were to change, then we think we would be more acceptable to more people.

Sometimes there is something about our physical appearance that we would like to have changed:
I have a big forehead and pointy nose (I think). Saira likes my nose, and she agrees that I have a big forehead.

I have learned that my nose is okay just the way it is.

Would you go up to your friend, and tell him that because his ribs stick out a little bit you would prefer that he play on the shirts team instead of the skins team when you play basketball. Would you tell your girlfriend that you would prefer to not go to the beach with her because her left big toe is bigger than her right? No.
Be honest, how many of you have ever told yourself something like that?

Other times there is something about the way are socially that we would like to change:
I’ll be walking be someone in the hall. They will say, “Hi”, and I’ll respond with a very confident, “hi”. As soon as they pass by I’ll begin this conversation with myself:
“John you idiot. Why can’t you just say, “HI”. I couldn’t hear you. I’m sure they couldn’t hear you. Are you shy? Are you embarrassed to say, “HI”.
And then I’ll practice for next time.

Can you guys relate to anything like that. Have you ever had a moment that you would like to just take back. A moment of true embarrassment?

God made you unique. He made you special, and He made you just right.

How do you relate to yourself? Do you look down on ________________ (put your name in the blank)? Are you embarrassed of ________________? Are you so proud of ____________ that know one else can measure up (i.e. ____________ is better than everyone else)? Or do you see _____________ as a person? Do you care about _______________?
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Breakout Session Guide D.L. stands for Discussion Leader -
Do people generally like themselves? Are they satisfied with who they are? Do they know who they are?
D.L. notes – You are just looking for some good dialogue with these questions.
What perceptions do people have about other people and how they see themselves?

How well do people know themselves? What does it mean when someone says, “I have to go find myself?”
D.L. notes – Again, we are looking at what their perceptions are, and having some
dialogue.

What do you think is the biggest complaint that girls have about themselves? What do you think is the biggest complaint that guys have about themselves?
D.L. notes – If you feel like it, dig a little deeper here. Simply ask why. “Why is there
a difference between girl and guys complaints, or why is there a similarity?” “Why do
they see themselves that way?”

Pair off in your group (preferably with some that you know fairly well). Write down five words that describe that person. Write down five words that describe you.
D.L. notes – These five words need to describe them as a person. Only one of the words
Is allowed to focus on what activities they do or what they look like).
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Teen Questionaire:
My name is ________________________________

I am ______ yrs old.

My birthday is _____________________

I have (how many) _____ pets and they are (what types of pets) … ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

My favorite color is _____________

I am most alert in the (time of day) _______________________

I want to be a (career) ______________________________ when I graduate.

Most people don’t know that I (interesting fact) … ________________________________________________________________________

I am afraid of ______________________________________

When I am bored the first thing I do to not be bored is ________________________________________________________________________

Sad movies make me _________________________________

Happy movies make me ________________________________

The place that I feel like I belong the most is ___________________________________

The person (people) who love me the most are __________________________________

When I feel hurt I
____ Let everyone else know
____ Don’t let anyone know (including myself)
____ Go off by myself and cry or hit something
____ Try and talk my feelings through with the person who hurt me.

If I could change three things about myself they would be 1) _______________________ 2) ________________________ 3) ____________________________
What do you want on your tombstone? ________________________________________________________________________

Relationships (part 3)

2007-03-03T14:56:00.000-08:00

What are some of the most memorable experiences that you and your friends have had?
1) Surprise birthday party

Those are fun things to do together, but what really deepens a friendship is the sharing of the heart. That’s where bonds are made.

What does your heart look like?
Do you have a strong heart that is not guarded and is not hindered by the unknown?
Do you have an unconfident heart that really wants to share, but is afraid to?

If I ask you how you are feeling, what will you say back to me?
Ask a few students how they are feeling.

Most of us live guarded lives. We don’t let anyone inside of our hearts. We don’t give our hearts.

What’s it like when you sit alone with your thoughts, and you evaluate your life. You look around at who is in your life, and how close or how distant you are from them.

We have moments of passion. We have moments of numbness.
Sometimes I feel extremely alone. I have this overwhelming desire inside to pour out myself and my heart to someone, and show them love like they have never experienced it before. I think, if only you could see what was going on inside of me right now

If you want to experience a deep and intimate friendship with someone then you have to surrender your heart to that person.
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Breakout Session Guide -

What are some of the best or most memorable experiences that you have had with your friends (or just with your best friend)?

What qualities does a person need to have in order to be your friend?

Do you think that there is a difference between being friends with someone and being someone’s friend?

What types of things do you and your friends talk about? How deep do your conversations go?

Relationships (part 2) - What Was Your Name Again?

2007-03-03T14:52:00.000-08:00

There are 2 kinds of people in the world. People you know and people you don’t. Today we are going to talk about people you don’t know.

What is it that makes one person ‘worth’ more than everyone else?

What are some of the different groups in your schools and what identifies them? How do you know what group they belong to? What are the different nationalities in your schools? What is the attitude of people towards other nationalities moving in?

What group do you belong to? (Ask a few of the teens)

What is the typical interaction between the groups?

You don’t hear a lot about this kind of thing now, but just a few years ago the whole idea of an interracial couple was sickening to a lot of people in the U.S. But interracial mixing wasn’t anything new. It has been around for thousands of years. Let me take you back to the Bible days.

The Jews in the New Testament were completely against interracial anything let alone interracial marriage. That was considered unclean. If you were one of those ½ breeds, then you were an outcast from Israel. In fact, it was so bad that the Israelites would actually go out of their way to not even walk through your space.

Describe Israel, Samaria, and Jerusalem.

The Samaritans or the mixed race lived in Samaria, right between Israel and Jerusalem. Here’s the scene:
Jesus and his disciples had to make fast time so they headed straight through. The disciples go into town to get some food, and Jesus goes and sits down by a well and begins to talk to a woman their. During the conversation we learn that she has been married twice before and is now living with a man in an immoral relationship.

How do you think that Jesus responded to her?
How do you think most people would expect Jesus to respond to her?
“Look down on her” Why, because that’s exactly what they see Christians do.

Reference some of the names that they have for the “groups”. There’s a stigma out there, that has been created by Christians. If you are sleeping around or if you doing drugs or if you can’t say something without swearing, then I don’t want to associate myself with you. What do Christians say when someone like that claims to be a Christian?
“There’s no way that they could be a Christian”

Now look at this story, also from the New Testament. Some one asked Jesus, “Who is my neighbor?” So Jesus told a story.
Luke 10:30-35

The way you treat other people is a reflection on who you are as a person. It tells how secure or confident you are in who you are. It shows what you value. It also shows what level of pride or humility that you have.

Here’s a challenge: The next time that you find yourself around someone who you have a preconception about. (You find yourself looking down on that person.) STOP.
That is an actual person with feelings, ideas, a family. Is there really something about you that makes you worth more than them?
What you see is not all that makes up that person’s life.

As a Christian, the way that I relate to people is how they will see Christ relating to them. Are you a good example or not?
If you are, then how do you help others do the same?
If you aren’t, then what will you change?
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Breakout Session Guide D.L. stands for Discussion Leader -
What is racism? Is racism an issue in Johnsburg, Spring Grove, and Richmond? How do you know?
D.L. Notes – If the answer is no, then challenge the group with situations.
A twin of racism is ethno-centricity, a perspective that your race or culture is superior to
Someone elses. It’s not something that we will readily admit to, but that doesn’t mean
That it doesn’t exist.

What are the different “types” or “groups” of people in your school? Is there a difference in status between the different “groups” in your school? Why do you think that is?
D.L. Notes – In most school systems, there is some type of a caste system. There is
almost an assumed level of hierarchy. Try and understand what the different groups are
and why one seems to be more important than the other.

Do you have a unique identity (style, personality, etc…) from everyone else or do you think that you fit into a certain “group”? Why do you dress the way you do? Why do you listen to the music that you do?
D.L. Notes – Try to understand why they may look similar to a particular group. Why do
people associated with ___________ lifestyle all seem to look similar? Are you naturally
your own person or do you do it on purpose?

Relationships (Part 1)

2007-03-03T14:45:00.000-08:00

Over the next few weeks we are going to be talking about a very important topic. If you really engage yourself in what we are talking about, then you will get a lot out of it. Even more importantly, is the decisions that you make as a result of this series of discussions.

Any guesses?

We are going to be talking about relationships. Everybody has them. The relationships that you have are the #1 influencer in your life. They will greatly impact the decisions that you make that will effect the rest of your life. You cannot underestimate the importance of relationships.

But first, let’s try this out.

I’m going to call out a body part and a number. As soon as I call it out, clump together.
Example – elbow 3
Find 2 other people and touch your elbows together.
-------------------------------------
When you hear me say the ‘relationship’ what is the first thing that pops into your head?
Students answer

What are some of the different relationships that you have in your life?
Students answer

Answer these to yourselves:
What is the most important relationship that you have? (There isn’t some spiritual twist on this question at all. I just want to know what relationship is the most important to you.)
What makes that relationship so important? What is it about that relationship that causes it to stand out from the rest of your relationships?

I am intentionally not using the word friendship. Friendship automatically assumes a closeness. Relationships don’t require closeness. Relationships are formed because you share something in common. You have a relationship with someone who you relate with.

‘Elbows 3’

Life is like this. You get thrown into different situations with different people.

‘Heads 4’

You never know where you are going to end up or who you are going to end up with.

‘Toes 2’

When we are talking about relationships, there are 2 questions for you to answer –
1) Who do I have a relationship with?
2) What type of relationship do I have with them?

What relationship that you have in your life will most likely affect your life the most?
Students answer

Your parents will most likely affect who you are when you are older more than anyone else you know. (Dad has a temper, guess who else has a temper.)

The friends that you hang out with every week, (If you are truly close) will have the 2nd greatest impact on your life. (If your friends Sam, Billy, Matt, and Julie are smoking pot, then guess who else probably is or is trying really hard not to.)

The relationships that you develop now are crucial to who are, the struggles you have, the support you have in the future.
Let me tell you about Billy:

Billy was 14 years old. Billy had a problem. He didn’t know it though. He would go to school and no one would stand with him when they were waiting for the bell to ring. No one would sit with him during lunch. The bus driver made him walk home.

The problem was that Billy had been wearing the same pair of underwear for 3 months. They were his favorite pair. He thought they were so comfortable. The material was so soft except for the real crusty middle.

Billy had become immune to the smell. He was used to it. Apparently no one else was though. Billy couldn’t take any more of the rejection that he was getting in school so he went to his mom and through his tears he asked, “Mom, why doesn’t anyone like me? No one talks to me in school. I don’t have any friends. I don’t understand.”

His mom looked at him and said, “Billy, I think that you need to (students fill in the blank).”

We all need to change sometimes don’t we. We recognize that something isn’t right, and we make the change. We can choose to keep things the way they are even though we know that a change needs to take place or we can make the change. The choice is completely up to you.

I hope that as we go through this series on relationships that you will be taking inventory of the relationships that you have and how healthy they are.
---------------------------------------------------
Breakout Session Guide D.L. stand for Discussion Leader -
Let’s go around the group, tell me a relationship that you have in your life. No repeats.
D.L. notes: This is just a one word answer question. This can be any relationship.
Mother, Father, Sister, Brother, Boyfriend, Girlfriend, family dog, Best friend, etc…

Who do you feel the closest to, and why?
D.L. notes: Don’t be tempted to respond with, “Why not this relationship…?” The
focus here is on what is important to them. What is it about that relationship that helps
them to feel close or connected with that person.

Who do you think has the greatest impact on the decisions that you make?
D.L. notes: Again don’t be tempted to ask a ‘why not’ question.

If you had to give someone advice on their relationship with their parents; what would it be? their relationship with their girlfriend or boyfriend; their relationship with their friends?
D.L. notes: Rephrase of the question – If a friend came to you for advice on how to have
a successful relationship with their parents…what would you tell them?

Reality (part 2) - Truth. a Four Letter Word?

2007-03-03T14:43:00.000-08:00

Do you think that people are really interested in the truth? Or do you think that they look for something to validate their personal perception bubble?

#1 The TRUTH may be uncomfortable - We don’t like it
#2 The TRUTH is offensive - It may mean that we are wrong

Define TRUTH?
Is TRUTH possible? Why or why not? How do you know?

Have two volunteers go out of the room. Have the group answer these questions:
What is their name?
What were they wearing?
What color is their shirt?
What brand are their shoes?
What do they like to do?
Have them come back in and then ask them the questions.
Compare answers –
We saw them. We even know them and we got these answers wrong.

The world takes the same approach towards God.
AA believes in a higher power, but they don’t say what that is.
What do people believe about God? What do you believe about God? Perception Bubble
What do people believe about Jesus? What do you believe about Jesus?

The Bible is all about God revealing himself to us in the person of Jesus, and wanting to have an actual one on one relationship with each one of us. We have all of our perception bubbles about who He is and what He is like or if He even exists. One thing I love about God – He promises in the Bible to remain faithful to me, even when I am not faithful to Him. Even with all the mess ups that I have done. He still loves me and wants that relationship. “Nothing can separate me from the love of Christ.” It’s all here.

God has a couple of things to say about TRUTH –
1. You shall know the Truth, and _____________________________
What Truth?
2. Jesus said, I am the way, the TRUTH, and the life. No one comes to the Father except by me. (Freedom)

*A couple of things that drive our lives whether you know it or not are: 1) What happens after I die? 2) How we answer that question?

Reality (part 1) - What's Really Real Anyway?

2007-03-03T14:40:00.000-08:00

Who is your favorite D.J. on the radio? Have you ever seen him/her? If no, then what do they look like (How do you picture them)?
Blonde/Brunette
Short/Tall
Thick/Thin
Glasses/Contacts/Neither
What do they really look like?
Does how you picture them have effect on how they actually look? No
*However, until you knew what they really looked like, you only had your mental picture to go off of. That mental picture was reality to you.
How about their hobbies, their personality, their likes and dislikes, their family, etc…?

Reality #1 = Something that is common to all. It is outside of you. Your perception of it, does not effect it.

Pink’s song “Family Portrait”
What is the situation that she is singing about?
Her parents have decided to get a divorce, and Dad is moving out.
What is real in this situation?
Her parents are getting a divorce
She has a mom, a dad, and some siblings
Her emotions (feeling of guilt – She promises to be better)
She believes that she is partially if not totally to blame for the divorce. That is what is real to her. That is her perception of the situation.
Is she right? No

Reality #2 = Something that is unique to you (your perception).

We all have a perception bubble. We take our perceptions of reality (whether we are right or not) and make them reality to us. What you might see as real, I might not. Example – Pink’s reality is that she is guilty. My reality is that she is not guilty.

We live in a world of alternative perspectives. What you perceive to be real is real.
Is that possible?

The perception bubble is a fantasy that we create out of ignorance or out of deliberate choice.

A Beautiful Mind.
What was his reality? What was true? He thought that he was a decoder for the government because of his mathematical genius. He was clinically insane. He suffered from a mental illness that drastically altered his perception of reality.
His reality was real to him, but in reality was a fantasy.

Take aways (Think about this)
What is your perception bubble?
What makes up your reality?
What is actually true?

On Purpose (part 5) - Tell Them About IT

2007-03-03T12:45:00.000-08:00

What is the most important thing in your life? What is the number one priority?

Have you ever admitted that you are not perfect? You don’t do everything right? You do things that are wrong & immoral (lying, cheating, whining, complaining, disobeying, abusing others either emotionally or physically, and the list goes on…)?

Did you know that because you are not perfect; you are not allowed in Heaven, you are condemned to an eternity separated from the presence of God?

Have you ever acknowledged that Jesus Christ is real, and that He is God? Do you believe that He lived a perfect life?

Did you know that Jesus was killed? Did you know that He was killed for you on your behalf? He paid the price for your sin. Because He died, you don’t have to spend eternity separated from God. (We remember this on Good Friday)

Did you know that Jesus rose from the dead? (We celebrate this every Easter)

Did you know that by accepting Jesus’ payment as your own, you will go to Heaven when you die? Did you know that the decision that you make about Jesus will determine where you spend eternity. That and nothing else.

Some of you have heard the things that I just said and believed them. At some point in your life, you believed what the Bible says about going to Heaven and having a relationship with Jesus. You have accepted the gift of Jesus death on the cross as your ticket into an eternity with Jesus.

Others of you may be hearing this for the first time. Others of you have heard this before, but it just doesn’t make sense to you. You are not willing to believe that it is true. For some people, trusting in Christ is an easy thing to do. For others, it seems to be the most difficult decision that they ever face.

Do you know what having a relationship with Jesus means for your life when you die?
No matter what, you are going to Heaven. It doesn’t matter how bad you mess up.
You will never experience what Hell is like. You will be with God for eternity. You are going to Heaven.

Do you know what having a relationship with Jesus means for your life right now?
You have God living in you. You have the power of the creator of the universe in your body. (Colossal power – Itty Bitty living space)
You have God taking care of your life. You have God directing your life.
The Bible says that you have a friend that sticks closer than a brother.
If you have a relationship with Jesus, will you tell me something about it? What does that mean to you?

Footprints in the sand (briefly)

Have you told anyone about what you have? Have you told anyone about how they can have what you have? If what you have is so great, then why keep it to yourself?

What are the 4 purposes of our life that we have talked about so far?
1. Worshipping God – Showing God how much He means to us
2. Fellowship – Having deep relationships with other Christians
3. Become like Jesus – One day we will be made perfect
4. Serve

Guess what the final purpose of our lives is? Telling people about Jesus

A lot of us, myself included, have a hard time doing this sometimes. Do you know why?
Teens answer

The paralytic man (Luke 5:17 – 25)
One day as He was teaching …Some men came carrying a paralytic on a mat and tried to take him in the house to lay Him before Jesus. When they could not find a way to do this because of the crowd, they went up on the roof and lowered his mat through the tiles into the middle of the crowd, right in front of Jesus. When Jesus saw their faith, he said, “Friend, your sins are forgiven.”…He said to the paralyzed man, “I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home.” Immediately he stood up in front of them, took what he had been lying on and went home praising God.

Here’s the secret:
1st you have to CARE about people.
I’m a person. I have a life. I have feelings. One day I am going to die. Do you care what happens to me or am I just occupying your time right now?

If that mans friends hadn’t taken him to Jesus, then where would he have spent the rest of his life? _________________ Do you think that he was glad his friends did it? _______

2nd believe that Jesus can save YOUR FRIEND.
You should ask your friend to come to “The Grip”. Oh, you don’t know my friend, they wouldn’t come. How do you know?
The worst that could happen – “I don’t think I’m going to go back.”
The best that could happen – Your friend could meet Jesus.

3rd Do SOMETHING about it.

If you have accepted Jesus as your savior, then it was because somewhere in your life someone cared about you enough to share that with you.

On Purpose (part 4) - Perfect? Me? Maybe Someday

2007-03-03T12:42:00.000-08:00

The Big Idea: You were created to become like Christ

Review –
1. We were created to worship God. We show the world and God how much God is worth to us.

2. We were created to have deep relationship with other people. We need eachother.

We were created for perfection.
Philippians 1:6
…He who began a good work in you, will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.

The Bible from Genesis to Revelation is all about a relationship between God and us.

Point #1:
God loves you.
John 3:16
For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life.

Greater love has no man than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.

Point #2:
God wants you to be like Jesus.
Ephesians 4:14-15
…We are no longer to be children, …we are to grow up in all aspects into Him, who is the head, specifically, Christ.

Point #3:
This is for those of you who accepted Jesus, those of you who have put your faith in Jesus.
It’s all about God –
Salvation from death GOD DID IT –
Ephesians 2:5
Even when we were dead in our sins, made us alive…for by grace you have been saved.
Salvation from sin GOD IS DOING IT –
Ephesians 2:10
…We are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.
Philippians 1:6
…He who began a good work in you, will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.

It’s all about Love –
Love –
Why do I do the things I do? What is the foundation? What is my motive?
Say some ‘one-word’ motives.
Hatred; Jealousy; Resentment; Uncaring; Love; What is love not?

Answer the question, If I _________ (this person), then I will do ___________?

Review what of those fits the mold of Christ Jesus (What would Jesus do?)
Ephesians 5:1,2
…Be imitators of God…and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us…

The Bible is the ultimate source of authority and of truth. In the Bible God reveals His character to us. We can look at the life of Jesus to see who God is and what He is like. But we have to read it to know.

How many of you have ever made a New Year’s resolution? How many of you have kept it? It takes discipline, but more importantly it needs to become a part of who you are, and not just something that you do.

God has given those who have believed in Him, the Holy Spirit as a guide

God uses all kinds of different circumstances in our lives to change us and mold us. We have all kinds of struggles at school at home in our neighborhoods. What are some of the things that we struggle with? What’s our biggest question? WHY

Romans 8:28
…We know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who were called according to His purpose.

All things – Everything good or bad
The good – Our spiritual growth or our perfection.
-----------------------------------------
Breakout Session Guide D.L. stands for Discusion Leader -

So what? What stood out to you? What questions were raised as we were talking about this? Does this all make sense?
D.L. notes -
Write down or keep a mental note of the questions that are asked and how it was
and how it was answered. Make sure that you understand their question.

What are you going to do about it?
D.L. notes -
This is an area of applying what they have heard. This is a chance to talk about next
steps. 1) Start reading the Bible. Don’t have a Bible? Then take one of ours…
2) Is there a relationship that you are in that is bringing you down (boyfriend/girlfriend;
or maybe just a friend.)…

Take some prayer requests, and then pray with your group.
D.L. notes -
Encourage the other teens to pray for eachother. Praying is simply talking to God.
Write down the prayer requests. Pass out the communication cards, and let them fill
them out, collect them.

On Purpose (part 3) - Ohana Means Family

2007-03-03T12:23:00.000-08:00

Balloons –
(Hand out the paper, pens, and balloons)
Say – answer these three questions on your piece of paper, stick it in the balloon, blow it up and tie it off.

What does it mean to be close or tight with someone?
Who in your life are you closest with?
Brother, Mother, Sister, Father, Someone from school, Someone from the neighborhood, etc…
What top three things about your relationship make it close?

Some of you were probably struggling really hard to think of someone in your life who you are really close to, someone you can share anything with, and who will share anything with you. Some of you were probably thinking through a list of names in your head, and trying to pick the one that best matched the description, whether they were a true match or not.

Raise your hand if you are glad you have or wish you had a really close friend.
Do you know why that is? You were made that way. We were made to be close with eachother. We were made for relationships…

When your relationships are good, you are happy. When your relationships aren’t good, you’re not happy.

Bobby was a part of a broken family. His mom and dad got divorced when he was 5. His dad didn’t want him. His mom couldn’t hold down a job. Bobby was eventually taken by the state and put in the Foster Care system. He stayed with the 1st family for 1 year. They already had 2 kids of their own. Their kids never really got along with Bobby, and the parents figured that they had enough of the situation so Bobby was moved on. Bobby went through similar situations like this for the next 7. By the time Bobby was 12 years old, he had lived in 18 different houses. By this time Bobby had developed a pretty self-destructive lifestyle. He thought that if nobody else cared about him, then why should he. Bobby turned 13. He was placed once again in a new house with new people, Bob and Carol. Bob was an architect and Carol was a house wife. Every night after work, Bob would come home and play catch or basketball with him. Carol always had a hot meal ready for him. They bought him new clothes. It wasn’t long before Bobby’s life changed, because somebody cared about him. Bobby was a part of a family now. 3 years later Bob and Carol adopted Bobby as their son.

If you have accepted Jesus into your life, then you are a part of a family.
“When we place our faith in Christ, God becomes our father, we become His children, other believers become our brothers and sisters, and the church becomes our spiritual family.”
------------------------------
Breakout Session Guide -
1) What does it mean to be authentic and real people?

2) How many people actually know you? When you are here are you really you? What keeps people from being authentic with others?

3) We have to be accepting and encouraging people. What does it mean to be accepting and encouraging? Does it mean that we always agree on everything?

4) Read Galatians 6:2
Can we ever really have true fellowship with one another without sharing eachothers troubles and problems?

5) Do you feel like you are a part of this group or do you feel like you are just kind of here?

6) What makes this a place you want to be? What would make this a place you want to be? Do you think that you can be yourself?

On Purpose (part 2) - Pleasing Him; Pleasing Me

2007-03-03T12:18:00.000-08:00

adapted from Rick Warren's small group series (The Purpose Driven Life)
There was an old lonely man who made his living out of making wooden dolls and selling them. Some of the dolls he made were very plain, and he sold them for a few dollars. Those dolls were made for children to play with. He made other dolls that he sold for hundreds of dollars. They weren’t for children to play with at all. They were collector dolls. Each one of them was made by the old man’s hand with great care.

One day the man realizing that he was lonely made a doll that he did not intend to sell. He made this doll for himself. This doll was a magic doll. It would be unlike any other doll he had ever made. When he finished with the doll, it could talk to him. It could walk around the shop. It could listen to him. He made a living doll.

One day the doll was on his way to school. A stranger said, “Psst. What are hanging around with that old man for? Don’t you realize that you are special? You are a talking, walking doll. You could really be something. You should spend some time with me. I’m a lot more fun.”

At first, it sounded strange to the doll, but as the days passed he began to think about what the stranger had said. He figured, “I’ll never know unless I try it out. Maybe the stranger is right.” The doll began to hang out with the stranger. They did all kinds of things together. He saw places that he never even knew existed. It was great. He was having a great time. Every night he would go home, and that’s when the great time ended.

The old man would ask him where he had been all day. The doll would say, “You know. I was here and there. I saw a few of my friends.” For some reason the doll couldn’t tell the old man the truth about where he had been. He felt rotten inside. He thought, “If the stranger (now his friend) is right, then why do I always feel so rotten when I come home.”

Just as he was getting ready for bed, the old man walked into his room. He said, “I know where you have been. I can smell your clothes. I can see the shame in your eyes. Don’t you know that you weren’t made to be like that? I made you for me. I made you to be with me. Do you remember a few years ago, when we used to eat breakfast together every morning. We would sit down by the lake and I would teach you. You used to love me.”

The next day would be different. The doll would stop hanging out with the stranger. The old man and the doll would have breakfast together. They would spend the afternoon down by the lake getting to know eachother again.

Some dolls were created to be toys. Other dolls were created to be beautiful things to look at. But you were created to know Him.
God created you for a purpose. He created me for a purpose. I was created to worship Him. You were created to worship Him. You were created to love Him.

So what is worship? What do you think of?
Take some answers…

This is what the Bible has to say about what worship is:
Love the Lord Your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength. – Mark 12:30

…Offer your body as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God. This is your spiritual act of worship.

(HOW DO I DO THAT?) Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. – Romans 12:1-2

(HOW DO I DO THAT?) Jesus said, “…Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you, unless you abide in Me… These things I have spoken to you, the My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full.”

I have come that you might have life, and that you might have it abundantly. – Jesus

We are selfish people. We go out into life trying to get ours. We try to get what ever we possible can out of life. We want the best stuff (the newest phone, the latest games, the fasted cars). All of those things are nice, but is that really what your life is all about?

So what do I do to show God how much He is worth to me?
1) Accept His gift of eternal life with Him. (We’ve talked a lot about this)
a. God wants to have a relationship with You, but you have to accept His gift of eternal life first.
i. Admit you are a sinner. That means to admit that you aren’t perfect. Your life doesn’t measure up to God’s standard of holiness. Romans 3:23 – For all have sinned and continue to fall short of the God’s standard.
ii. Believe the good news – Jesus Christ came to earth, lived a sinless life, was put to death, was buried, and rose again. And he did it for you.
iii. Accept the gift. Romans 6:23 – The wages of sin is death (eternal separation from God), but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.
b. Say this to God –
i. I admit that I’m not perfect. I don’t meet your standard of holiness. I believe that you died for me. I accept that gift as payment for my sins.
c. If you just prayed that prayer, then write, I DID IT on your Comm. Card.
2) If you’ve already done that, then write “I’ve already done that” on your card.
a. Now get baptized.
i. Baptism has nothing to do with becoming a Christian. Baptism is simply publicly identifying yourself with Jesus. You are saying, “I’m with Him.”
ii. It is a public display of affection for Jesus
b. Write on your card, “I want to be baptized.”
3) If you’ve already done that, then write, “I already got wet” on your card.
a. Now live right. Make up your mind to be right.
b. Do not be conformed to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
c. If you have accepted Jesus into your life, then do you realize what you have?
i. “And you were dead, but have been made alive”

God is worth giving everything to. He is worth our devotion. He is worth our time. We were made to do Life Together with Him, to be in relationship with Him. It’s how we were made. It doesn’t work any other way.

Breakout Session Guide D.L. stands for discussion leader -
What did you get out of the story about the doll?
D.L. notes – This is a pretty open-ended question, but the main intent of the story was to
Communicate that when the doll was doing what it was intended to do, it was happy.
The other things that the doll got involved in only brought it shame. This may be a time
To share any ‘doll’ moments that you may have had in your own life.

Read Romans 12:2. It says that we should not conform to the patterns of this world. What are some of the patterns (values) of this world? How does this world draw you into those patterns?
D.L. notes – Have the teens list off some of this worlds’ values. Some ways that we are
Drawn into them are “you will be liked if you...” “you will be more attractive if you…”
Let them come up with the answers. Maybe have them give some specific scenarios from
Their own lives.

What is your greatest priority in your life?
D.L. notes – Encourage honesty here. You can help them by saying, “Fill in the blank: If
Nothing else gets done today except for ____________ then today has been a good day.”

Read Mark 12:30. What is God’s greatest priority for your life?
D.L. notes – Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. –
Mark 12:30 Have them expand on what that actually means. Talk about passion (The
object of your passion is the most important thing.)

On Purpose (part 1) - What on Earth am I Here for?

2007-03-03T12:02:00.000-08:00

adapted from Rick Warren's small group series (the purpose driven life)
The purpose of life has been a question that has been asked for years. Everyone has an opinion on what the purpose of life is.

We ask ourselves questions like –
What do I want to be?
What are my goals, ambitions, and dreams for my future?

The focus is all on us. Some things that we aspire to do are very admirable. (Give me some examples) Some other things that we aspire to do are maybe not so much.

The secret to living a life of purpose is very simple. You have to start at the beginning.

It all starts with God –
God created you. He created you for a purpose.
Colossians 1:16 “Everything got started in Him and finds its purpose in Him.”

You can only discover your true identity and true purpose through a relationship with Jesus Christ.

Have any of you been told that you were not planned.
Maybe you were a honeymoon baby.
Maybe you were a ‘one-night stand’ baby
Maybe you were a ‘prom night’ baby
Maybe you were an accident (Impossible)
Maybe you were a mistake (Impossible)

No matter when you were born or under what circumstances you were born into, you are not an accident.

Your parents may not have planned you, but God did. You were created on purpose.
Psalm 139:16 {The author is talking to God} “Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; and all the days of my life were written in Your book, before there was even one of them.”

God tells us in Isaiah 44:2 “I am Your Creator. You were in my care even before you were born.”

Why do you do what you do? What controls you? What guides you through life? Are you aiming for something? What drives you?
1) Guilt – Do you do things because you feel like you have to make up for something that you did in the past to someone?
2) Anger and Resentment – Are you out to get somebody, because of something that happened to you?
3) Fear – Do you not pursue opportunities, because you are afraid of something? What will they think? What if I don’t know what to say? What if she thinks I’m an idiot? What if he rejects me?
a. Legally Blonde – UPS guy and the Nail lady. She’s crazy about the guy, but she never talks to him. She’s afraid and intimidated.
4) Materialism – Do you always want more stuff? Are you never satisfied?
5) The Need for Approval – Do you allow other people’s expectations dictate what you do? Are you a people pleaser? Is your goal in life to please everybody?

There is more to life than just here and now.
How long is your life going to be? (Teens answer)
Ecclesiastes 3:11 “God has planted eternity in the hearts of all men.”

How long is eternity? It’s really long. It doesn’t ever end. Our lives here on Earth are not even a fraction of the lives that we will live on the other side of our death.

This life is preparation for the next life.
If you live your life with Eternity in view, then your values will change. Why? Because there are eternal consequences for the choices that you make now before you die.

How do you see your life?
Is it a circus, a minefield, a roller coaster, a puzzle, a journey, a dance, or maybe something else.

What are the standards of this world? You’ve got to get yours. You have to be popular. Greed, lust, jealousy, hate, selfishness, and so on…

The Bible says, “Do not conform yourselves to the standards of this world, but let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind. Then you will be able to know the will of God.”

Life is a test – What standards are you living by? What decisions are you making? Who are you serving, yourself or God?
Life is a trust – What are you doing with the life God gave you? Are you destroying it with drugs? Are you dropping down some sex or getting as close as you can without going ‘all the way’ when you want it? Or are you respecting the person that you supposedly ‘love’?
Life is temporary – The Bible says that life is a vapor. It’s here and then it’s gone. In that vapor, you decide what will happen when the vapor is gone.

How many of you have ever had a boyfriend or girlfriend?
As the girlfriend, is there anything that you boyfriend could do that would result in your getting angry with him? What?
As the boyfriend would you do that or would you try and please her (make her happy)?
When you do things to please her, you are showing that she is worth enough to you to not look at other people. She is worth spending a little less time with your other friends. She is worth it.

The ultimate purpose in my life and your life is to show how great God is, and how much he is worth. He’s worth:
- Doing right
- Taking time out of your day to spend with Him (prayer, bible reading, Sunday morning)
- Not messing up your life with drugs
- Putting off your sexual urges until you are married
- Loving and obeying your parents
- Surrounding yourself with positive friends
- And the list goes on.

The ultimate purpose of man is to show how much God is worth. Quite frankly, we do a horrible job of it.

One day you will stand before God and give an account for yourself –
Romans 14:10,12 “Each of us will stand personally before the judgment seat of God, and give a personal account to Him.”

The first question you will have to answer is, “What did you do with my son, Jesus Christ?” How you have answered that question will determine where you spend eternity.
The second question you will have to answer is, “What did you do with what I gave you?” How you have answered that question will determine what you do in eternity. At the end of this discussion series on Purpose, you will be able to answer both those questions.
---------------------------------------------------
Breakout Session Guide D.L. stands for discussion leader –

What are your thoughts on the statement “You can only discover your true identity and true purpose through a relationship with Jesus Christ.” Do you agree or disagree and why?
D.L. notes – God created us for a purpose. Finding that purpose begins with Him. He
knows what that purpose is. You cannot know your purpose in life, if you do not the one
who created you (Colossians 1:16 – Everything got started in Him and finds its purpose
in Him.)

What would your family say is the driving force in your life? What would your friends say in the driving force in your life? What do you want it to be?
D.L. notes – Guilt, Anger, Resentment, Fear, Materialism, Need to be Approved are the
ones that we discussed. Some of the kids may have other ideas of things driving their
lives. Try and drill down to the core reason behind what they say, if it makes sense to.
This doesn’t need to be a point of debate. You can just accept what they say for what it
is.

If you were to live your life with eternity in view; what is one thing that you would stop doing? What is something that you would start doing?
D.L. notes – This question is focusing on values. Would your values change? Would
you treat you parents different? Etc… Be careful here, because this question is not
focusing on where you will spend eternity. If there is a God, and there are eternal
consequences for my actions (good or bad), then how will I live my life?

Rhetorical Question: What is God worth to you?
D.L. closing notes – God showed you how much you are worth to Him by sending His
only son to die for you. The only reason He did that was because He loves you.
John 3:16 (paraphrase– Because God loved you so much, He gave His only Son so that
you could have eternal life with Him. You need to make a decision. Will you accept
Jesus as your savior and live your life in a way to show that God is worth something?
It’s a faith thing. You recognize that you can’t get to Heaven, because of the wrong
things that you have done. Believe that Jesus paid that price for you (The wages of sin is
death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ.). Accept the gift as your
own. It’s that simple. Close by passing out the Communication cards. Ask them fill
them out. Then collect them.

Needs (part 3) - The Need to be Competent

2007-03-03T11:55:00.000-08:00

Scripture – Romans 7:18-25

The need to be competent – To be adequate; Having the capacity

Nobody wants to be incompetent. We think that means that you are a failure. You don’t measure up to what people expect or what you think they expect.

My brother is putting a new addition on to his house. He wanted my help getting shingles up on the roof and building a chimney chase on the roof. It was me, and my two brothers. Both of my brothers are carpenters. I am not. They do this stuff all the time. I never do it. We got the shingles, put up the ladder, and everyone took their positions. Dan was going to climb the ladder with the shingles, hand them to me on the porch roof, and then I would hand them to Josh on the new roof. I don’t like roofs, and I’m not comfortable on them (when they are steep, or if I have to do anything other than sit.) I traded with Dan. My first fear was that I wouldn’t be able to carry the shingles all the way up the ladder. My second fear was falling off the ladder. My third fear was not being able to do it. We had 18 bundles to get up. Dan had already taken up one. So, I had 17. It wasn’t pretty, but I was getting them up there. When I got to #14, Josh came down to help. I said, “You stay up there, I’ve got it.” He had to go back up anyway so he took a bundle with him. I finished the remaining bundles.
Why did I say that to my brother? Why didn’t I want his help?

Later that night, we went back over to his house to build the chase for the chimney. Josh and Dan were both drawing lines on the floor, so I took a pencil and started drawing lines to. Josh asked me what I was doing. I jokingly said, “I’m just trying to fit in.” It was time to move supplies to the roof. Josh and Dan were both busy measuring and cutting. I seized the moment. I said to myself, “I’ll show them that I can do this to.” I grabbed the sheets of plywood and began to make my plan to get on the roof, and I did it. I felt good. Then all of a sudden, my left knee started to give out on me. I thought great, “Now I’m useless again.” I held the flashlight while they put the chase together. I thought to myself, “What a waste of time.” I’m useless up here. I look like an idiot. What must they be thinking about me, their older brother. Then as we began to make our way back down the roof, Josh said, “Thanks for helping me. What happened to your knee.” He didn’t care that I get scared when I’m on steep roofs, or that I’m the best shingle carrier in the world. He cared about me. Both he and Dan were looking out for me on the roof. They weren’t thinking that I was getting in the way.

When you come here to The Grip, do you feel like you have to act a certain way, or do you feel that you can completely be yourself. Are we getting to know the real you or is this something that you are making up to meet what you think our expectations of you are.

For someone to say that they are competent means that they can do it (whatever it is) on their own. They don’t need help. We all have a need to feel important and needed. It is important that we are competent in some things. It is also important that we recognize our need for help, and accept it.

Who can cook? Who can’t cook?
Who can change the oil? Who doesn’t know how?

A key ingredient to relationships is “vulnerability” and “reliance”. It is having the ability to say to someone, “I need you. I can’t do this on my own.”

We have this need to be loved. We have this need to be accepted by others. We have this need to be competent.

We want to be loved (intimately and unconditionally) by someone. Avril Lavine – Is anyone there trying to find me. Won’t somebody please take me home. The love we find fails or will fail eventually, because the place that we are looking is not perfect.

We want to be accepted by someone for who we are. When we aren’t, we try to prove ourselves. We say, “I’m worth something, aren’t I? Why doesn’t anyone else think so. I’ll show them that I’m worth something”. The acceptance we find fails or will fail eventually, because the place that we are looking is not perfect.

We want to be competent. We want to prove our worth. We don’t want to admit that we need help, because that implies weakness. The competence that we find fails or will fail eventually.
---------------------------------------------------------
Breakout Session Guide D.L. stands for Discussion Leader -
Have you thought about what we’ve been talking about here over the last couple of weeks? Have you recognized your needs and how they effect the things that you do?
D.L. notes:
Encourage the teens to think about this stuff outside of The Grip. We are talking about
real life stuff.
Ask, “How have your needs been effecting the things you do?”

What do you think that we expect from you here at The Grip?
D.L. notes:
Encourage the teens to be honest about what they really feel when they walk in the door
here. This is an opportunity to communicate our expectations: We expect them to be
themselves. The person that they are at school; around their friends; whoever the real
person is, that’s what we expect.

What happens to relationships when we fail to recognize our need for the other person?
D.L. notes:
This question gets at how our actions effect others. How does it feel for someone to say,
“I don’t need you.” Froto and Bilbo Baggins in the water at the end of the 1st movie.
Froto wanted to go alone, but Bilbo wouldn’t let him. Bilbo new that Froto needed him.

What are some things that you can do well, and what are some things that you need help with?
D.L. notes:
Start by talking about things that they can do. Who can cook, change oil, algebra, etc…?
Next ask what do they need help to do? Are relationships an issue for you (something
you need help with?
Don’t spend a lot of time here

What about when it comes to making moral decisions? What about when comes to your life after you die?
D.L.notes:
Let them answer the questions, and then read Romans 7:18-25 Take this opportunity to
share a little about the struggles that you go through. Making decisions (right vs. wrong)
How does your relationship with Christ help you through that?

Needs (part 2) - The Need to Belong

2007-03-03T11:20:00.000-08:00

Scripture references –
Matthew 26:69-74 (Peter disowns Jesus)

Have you ever asked yourself why you do the things that you do?
Why did I act like a jerk to that girl? She just wanted to sit at the lunch table with us. She’s not exactly stylish, but that’s okay. Isn’t it?

Why is being accepted by people so important?

We have a need to belong. We need to feel accepted. When that need isn’t met naturally or in a way that we like we do something about it.

In the aftermath of the Columbine shooting, it was said:
“Far too many kids can't make it through American adolescence without detouring to the dark side of our culture and going to war against the world in which they feel so aggrieved, rejected, humiliated and alienated.”

Some people do some pretty extreme things to be accepted by others.
Street Gangs – Chilling gang rituals: slashing defenseless strangers, breaking buddies' bones, raping and murdering innocent girls - these are rights of passage for many teenagers looking towards gang culture for a sense of belonging. The gang culture crosses racial lines and doesn't stop at the city limits. In Marathon County, Wisc., a basement is now a torture chamber, as seen on a video of a gang initiation used as evidence. The tape was seized by deputies who were stunned by the savagery. They were also shocked that these kids called themselves The Gangster Disciples. That is the same name used by an inner-city gang in Houston. In fact, both groups were "jumped into" gang culture by evil emissaries of the real Gangster Disciples, whose home turf is in Chicago. The Wisconsin wannabes were so obsessed with becoming "real" gangsters that they sent a copy of this video to their Chicago mentors to make sure they got everything right. On the Chicago streets, the need to belong was carried to a hideous extreme. A 12-year-old boy, nicknamed Baby Jo-Jo, was desperate to join the Latin Saints street gang because, as he said, "it's so cool." He walked up to two boys, non-gang members, in front of a church and shot them as the church's' minister looked on. Sexual brutality is also implicit in gang rituals and some girls even submit to it willingly. At the insistence of her boyfriend, a gang leader, Sarah was pummeled in the bloody Wisconsin basement. She badly wants to be part of the gang. Neither she nor her boyfriend seems to care that she is pregnant. Another girl is about to be "sexed in" to a gang. It is a ritual so vile that Fox Files can't describe it, much less show it. The girl is barely in her teens. Sadly, even after her sexual humiliation, the girl feels she got off light. "I'm just glad I didn't have to do the other initiation," the unnamed girl explains. "Stab someone up, y'know, or something else."

Story –
Everyday Isabel would walk into the lunchroom during lunch and look. She had finally convinced her mom to brown bag her lunch. Her mom was still using the Barbie lunchbox she got at a garage sale when she was 8. She really wanted her mom to get her on the meal plan, but her mom was already working 2 jobs just to pay the mortgage and the bills. Isabel had 2 pairs of jeans, 3 shirts, and 1 nice dress. She tries her hardest to mix and match the clothes so that people don’t notice that she’s wearing the same pants 2-3 times a week. She’s very shy, and new in school. So she stands at the door of the lunchroom and looks. She is hoping that someone will notice her, and ask her to come and eat with them. But, everyday it is the same. Nobody sees her, and nobody calls her name. She finds a spot against the wall, out of the way, and eats her peanut butter and jelly sandwich. She watches the other kids eat and laugh. A fight breaks out on the other side of the room between two guys. A third guy jumps in to protect his friend. Would anyone protect me, she wonders? Would anyone care? She sees the pretty girls eating their pizza and pudding. She wishes she could be like them. Finally, one of them looks at her. Isabel, then realizes that she is talking about her. The girl begins to laugh and then the rest of them look at Isabel and begin to laugh. Isabel thinks to herself, “Oh well, at least they know I exist.”

Weak-legged tripod –
Our lives are like a tripod. Each leg represents a basic need that we have.
(Love; Acceptance; Competence)
The stability of those legs affects what we do and what kind of person we are.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Breakout Session Guide D.L. stands for Discussion Leader –
Recap –
Last week we talked about our need for love. We looked at what a true and pure love looked like. What were some characteristics of love that we talked about?
D.L. note –
1 Corinthians 13:4-8a ‘Love is…Love NEVER fails.’
The ultimate intent of the Needs series is for the teens to recognize that at some point
love will fail them (whether it is from parents or friends). A love that will not fail is the
love that God has for us through a relationship with him. The intent of this series is not
to discuss the different types of love. The focus is on the fragility of the love that we
seek through human relationship…Try not to spend a lot of time here.

What is the craziest thing that you have ever done to be liked by someone (meanest, kindest)?
D.L. Note –
During this discussion, briefly interject the story of Peter denying Christ.
Matthew 26:69-74. As we are looking towards Palm Sunday and Easter, this story is
appropriate. Follow up the story with a question about them and their friends. Have you
ever pretended not to know hang out with someone or has someone ever done that to
you?

(Question for guys) When was the last time you let your mom kiss you in front of your friends?
D.L. Note –
This question gets at recognizing how we treat other people, because we are looking out
for ourselves and meeting our own needs.

Have you ever encountered someone like Isabel or have you ever been like Isabel? What was that like? How did you feel?

Needs (part 1) - The Need to Be Loved

2007-03-03T11:16:00.000-08:00

Name 10 love songs – (write the titles on the white board)

Pseudo-Pictionary
2 Volunteers
Instructions –
The two volunteers will step out of the room. I will give the group the name of an object. The two volunteers will come back in. Each will go to the whiteboard and try to draw the picture as the group gives them instructions.

We all have 3 basic needs that define who we are, how we are, what we do.
The first one is the need to be loved. (Who needs some lovin’? GEORGE)
1 Volunteer (who can write fast and neat)
Divide the group (Media / Friends / Parents, Teachers)
Tell “X” what love is, what it looks like, and where to find it.

It’s that big hole that’s right in the middle.

I looked for love in relationships – A natural place to look, right?
A different girlfriend every year of high-school
Every one of them ended in serious pain, either for me or her.
Of course, there was always mom and dad
My mom and dad both love me very much. Our relationship has changed as I’ve gotten older, but we still have a special relationship. I can always depend on my parents for love.
What about when they are gone?

This is what I see –
The need for love is at the core of who we are. We can make or break a person’s day by giving it or by withholding it.
What are our responses to the need –
1) Deny the need exists.
2) Have sex (make love).
3) Allow yourself to be abused (physically or emotionally).
We live in a world where false love is put out there as the real thing. Lives are destroyed because of it. Teenage girls are getting pregnant all the time, because they think they’ve found love. Or if they give it up, then they will have ‘earned’ the right to be loved. Teenagers go into depressions all the time because they can’t find that love that they need.

Where is that perfect love that will not let you down, that love that will not hurt or abuse you, that love that will be there forever?
------------------------------------------------
Breakout Session Guide –
What do you think about what we’ve been talking about tonight? Does this hit home for you?

Where are you looking for love?

What do you see when you look at the lives of your peers? What are they doing to get love?

Some verses to guide you in your discussion.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
John 3:16
John 15:13

The Journey (Part 3) - If You Seek...

2007-03-03T11:05:00.000-08:00

MY JOURNEY IS MY JOURNEY!!!

What does that mean?
NOONE can make decisions for me.
NOONE can force me to believe anything I don’t want to.
NOONE is responsible for my journey except for ME.

There is no SHAME in the journey.

BUT there is URGENCY in the journey.

I need 5 volunteers:
1 – Say, “Pfft”
2 – Say, “Excuse me”
3 – Say, “Ah man”
4 – Say, “Ahhhhhhhhh”
5 – Say, “gurgle, gurgle, gurgle”
There once was a boy named Billy. Billy was about 14 years old when a terrible thing happened to him. Billy had just been to 7-eleven. He bought a pack of ‘Big League Chew’ bubble gum (original flavor), a pack of 2 slim-jims (the spicy kind), and a 72oz. Big Gulp of Mountain Dew (for 50 cents). Billy finished the pop in about 5 minutes. He ate the slim-jims in 2 minutes. Then he went to the theater to watch X-men 2.
½ way through the movie he felt something move (5), and then he felt a huge pain in his gut. He was really into the movie and didn’t want to leave, but he knew that he must. He began curiously seeking for the nearest exit. He stood up and as he stood up he made a noise (1). He said (2). People didn’t know whether he needed to get by or he was being polite after making his noise. He ran out of the theater (1) (1) (1) (2) (1) (1) (1) (2) (2). That’s when he noticed that the girl he wanted to ask to the dance was walking out at the same time and heard it all. (3) he thought, but that wasn’t that important to him right now. He knew what he needed help. He ran through the theater to the ticket window. He said (2) (1) I have a problem. My body is making funny noises and my gut hurts (1). I need help. The girl said, “No. You need a bathroom.” He said, “Where do I (1) find one of those?” “Go Inside.” He headed into the lobby. He found the old guy with tattoos taking tickets. He ran up to him (1) (2) (1) (1) (1……) (2). He said (2), My body is making funny noises and my gut hurts (1). The girl outside said that I need a bathroom. Where is (1) that? (2)? He said, “It’s over there.” Billy asked, “What do I do when I get there?” The man said, “Just sit down and relax.” Thanks. Billy didn’t know what to do, “Do I finish the movie or do I go to the bathroom.” I paid 9 bucks for this movie, “I’m watching it. I can take the pain. Besides it will go away eventually.” So he ran back into the theater (1) (1) (1). And then he heard the grossest noise he had ever heard, “#1 (1) became a real nasty #2 (3).

Alternative ending:
Billy asked, “What do I do when I get there?” The man said, “Just sit down and relax.” Thanks. Billy didn’t know what to do, “Do I finish the movie or do I go to the bathroom.” I paid 9 bucks for this movie, but if I don’t go now, there’s no telling what might happen. So Billy ran to the bathroom (1) (1) (1) (1). He found a seat, sat down, and relaxed (4).

Questions are OK.
People are always looking for answers.
Why do I have to go back to school? How can that guy be such a jerk, and still have girls like him? Who am I? Why is the grass green? How could God allow my dad to abuse me? Why is life so hard? If everyone says I’m pretty, then why do I feel so ugly? If God is love, then why do I have to hear my parents fight all the time? Why can’t I see God? Why would God make me? Is Jesus really God, like He said?
Can I really have a relationship with Him?

Luke 11:9-10
I say to you, “ASK and it will given to you; SEEK and you will find; KNOCK and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, RECEIVES; and he who seeks, FINDS; and to him who knocks, IT WILL BE OPENED.”

Here’s a ‘what if’ to think about.
What if all of the things that the Bible says aren’t true? Then what?
What if the Bible is really what it claims to be. In 2 Timothy 2:15, it says, “…handling accurately the WORD OF TRUTH”.
What if it’s true that there really is a Heaven and there really is a Hell.
What if it’s true that you have absolutely no idea of when Jesus is coming back? 1 Thessalonians 5:2 “…thief in the night…” The Bible says that no one knows the day or the hour that Jesus will come back for those who have a relationship with Him.

If you want to find it, then you have to SEEK
If you want to receive it, then you have to ASK
The Grip is where real life and reality meet. It is where the real stuff and junk of your life meet up with the reality of a relationship with Jesus Christ. If you want to life your life the way it was meant to be lived, then step up to the plate and find your answers. Don’t stop there, though. Life’s a journey. You’re going to have to make a decision.
----------------------------------------------------------
Breakout Session Guide D.L. stands for discussion leader –
1. What are some of the questions that you have right now about God, or about Jesus? Do you have any questions about life in general?
D.L. notes – This isn’t so much a time for answering their questions as it is for
validating them. They need to know that there is nothing wrong about having
questions. You can respond by saying things like, “I’ve wondered about that too.
That’s a really good question. What do you think the answer is for that?” Be
prepared to give some examples of questions that you have had. Ex. If God loves
me then why would he allow me to be abused by my mom or dad? If God is real,
then why doesn’t He come back now? Is God real? Is the Bible really true?

2. Have you ever had any of your questions answered? How? What did you do to get them answered?
D.L. notes – The idea here is to provide them with resources for getting questions
answered. You can throw out examples from your own life – Is there someone
you trusted to give you straight answers? If you want to know something about
God, then ask someone who is close to God. Ask God Himself. Read the Bible.
Spend some time thinking about it.

3. What is a story of urgency that you have? You had to get somewhere or you had to get something done fast. You were almost there and you didn’t make it, or you made it just in time, but you needed help to get there.
D.L. notes – This is really a time for embarrassing stories or hero stories. Let
them relax and tell stories. I had to catch a plane… I had to finish my Englisht
test before the bell rang… You can throw in your own story here too. Just make it
a good one.

The Journey (Part 2) - What Will it Take?

2007-03-03T11:00:00.000-08:00

Maze (a 3 way maze) – 3 Options
1 – Don’t bother doing the maze. There’s really no point to it.
2 – Try doing the maze. Give up if you don’t feel like going any further.
3 – Complete the maze.

The journey that we are on is like the maze. You can never start, quit at any time, or follow through to the end.

Story time:
Once upon a time, there was an Ogre and a donkey sent on a journey by a king to rescue a beautiful princess from a dragon’s castle where she was being held captive.

Once upon a time, there were three Hobbit’s sent on a journey by a wizard to destroy a ring for the preservation of ‘Middle Earth’.

Once upon a time, there were three movie stars who were recruited by a small village in Mexico to rescue them from a band of evil men. The three movie stars were known as The Three Amigos.

Most of our movies and TV shows are centered around some sort of journey. There are decisions to be made, and actions that have to happen.
What happens if the wrong decision is made?
The Matrix – Neo chooses the green pill.
XXX – Vin Diesel doesn’t take the secret agent job.
Lord of the Ring – Froto leaves the ring on too long
The Wedding Planner – Jennifer Lopez marries the English guy

What happens if actions aren’t taken?
I want my money back
Nottinghill – Julia Roberts doesn’t come back to the store
Father of the Bride – The rehearsal dinner is done at the BBQ pit

In most movies, there is a point where the main character doubts. They toy with the question: Is this really worth it? Do I really want it that bad? Do I care about the person enough?

They always answer, “Yes.” If they didn’t answer, “Yes”, then we would be disappointed. We would say, “What a terrible movie. I can’t believe I wasted $9”.

That’s all fiction. It isn’t real.
In life there are several different journeys:
-Elementary, Jr. High, Sr. High, College, Career
-School’s out, Summer’s here, Disney brochure, Travel agent, airplane, hotel, Mickey
-Meet a girl/boy, Hang out, Fall in love, Get married

Then there’s the spiritual journey –
Do you know that you are on it? Have you taken responsibility for your journey?

What did you do last week on your journey?
Did you read a Bible? Did you ask someone a question? Did you talk to God?
How about the last month?
How about the last year?

On a scale of one to ten, how important is your spiritual journey to you?

What will it take for you to get interested and begin to take steps on your journey?
For some people it’s a question of value vs. effort: What will I get out of it. Is it worth my time?

If you are at the beginning of your journey –
Is the journey even real?
If it is real, then what is the consequence of not engaging the journey?
Boat illustration:

The Bible says that everyone has sinned, and continues to fall short of God’s standard of ‘good enough’. The Bible also says, that the consequence of that sin is an eternity separated from God (Hell).

Actions have consequences:
Someone who does not find it worth their time to begin to check out their spiritual journey will inevitably experience the consequence of an eternity separated from God when they die. (No decision will be made)

If you are on the journey (and have lost interest) –

The journey is full of questions and choices. It is exciting, but it takes a commitment on your part to discover the things that God has for you.

The Journey (Part 1) - Everyone's Doing it, Are You?

2007-03-03T10:53:00.000-08:00

We live in a world of expectations
What are some things that are expected of you (at school, home, friends…)
Answer the following statements: I expect you to…; I expect you not to…

Met expectations lead to praise.
Good job. I’m so proud of you.
Senior year of track – 1:57 in the ½ mile. Our ¼ mile relay team ran a 3:31.
I would love to hear my name over the speaker at school the next day when scores and times were announced. Everyone would pat me on the back…
Failed expectations lead to shame. What’s wrong with you? You can’t do anything. This is so simple, why can’t you get it, are you stupid?

That’s not the way God works. God isn’t about shame. He doesn’t shame you for doing wrong. He doesn’t approve of it, but he doesn’t look down on you for it. That’s not what the journey is about. God says, “Be holy, for I am holy.” But, when you fail, He doesn’t say, “Shame on you.” God loves you. He made you.

The journey is not about achievement or stature.

Your journey is your journey (Repeat after me, “My journey is my journey.”)
Everyone is on a journey – a spiritual journey
No one can make your decisions for you. (Why? Because, it’s not their journey)
No one can force you to believe in something. No one can force you to trust in Christ.

Where are you on your spiritual journey?
Not interested? – That’s great. Get curious.
Curiously Seeking? – That’s great. Start applying yourself.
Assertively Seeking? – That’s great. Find the answer.
Faith Commitment? – That’s great. Learn about your faith (Sunday nights @ 6pm)
Actively following? That’s great. Keep growing.
Growing in Fellowship? That’s great. Start making an impact.
Making an Impact? That’s great. Make a bigger one.

It’s your journey, and you have to take responsibility for it.
Recognize the reality of your spiritual journey.
Recognize where you are on your spiritual journey.
Identify the next step on your spiritual journey.
Take the next step on your spiritual journey.

The Storm

2007-03-03T10:05:00.000-08:00

Two women sat in the waiting room at the doctor’s office. One was very young and very shy, and tried desperately not to be noticed by burying her head in a magazine. She didn’t want to be there. She comforted herself with the thought that every other woman who sits in this room is here for help. With that thought, she knew that in some way she wasn’t alone, even though she felt isolated in her struggle. She knew that she had to think about something else before the pain in her heart began to show on her face. But it was too late. The other woman, several years older, had noticed the mist forming in the young woman’s eyes. She put her magazine down, moved slowly across the room, and sat down next to the young woman. She reached into her large purse and chuckled. She said, “I’ve got something for just about everything in this purse. I’d call it my grandma bag, except that I’m not a grandma. Let me see if there’s something in here for you.” The first thing she pulled out was a small package of tissues. By this time, the young woman had put down her magazine, and was actually amazed at everything that was in the stranger’s purse. She pulled out a couple of tissues and handed them to the young woman; who then wiped them across her eyes and crumpled them up in her right hand. Then the stranger pulled out a small envelope that said “to Meredith” on the front. The young woman could tell that this envelope had been in her purse for a long time. The paper was quite wrinkled and fragile looking. She spoke up and said, “Is Meredith your name.” The stranger nodded, and then said, “Today, Meredith is your name. Open it.” So the young woman opened the envelope, and pulled out a small piece of paper. On the paper, scribbled in pen, were the words, “It’s not your fault. You are not being punished.” Those words seemed to unlock something in the young woman’s heart, and tears began to race across her cheeks. She looked deep into the stranger’s eyes not sure of what she would find there. But then she knew that she was no longer alone in her struggle. The pain in the stranger’s eyes was just as real as hers, but there was something else there. The stranger said, “It’s been said that our eyes are the windows to our souls. What do you see in mine?” The young woman replied, “I see pain like mine, but there’s something else there that I don’t understand.” The stranger asked her, “Do you know Jesus?” The young woman was puzzled, “Well sure I’ve heard of him. I’ve been to church.” She asked the question again, “But, do you know Him?” The young woman said, “I guess I don’t understand what you are asking me.” The stranger said, “What you saw in my eyes was pain, because I do have pain, but what you didn’t understand was my hope. I’m not alone. I’ve got help. I’ve got Jesus.”

Good morning, welcome to Meadowland Community Church. We really are glad that you are here today. I’m even going to throw in a Happy 4th of July. Please be safe this weekend in whatever activities you have planned, because we really do like you. 4th of July on a Tuesday, How many of you are taking the 4 day weekend? How many of you have to go back to work tomorrow?

There could be one of a million reasons why you walked through the doors of this building today. It’s possible that you just saw the sign and came on in, or that you just really need to get back into the church thing. It could be that you walked in here this morning, because it’s what you did last Sunday and it’s what you’ll do next Sunday. Whatever your reason for being here this morning, God has a reason for you being here. You may be the answer to someone’s prayer or you may be getting a prayer answered. We all have private thoughts. Sometimes we don’t even want to really look into our own private thoughts, because the hurt may be too great or we are afraid of what we will find there. It’s possible that you may be so overwhelmed with life that you are here looking for just a sparkle of hope. I pray that you find at least that here this morning.

Let’s take a moment and ask God to teach us this morning.
Heavenly Father, we pray that your Spirit would speak into our lives today. Amen.

What a world we live in. It’s hard. This weekend is a time for celebrating our freedom as a country. This is the time in our country’s history that the Declaration of Independence was signed. Today, there are many who are experiencing the hardness of this world and how expensive freedom really is. There are hundreds of thousands of troops either in harm’s way right now or ready to go into harm’s way. There are mothers and fathers and sisters and brothers and wives and husbands and good friends who will have their celebrations haunted by the ache that is in their heart for their loved one.

I don’t think that you have to think very hard about what’s troubling you these days. I say that because, I suspect that you are possibly already thinking about it or trying not to.

Do you know what a hurt heart feels like? Do you know what it’s like to lose someone you love? Do you know what it’s like to feel helpless while someone you love just throws there life away? Do you know what it’s like to be faced with several different choices, and not know which choice is the right choice for you and your family? Do you know what it’s like to be in a situation where your world is turned on its head, and you don’t know which end is up?

Take a look at these next slides. If nothing else, they will make you laugh. In fact that’s probably all they’re good for.

You’ve heard the saying, “All pain is gain”
Agony – Not all Pain is Gain

Defeat – For every winner there are dozens of losers. Odds are you’re one of them
Do you ever feel like you just can’t get it right?

Mistakes – It could be the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning sign for others
Why is there more bad news than good news?

Misfortune – While good fortune often eludes you, this kind never misses
Why do things seem to go wrong more often than right?

Futility – You’ll always miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, and statistically speaking 99% of the shots you do.

Problems – No matter how great and destructive your problems may seem now, remember you’ve probably only seen the tip of them.
This is the last one, see if you can finish this one off.

That which does not kill me ________________ Wrong answer -
Adversity – That which does not kill me postpones the inevitable
Ok. So that probably wasn’t more than just a poor attempt at humor. Those things make me laugh, probably because of how true they seem to be. They at least describe the way that I often feel about the storms in my own life.

Every one of us sitting in this room today has been in a storm, is in a storm right now, or will be in a storm in the future. It’s so common to life that it has become cliché.
· *Life stinks
· *Such is life
· *That’s just the way it goes
· *You’re not the first and you won’t be the last
· *They say that into every life, some rain must fall
· *Pain is nature’s way of telling you that you are alive
· *When life gives you lemons, (PAUSE) *make lemonade

Storms are a part of everyone’s life. Everyone will agree to that, until it is you in the storm. I would like to read a passage of scripture to you from the book of Matthew, chapter 7, verses 24-27. Before we read this passage, I would like to give you a little backdrop on what’s going on. Jesus has come through His 40 day fast in the wilderness, He has recruited his disciples, He has been teaching in the synagogues, performing miracles, and definitely drawing a crowd. Jesus went to a mountainside and began to teach. He begins in chapter 5 verse 1, and His teaching ends in chapter 7 verse 27. He is teaching about what it means to follow Him. He is introducing some new ways of thought. Some that contradicted current standards and some that built on current standards. Jesus was teaching the way of His kingdom.

After he finishes His teaching, He says

Matthew 7:24-27
24"Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. 26But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. 27The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash."

Jesus doesn’t give us much of a choice here. You are either wise or you are foolish. There’s really not a lot of wiggle room here.

The wise man and the foolish man had three things in common and one that was drastically different.

Number 1) The wise and the fool built a house.
Both of them had a house. Everyone has a life. You have built your house. You go to school. You have a job. You are married. You are single. You have no kids. You have 6. You drive a Harley when it’s nice out. You drive a dirtbike when it’s nice out. You get up at 3AM to go to work. You work from home. You have built your house.

Number 2) The wise and the fool encountered a massive storm.
It says that the rains came down, and the streams rose. That’s a lot of rain. Then it says that the winds blew and beat against that house.
This isn’t just a little thunderstorm on the way home from the office. This is a ‘run for cover and make sure you have batteries, food and water’ storm. This shows us that storms in our lives are not always in our lives because we are doing something displeasing to God. Granted there are times when life stinks because we are reaping the consequences of our actions, but this says that the wise person is getting it just as bad as the fool.

Number 3) The wise and the fool heard Jesus teaching, and they made a decision.

The drastic difference between the two is the foundation that the house is built on.
The wise man built his house on the rock, and the foolish man built his house on the sand. Take this back into life. The wise man put into practice what he had heard, and the foolish man did not.

The issue for us is not the storm. The storm will come and the storm will go, and in some lives it will come again. The issue is the foundation that your life is built on. Is your life built on your best ideas and opinions about how this life should be lived (as good or noble as they may be) or is the foundation of your life a personal relationship with Jesus Christ?

If you don’t have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, then you are living on sand, and when the storm hits your house it will fall. If you have built your house on sand, then consider building a new house on the rock.

How do I build my house on the rock?
First, put your cornerstone in place by placing your faith in Jesus Christ as your Savior, the maker of heaven and earth.
The Bible says, “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” That means that every one of us fall short of meeting God’s standard of perfection. If you can admit that, then you are almost there. The Bible also says that because of our inability to meet God’s standards we have earned an eternity away from God. It says that the wages of sin is death, but it goes on to say that the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ paid the penalty for our sins when He died on the cross. All we have to do is accept that gift by trusting in Christ alone for our salvation. If that’s the decision that you want to make this morning, then talk to Jesus right now, and let him know. You can pray silently or out loud. Tell Him that you agree with the Bible that you are a sinner, and that you are placing your faith in His death on the cross to save you.

Second, build your foundation by following Him.
Be publicly identified with Jesus through baptism. Read your Bible. Talk to Him through prayer. Get in a small group where you can grow in your relationship with Christ with others. Get in a one on one discipleship relationship. Sign up for a training session (Connecting with Meadowland; Spiritual Gifts class; Money Management class; Bible 101; Christianity 101). Always look for what God is trying to teach you through your situation.

So the question is, “Do you know Jesus?”

I know who Jesus is. He is the author and the perfector of my faith.
I know He’s powerful -
He is the Lord of all creation. He is the one who calmed the seas, turned water to wine, made the lame walk, healed Lepers, caused blind to see, rose Lazarus from the dead. At the name of Jesus, every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that He is Lord.

I know that He loves me –
He knew me by name before I was even born. He went to the cross to pay the price for my sins. He said, “Greater love has no man than this, that he lay down his life for his friend, and you are my friend.” He is faithful even when I am faithless. He is the perfect father. He knows how to give good gifts to His children. All things work together for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. He clothes the flower, and he feeds the bird; He will care for me. No matter how dark the skies, I don’t have to worry about tomorrow.

The Bible says, Now we see through a glass dimly, but then we shall see face to face… Face to face.
I was in the biggest storm of my life. I felt abandoned by Jesus. I didn’t know which end was up. I would get angry and yell at Him, but in the bedrock of my soul, I knew Jesus. I remember standing in the kitchen of our flat in Chicago looking out at the sky. I thought of the day that Jesus Christ will come back for me. The Bible says that a trumpet will sound, and we will meet Him in the clouds in an instant. As I lived that picture in my heart, I looked into His eyes. I began to weep because I knew that when that time comes I will remember the storm, and I will know that He was there with me. He was my foundation, and I will praise Him, and I will love Him.

The issue is not the storm. The issue is the foundation. You build your foundation on the rock by following Jesus Christ. What is the foundation of your neighbor’s house like? Can you help them? Meadowland Community Church is a ministry to the unchurched families of Northern McHenry County. If what you have experienced here this morning was in any way significant to your life, then there’s a good chance that it will be significant to your neighbor who is in desperate need of a relationship with Jesus Christ. Who’s my neighbor? According to the Bible, it is anyone in need. You can share this message with them through our cd ministry or better yet, bring them with you next week to church or to your small group. In a moment we are going to remember Jesus death on the cross through taking communion. There is nothing mystical about this. There is no redemptive value here. Redemption is found through faith in Jesus Christ alone. If you have never made the decision to place your faith in Jesus as your savior, then it’s ok to let the elements pass you by. This church is a ministry where you are expected to come as you are, be who you are, and become the man or woman that God created you to be. We as a family of believers, are taking time out to reflect on the sacrifice of Jesus Christ and the change that happened in our lives as a result of it.

The Seven Checkpoints

2007-03-03T09:45:00.000-08:00

adapted from Andy Stanley's "The Seven Checkpoints"
Good morning and welcome to Meadowland. My name is John Barnett. I am the youth director here at Meadowland. Pastor Rich and his family are off on a much needed and well-deserved family vacation. This is their first vacation in at least 2 years. Building a church from scratch is a lot of work. Through a mutual friend, I met with Pastor Rich for the first time about a year and a half ago to talk about youth ministry. At the time, my wife, Saira and I lived in Chicago. A month after meeting Pastor Rich we moved out here and bought a home in this community.

There are 3 primary passions in my life. #1 is a desire for a deeper relationship with Christ. #2 is my wife and my son. #3 is working to provide teens an *opportunity to live life the way it was meant to be lived. #3 is the reason that I have been involved in youth ministry for the last ten years.

Now here we are on July 4th, Independence Day. How many of you actively think of “The Great American Dream”, Life Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness. People from all over the world still come to America in search of the American Dream. When you come to America you get LIFE. You get LIBERTY, but if you want HAPPINESS, then you have go and get it. So, what is happiness and how do we get it?

Typically we think that happy=laughing. So, I thought about what makes me laugh. I thought of the Six Flags guy and the Pepto-bismal commercial. But that’s not Real happiness. You know how it is, you’re laughing one minute, and then all of a sudden you’re angry or sad the next minute. You heard a funny joke, so you laugh. Then you get a call that a loved one has just passed away, and you cry like you’ve never cried before. You’re boss calls you into a meeting, and the HR person is sitting in there. You leave the meeting laid off. You go to the park with your kids, and you come home to find out that you were robbed. You give birth to a sweet innocent baby girl and fourteen years later you find out she’s pregnant. You stand by helplessly as your son or daughter tries to break a drug addiction. We were just laughing. What happened? Life happened.

John 10:10 – Jesus said, “I came that they might have life, and might have it abundantly”

We can only live an abundant life when we are living life the way it was meant to be lived.
Madlibs are great. You create a madlib by taking a story or statement that makes perfect sense and removing the nouns, adjectives, and verbs. Then you replace them with randomly gathered nouns adjectives and verbs.

The (adj)_______ (noun)_________ (verb pt)____________ over the (noun)________

This sentence should have read: The red fox jumped over the fence.

What goes (direction)_____ must come (direction)______.

This sentence should have read: What goes up must come down.

This is the approach that most people take to understanding life. The difference is we don’t say, "Give me a noun or a verb”. We say, “Why? What’s the reason for this?” We huddle up and come up with answers. Then we fill in the blanks and create our realities.

We have a saying, ”Perception is reality.” How can that be true. Reality is Reality. If we live our lives by the idea that perception is reality, then our lives are reduced to a perceived make-believe world that only exists in our minds.

The Grip (our youth ministry) has a tag line, “Where Real Life and Reality Meet.” That means where real life issues meet up with the reality of a relationship with a very real Jesus Christ.

True fulfillment in life comes only through a relationship with Jesus Christ. Outside of that, life is fleeting and hopeless. That doesn’t sound very happy to me.

God designed us. He knows best how we are going to be able to live a great life.
In our youth ministry we are going through something called The Seven Checkpoints. *The seven checkpoints are seven principles that every teenager needs to know. These principles are essential to the relational, emotional, and spiritual health of our teenagers. These very basic principles come straight out of the Bible.

They are:
Authentic Faith (Putting your trust in God)
Spiritual Disciplines (Seeing as God sees)
Moral Boundaries (Paving the way for Intimacy)
Healthy Friendships (Choosing friends for life)
Wise Choices (Walking wisely in a fool’s world)
Ultimate Authority (Finding freedom under God)
Other’s First (Considering others before yourself)

The first checkpoint is Authentic Faith. Am I trusting God with the critical areas of my life? Is my life perspective focused on the person of Jesus Christ or is it focused on the ever-changing circumstances around me. Bad things happen to good people. That’s life. That’s just the way it is. God has never promised us that life would not be difficult. However, He did say that He is the perfect Father who knows how to give good gifts to His children. He did say that He would never leave us, and that He causes all things to work together for good.
Proverbs 3:5-6 says.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding, but in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.

The second checkpoint is Spiritual Disciplines. Am I learning to see life the way that God sees it? When I really see life through God’s eyes, then I will understand and do what He’s telling me to do. He says, If you want a great life, then live life the way it was meant to be lived. Do what I’m saying. (Moms and Dads, I think you know what I’m talking about.) Why won’t Jimmy listen? Because he doesn’t see his world the way that you do. If he did, then you wouldn’t even be having the conversation. Our lives are so relationally disconnected. At one point in time, a parent looked at their kid with a pure unconditional love. They would do anything for that kid. Then 15 years later the kids back is covered in bruises, or they are so torn down emotionally that they will do anything and go anywhere for love and acceptance, because it obviously isn’t at home. Why not? Where did it go? What’s life like in your home? When was the last time you looked at your kid and said, “I am so proud of you.” Or “I love you, so much.” When was the last time that you snuck into your kid’s room just to watch them sleep. If we saw our kids the same way that God sees them, the way that God sees us, then can you imagine what our homes would look like. God loves you, even though… His eyes are full of compassion when He looks at you. He gave everything for you. He went through Hell for you. “While we were sinners, Christ died…for you.” Learn about it, read your Bible. If you don’t have one at home, then you do now. Take one of our blue ones as a gift. This is important. Pray to God that He would show you how to love your child or spouse. If you want joy and peace in the home, then learn to see as God sees.

The third checkpoint is Moral Boundaries. Am I establishing and maintaining godly moral boundaries? 1 Thessalonians says, “Abstain from sexual immorality” Get away from it. Have nothing to do with it. This gets to that question, “How far is too far.” God created sex and he created it to be a great thing when it’s done the way that He intended. Our teens are so confused about sex. A girl has sex, and then doesn’t understand why she feels cheap and used. Sexual purity paves the way to intimacy. Maximum purity = Maximum intimacy. The more of you that you give away before you are married, the less that you will have to offer your future spouse. Instead, sex has become a game (jelly bracelets – different colors mean different sexual acts.) They are giving themselves away. We have to have godly moral boundaries and then honor them. If you don’t set your boundaries, then someone else will. Parents you need to have this conversation with your children. Husbands you need to have this conversation with your wives, and wives with your husbands. So many lives are torn apart because of the absence of moral boundaries.

The fourth checkpoint is Healthy Friendships. For many of us the number one influence in our lives was mom and dad. That’s not the case for youth today. The number one influence today in the lives of our youth are their friends. In fact, friends are so influential that they will determine the direction and quality of our lives. As a parent, the question becomes, “Who is influencing my child?”
Proverbs 13:20 says that he who walks with the wise will become wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.
A wise person is someone who know the difference between right and wrong and chooses the right. A fool is someone who also knows the difference, but chooses the wrong despite the consequences. And if your kid is hanging out with that person, then they will suffer harm. It may be physical. It may be emotional. But it is guaranteed to happen sooner or later.
The second influence in the lives of our youth is the media (music is #1, dj’s, t.v. shows). What music does your kid listen to? If they play music, then what are they playing? What are the lyrics? Have you visited the websites? Do you know who is influencing your kids? I promise you that the musicians and djs that they are listening to have very strong opinions about life. Most media outlets communicate that sexual promiscuity is not only acceptable, but a necessity for relational fulfillment.

The third most powerful influence is you, the parents. Those of us in a position of spiritual leadership used to be the number 3 influence. Not anymore. Now, people like me are number 17 on the list. You still have an enormous amount of influence on your kids. Your kids are looking to you for leadership. They want security. Good for you if you are giving that to them. The conversations you have with them aren’t just one time deals. They need to be continual. Your life, what they see, has to back up what you are saying. What type of influence are you having?

The critical question is am I establishing healthy friendships? If my friends are going to have such a great impact on my life, then maybe I should make sure I invest in some good friendships. That’s one of the things that I appreciate about our youth ministry. Youth can come there, and be in a safe environment where they can make decisions about the direction of their life. In our REALationship groups, they can establish some good lasting relationships with other teens who will help them through the junk of life. When you hear about a REALationship group meeting, then you should be breaking speed limits to get your teen there. The other teens that are in that meeting have the potential of being the number one influencers in your teen’s life.

I have added a couple of book selections to the resource table. The blue book is for parents, and the orange book is for the teens. This is what we are discussing at The Grip. The books are available for you. I have a few left, so go back there and buy them up. These are tools to help you. If you have concern for the youth and their families in this community, then get behind this youth ministry. Get involved. Let’s talk.

So where does this pursuit of happiness really start? It all begins with having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. The Bible says, “For all have sinned, and fall short of the glory of God.” Then it says that the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ. Jesus said, I am the way, the truth, and the life. The Bible says believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved. You cannot face eternity with hope outside of a relationship with Jesus. God is the only one who has the power to save you, and make your paths straight. God is where true joy, peace and contentment begin. Pursue true happiness.

Mama Matters

2007-03-03T09:27:00.000-08:00

There was a deep sunset setting over the horizon. It caused the sky to appear in all variations of amber and crimson mixed with a sharp golden glow from the setting sun. The sun was setting on the ambitious life and activities that had occupied the day, as people were preparing for their night-time traditions. At one house a van pulled into the driveway as the garage door opened. A woman and two small boys climbed out with their soccer balls and shin guards. She opened the door to the house to be greeted by their big dog. The man inside the house had already set the table and they all sat down to eat. While they were eating, another woman two miles down the road threw a baseball to a little boy with a glove. By now it was too dark to see, so they went inside their house. She pulls out some mac&cheese and boils some water. She looks at her left hand, and prays a silent prayer that someday the right man would come along. As the water boils, so does the rage buried deep in the heart of the man three doors down. In his house, a woman cradles her own body as tears poor down her face. There are three children who sit at the table waiting for their food. They don’t appear shocked or upset. They’ve seen it plenty of times before, and by now it’s just a way of life for them. On the other side of town in a two bedroom apartment a man tucks a little girl into her bed. He leaves her room and picks up a picture of a woman, and quietly asks the Lord, “Why did you have to take her?” He closes his eyes and falls asleep. While he sleeps, a young man and young woman speed through the dimly lit streets of their town. Shortly after arriving at the hospital, the young woman prepares to give birth to a tiny little baby. As the young man walks the halls of the hospital waiting for the doctors to call him in to the room, he looks through a small window where he sees another young woman and young man holding the tiny hand of their baby that lies behind the glass of an incubator. His anxiety builds. He hears the cry of a newborn baby as he walks by another door on the floor. Finally, the nurse comes to get him, and says, “It’s time.” He sits next to his wife, watching her eyes and her lips, and gently strokes her hair. Her eyes are wet, and her lips are dry. Then the doctor removes the baby. The couple waits anxiously for the cry, and then there it is. It’s the sound of life. At this moment, nothing else seems to matter. The anxiety has fled. The young man looks at the young woman, and realizes that he is now married to someone different. He is married to a mother.

Good morning and Happy Mother’s Day. My name is John Barnett. I’m excited to be here this morning with you. I got an e-mail from my dad requesting that I come and speak here on Mother’s day. I said ok, and then I silently panicked. I’ve never spoken on a Mother’s Day before and I didn’t know where to begin. I thought that I should begin to ask around. I thought I would go directly to the source. I needed information from someone who has been a mother for many years. I began to make up a list in my head, and then I made phone call number one. No answer. Then I made phone call number two. This woman has six children. Most of them are grown already. I knew that she must have heard at least 25 Mother’s Day messages and would be able to point me in the right direction. Do you know what her answer was? “You know, John. Now that I’m thinking about it. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a Mother’s Day message. Because I always had so many kids in the nursery, I felt obligated to help.” I felt lost. I was in the Mother’s Day message labyrinth. Then it came to me. Talk to someone who has been where you are. So I called a friend of mine, who is a pastor in Chicago. He’s been a pastor for several years in churches that have mothers. So I called him up convinced that this was the phone call. This is the call that would extract me from this Mother’s Day minefield that I had found myself in. His answer, “You know, John. After many years of Mother’s Day messages, I’ve come to this conclusion. I try to be in the middle of a sermon series, and I just keep on going. We acknowledge mothers and give them flowers, but I just keep on going.” So then, I knew what I had to do. Get some more opinions. So here they are – Go through a study on all the mothers in the Bible (I thought that if I do that, I’m just robbing some Women’s retreat of great material); Nail the men (I thought, “No, they’ll get that on Father’s Day”). Then I had lunch with a friend of mine, and I asked her, “What are you doing for Mother’s Day?” She replied, “The same thing I do every Mother’s Day. I’ll get out of my house and go visit my mom.” Then she said something that hurt my heart, “I can go visit my mom anytime, but I choose to go on Mother’s Day, because it’s the worst day of my life if I stay home. My husband uses Mother’s Day to tell me what a bad mother I am.” She is one of the most caring and giving moms that I have ever met in my life. She is outstanding. Then, I knew what today had to be about. It had to be about you. I don’t know many of you on a personal level. I don’t know what mom you associated yourself with in the introductory story. I do know this, though. I know that God loves you just the way you are. I know that He knew you when He knit you together in your mother’s womb. If you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, then I know that He has promised never to leave you, and never to forsake you. I know that He will remain faithful to you even when you are unfaithful to Him. I know that nothing can separate you from His love. I know that Jesus Christ died and rose again for you. If you are a mother in this room, then I would like you to stand up where you are. If you are too embarrassed to do that, then you can stay seated. These are women who have brought life into this world. These are the women who don’t forget birthdays, and spend money and time on 1st and 2nd birthday parties that their children will never remember outside of pictures. These are the women who just by being a mom are also just about every other occupation that exists. We applaud you. You may be seated.

I remember when our son, Max, was born. He was breech and so he was coming out C-section. Saira, my wife, had been through some surgery before so she was prepared. The C-Section process was done and over in a matter of minutes. In a matter of minutes after I made sure that Max was all good (a little funky looking, but all good) nurses were giving me smelling salts to keep me from passing out, and then I lost all of my breakfast all over the floor. I continued to lose my breakfast and anything else I had inside me for the next six hours. Saira had a little bit of an itch from the spinal, but other than that, she was in great shape. I remember watching Saira interact with Max. Max, funny shaped head included, was so loved by his mom. I remember looking at Saira’s eyes in the operating room. They were filled with anticipation. It was really unfair that I got to be the first to see him. Saira is an amazing mother. She spends all day with her little boy. Often times when we talk on the phone during the day, I’ll hear Max in the background and so I’ll ask, “What are you guys doing?” “We’re playing.” I hear that, and I think, “Wow, now that takes a lot of patience and love to be able to play that much with a little boy.” Nine times out of ten whenever I think I’m seeing Max do something new, it’s old news to Saira. I love my wife, but there is an entirely different appreciation for her as a mother. I’m excited to see what Saira will be like when baby number two comes out to play. I look forward to it. We are a month away from being married for 10 years, and the last 2 years have been wonderful for me, because I am able to sit back and witness Saira’s momness. In my opinion, she’s got this mom thing down.

My family moved to a new city when I was going into 7th grade. My mom took my brother and me to meet the school counselor. I can remember in the conversation, the subject of community showers came up, and my mom said, “Is it ok if my boys wear their swimsuits in the shower?” I wanted to crawl under a chair. Then the school year started. My mom made us wear collared shirts and slacks to school. We confronted her on that a few years ago. We decided to let her off the hook on that one. She assumed that kids still dressed up to go to school. That’s only true if you are very confident or you want to be picked on by the kids who know that kids don’t dress up to go to school. My mom did feel bad.

I was never afraid of my mom growing up. I was afraid of my mom saying, “Go up to your room, and wait ‘till your father gets home.” That was never a good thing. I can’t remember a time when I ever talked back to my dad – my dad may remember a time or two. However, I know I did my fair share of arguing with my mom. I remember walking through the door after school, and my mom asked me a question about something, and she didn’t like the answer. She began to correct me. The conversation had ended, and I would turn to go upstairs to my room, and my mom would say, “Now don’t be mad about this.” I would say, “I’m not”. She would say, “Yes you are. I can see it.”
- Mom, I’m not mad. I’m just going upstairs.
- Yes you are mad
- No I’m not
- John, yes you are and the only person you should be mad at is yourself.
- But I am not mad
- Yes you are
- Well I am now.
- Now go up to your room, and wait till your father gets home.

I love my mom. I can remember a conversation that she and I had about 5 years ago. I was going through a time that was filled with anxiety. Ironically, I don’t remember what it was even about, but I do remember that my mom gave me the advice and counsel that I needed. She told me that I had to let go. I had to be willing to simply trust in God for the outcome. I kept coming back with excuses, and she just kept telling me the same thing. I hung up the phone and sat down on my bed, and I was angry. She had asked what was going on, and so I told her. I didn’t want all of this advice. Besides, I already know all of that stuff. Then I let go, and chose to be willing to trust God for the outcome. My mom was right.

The Bible says that if you are mom, then you are to be honored
You are to be honored through the WISE CHOICES and OBEDIENCE of your children.

I would like to direct this next portion to everyone in this room who have moms.

As sons and daughters, the decisions that we make will either bring honor to our moms or they will bring grief.

The Bible frequently contrasts two types of people – The Wise and The Fool
I would like you to respond to this question to yourself. Maybe even write down the answer that you think is true. Are you the wise or are you the fool?

Now let me define the difference between the Wise and the Fool

The Wise is someone who knows what is right and wrong and chooses the RIGHT
The Fool is someone who knows what is right and wrong and chooses the WRONG regardless of the consequences.

Are you the wise or are you the fool?
Proverbs 10:1
A wise son brings joy to his father, but a foolish son brings grief to his mother.
Proverbs 15:20
A wise son brings joy to his father, but a foolish man despises his mother.

Proverbs 13:20
“He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.”

The Bible is interesting here, because not only is God saying, “Don’t be a fool.” He’s saying don’t even hang out with fools. If you do, then you will suffer harm.

The irony of this situation – As you are sitting here listening to this, most of you have it in your minds that you are the wise one. I would expect you to think that way. Why? No one wants to be called a fool. But it’s not whether you want to be a fool or not that makes you a fool. It’s the choices that you make.

Proverbs 1:8 gives you some of the guidance that you need to be able to make those right choices. It says …do not forsake your mother’s teaching.

A well-known verse in Ephesians 6:1,2 gives it to you straight.
Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
Honor your father and mother – which is the first commandment with a promise.

Your mom deserves to be honored by you. The way that you honor your mom is by making wise choices and by being obedient to her. If you want to make this a good Mother’s Day for your mom, then that’s all you have to do. Honor her by making wise choices and being obedient. If you don’t know what the wise choice is, then do what Proverbs 13:20 says: Walk with the wise. Find someone who does make wise choices, and become their friend.

I’ve been involved in youth ministry for over 10 years now. Being involved in youth ministry, I have had several conversations with moms. I want to tell you three things that I have learned about moms 1) Your mom loves you. She always has, and she always will. 2) probably the most important for you to understand Your mom is not in your way. She’s not in your way of having fun. She’s not in your way of being successful. She’s not in your way of living your life. She will not sit up tonight wondering how she can make your life miserable tomorrow. More than likely, if she’s sitting up at night. She may be wondering, How can I talk to my child about the relationship they are having with their girlfriend or boyfriend? How do I confront my child with the joint that I found in the garbage? How do I tell my child that their dad is leaving us? How do I tell my child that our family is moving to another state, and they will have to make new friends? How do I talk to my child? How do I talk to my little baby that’s all grown up, and not have them hate me or reject me? What do I need to do to let my child know that I am on their side? Your mom is not in your way. 3) Your mom would still wipe a boogey off your face. That’s right; that’s gross. I certainly wouldn’t wipe the boogey off your face. I might not even tell you it’s there, but your mom would. This is a special day for your mom. Make it a special day for her. Then let that spill over into tomorrow and maybe even the day after that.

Insanity - Life in Pursuit of a Lie

2007-03-03T09:19:00.000-08:00

There was a boy who didn’t know his name.

You see, one day the boy was climbing the ladder into his tree house. The tree house was about half way up the tree. When he was in the tree house he could see all the way to the schools football field. He never had to buy a ticket to the game. The boy didn’t notice that some of the wood on the ladder had begun to rot. He was almost to the top when the inevitable happened. He fell through the rotten ladder headfirst onto the paved pathway leading to the garage.

Both of his wrists snapped as they reached out to cushion the fall. They may have helped a little, but his head took most of the impact as the rest of his body fell limp to the ground. He had fractured the bones in his neck and pinched off the nerves that told his brain that he had legs and arms and feet and hands. His body was paralyzed instantly. He lay there on the cold paved ground for what seemed like hours. The next thing that he knew he was staring into the face of a man. He knew that he should know this man, but he didn’t. Something about his face was so familiar.

Eventually, the doctor came in with the results from the myriads of tests that they had done while the boy was seemingly unconscious. The boy had suffered a concussion, which resulted in memory loss. His entire body was paralyzed with faint hope for recovery.

He saw a tear run down the face of the man standing next to him. Eventually, the boy was released from the hospital. The man took him to his home. It was a beautiful home. There was a beautiful house with a large garage. As he was removed from the car, he could see a tall oak tree. Half way up the tree was a tree house. He noticed that the ladder was broken towards the top. As the man pushed the boy’s wheelchair down the pathway to the house, the boy noticed a large red stain. He knew that something awful had happened here.

As the weeks went by, the boy watched as the man repaired the ladder and washed the pathway until the stain was gone. The man sat with the boy everyday. He fed him, he bathed him, he dressed, and he loved him. In time, the boy learned of what had happened. He knew that it was his blood on the pavement. He had broken the ladder. It was because of him that this man, his father, had to spend his time caring for him. When he understood this, he began to cry. His father reached out his hand and wiped his face. He kissed him of the forehead, and said, “Son, I love you.”

Good morning, my name is John Barnett, I would like to welcome you this morning. The majority of the Bible references made in this message will be presented on the screen. You are welcome to follow along in your Bibles. The page number will be referenced on the screen, if you are using one of our guest Bibles. If you do not have a Bible at home, then please take one of our guest Bibles home with you today as our gift to you. There is an insert in your bulletin that is prepared to assist you in following along with message.

I’d like to start off with a thought
Insanity – Doing the same things the same way; expecting different results

I open my silverware drawer, and look for a pencil. I don’t find one. That’s okay. I’ll just close the drawer.
I open the silverware drawer, and look for a pencil. I don’t find one. That’s okay. I’ll just close the drawer.
I open the silverware drawer, and look for a pencil. I don’t find one. That’s okay. I’ll just close the drawer.
I open the silverware drawer, and look for a pencil. I don’t find one. That’s okay. I’ll just close the drawer.

The reality of the situation is that there is no pencil in my silverware drawer. Until the reality changes, there will be no pencil in the drawer.

How will reality change? Will it change because I think hard enough that a pencil should be in my silverware drawer? No. Will it change because Saira walks by and says, “John, there is a pencil in the silverware drawer.”? No. A pencil will not be in that silverware drawer until someone comes along and puts a pencil in that silverware drawer.

I have another option. Instead of looking in the silverware drawer for the pencil that isn’t there, I can look in the pencil holder on the counter. Another way of putting that is: Instead of living in a reality that doesn’t exist, I can live in the reality that does. You hear or maybe you even say, “Perception is reality”, but that isn’t true. There is only and can only be one reality.

To illustrate that point: I have flown in many different airplanes in my life. I go up in an airplane and I come down in an airplane. Here’s the difference between my friend, Eric Turnrose, and I. When Eric goes up in an airplane, he opens the door and jumps out. So let’s say that I go up in an airplane with Eric, and let’s say that I’m going to open the door and jump out. We open the door and I see a fluffy white cloud. This is the perception that I have of that cloud. I’ve seen the Care Bears cartoon. They live on clouds. I can jump out of this airplane and jump onto that fluffy white cloud. So now I’m going to impress Eric. I don’t need that parachute. I’ve got my fluffy white cloud. And so I jump… It’s not long before my gleeful cheer turns into a blood curdling scream as my 200 pound body plummets towards the earth. To leave you with a happy feeling, Eric jumps out of the airplane makes his body aerodynamic. He cuts through the air, just like a hot knife through butter. He grabs me and hooks me onto himself. He pulls the chord, and we all live happily ever after.

Life in pursuit of a lie:
I believe with all my heart that my address is 536 Fox Ridge Drive, Fox Lake, IL 60020. Today after the service, I am going to go to 536 Fox Ridge Drive, Fox Lake, IL 60020. I will put my key in the lock. It won’t work. I’ll wonder what is wrong with the lock. I will ring the door bell. I will wonder why a man I’ve never met before is in my house. I will walk in the house. He will probably become slightly agitated or at least very confused. I won’t understand why. I’ll call for Saira. The man will look at me as if I’m crazy. After a lengthy conversation, with the police, I decide that my best option is to leave my house, and go with them to the station. The police process me, and send me on my way. So I get in my car and guess where I go… *(536 Fox Ridge Drive). No of course not. Weren’t you guys listening. I don’t live at 536 Fox Ridge Dr. Didn’t you hear everything that I just happened to me when I went to the wrong house. I’m going to get in my car and drive to 536 Fox Ridge Drive. I will put my key in the lock. It won’t work.

What I just described sounds absolutely ludicrous. Maybe you were wondering when I would realize that I was at the wrong house. So far, I’ve looked for a pencil that wasn’t there. I tried to jump on a fluffy white cloud, and I don’t know where I live. So what’s the point.

Many of us in this auditorium this morning are spiritually insane and living in pursuit of a lie. We will be presented with the truth, but will walk out and continue to pursue a lie.

In John 10:10, Jesus says, “I have come that you might have life, and that you might have it abundantly.” What we are talking about today is at the center of living a good life. You will not be able to experience the life that God has intended for you outside of the truths that we will discuss this morning.

Lie #1 – Your eternal destination is dependent on the way you live your life on this earth.

In the book of Ephesians, the apostle Paul writes these words to the Christians in Ephesus, those who had placed their faith in Jesus Christ as their Savior

Ephesians 2:1,4-9
1. And you were dead in your transgressions and sins
4. But because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy,
5. Made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in our transgressions – It is by grace you have been saved.
6. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with Him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus.
7. In order that in the coming ages He might show the incomparable riches of His grace, expressed in His kindness to us in Christ Jesus.
8. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God –
9. Not by works, so that no one can boast.

Lie #1 – Your eternal destination is dependent on the way you live your life on this earth.

A friend passes away, a co-worker passes away, someone famous passes away, a loved one passes away. People begin to grieve. They weep for what has been lost. Most remember the good things. The regrettable things seem to lose their significance. Somewhere in this process, eternity comes into view, and someone says, “I know they are in heaven, because they were such a good person. They were always at church. They were baptized when they were a baby. They deserve to be in Heaven.” And so the perceptions continue. The wondering continues. The question that is really being asked is, “What is reality?” How can I know for sure? What can I place my hope on? The Bible says in the book of Revelation, “These things have been written that you may know for certain that you have eternal life.” So what does the Bible say about this:

Romans 3:23
…all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.

To paraphrase that verse:
…all have messed up and continue to fall short of God’s standard of perfection

Someone, somewhere came up with a saying that sums this up, “Nobody’s Perfect”

Romans 6:23
The wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

The penalty of your sin and my sin is an eternal separation from God. Now lest we be discouraged and frustrated, allow me to draw your attention to the comma. Following the comma, sits one of the biggest buts in the Bible. You see the Bible is a story from start to finish about the relationship between God and man. In Genesis, God created man. He gave us one rule. Do not eat the fruit from the tree in the middle of the garden. You must not touch it, or you will die. Guess what happened. They ate it, and their sin destroyed the relationship that they had with God. The rest of the Bible, is the story of God’s endless pursuit of man and the renewal of that relationship. Sin stood in the way. The wages of sin is death. (comma) BUT the gift of God is eternal life is Christ Jesus our Lord.

John 3:16,17 – For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.
For God did not send His son to the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him.

The world was already condemned. Sin was already here. Jesus was not sent to this earth to show us why we are condemned. He was sent to save us. He was sent here to die.

Maybe some of these things are coming together for you. Maybe you have also heard that Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
The penalty for your sin, the price for your sin has been paid in full through Jesus Christ’s death on the cross. He proved His power over death through his resurrection. He offers to you that payment as a gift. The gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

A gift must be received. And this is how you receive this gift. In the book of Acts, the apostle Paul is confronted by a question from a Roman guard, “What must I do to be saved?” Paul’s answer was simple. “Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved.” The good news is this: Jesus Christ came down to earth, was put to death on a cross, was buried, and in three days He rose again.”

Everyone of us has a choice to make – What will you do with Jesus Christ? Will you accept the gift of salvation? Will you place your trust in Jesus Christ or will you continue to try and get to Heaven on your own lost in a faulty perception of reality? That decision is up to you.

Things aren’t any different now than they were back then… Why do you think that Paul had to write in his letter to the Ephesians – For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – Not by works, so that no one can boast.

Truth #1 Salvation is a gift.

You think you are seeking out God, but in reality he is seeking you. He is drawing you to Himself.

There may come a point in your life when you recognize your need for Jesus Christ. That point may be right now sitting right here. Place your faith in Jesus Christ as your savior. Pray to Him (say to Him), Jesus, I need you in my life, I cannot save myself. I am trusting in you. You paid the price for my sins already. I accept that gift as my payment.

When you do that, the Holy Spirit comes into your life.
Ephesians 1:13
… Having believed, you were marked in Him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit.

You are sealed in Him. There is nothing that can separate you from Him.
The seal is a symbol of authority. During this time, when a document or location was to be protected or made secure, someone in a high position of authority would place their seal on it. That meant that noone except for the owner of the seal or someone with greater authority could break the seal. If you have placed your faith in Jesus Christ as your savior, then God has sealed your life with the Holy Spirit. There is no greater authority than God. That means that noone can break that seal on your life, not even you. That’s pretty amazing stuff right there.

So are you stuck in the pursuit of a lie?
Are you trusting in your personality or your selfless acts of service for your salvation? Are you believing that Hell really doesn’t exist and that when you die you will just be with God in Heaven by default? Or are you willing to choose today to step out of a spiritually insane perception and into reality, into truth.?

Lie #2 – God’s expression of love and acceptance in your life is dependent on the way you live your life on this earth.

Why do you do good? How do you respond when you do bad?

We’ve already established that the way I live my life does not effect my eternal destination. So that can’t be it.

Maybe it’s because when I do wrong, when I sin, I experience a feeling called shame. I see how perfect and holy God is. When I see how perfect He is, I see how imperfect I am. How could God love me? How could God accept me? Why would God possibly want to use me in someone else’s life?

Shame is a byproduct of Sin. Adam and Eve felt shame instantly. When the reality of their situation hit them, they hid themselves. When I sin, I feel dirty. I am not worthy to be in the presence of God. I am not worthy to spend time with Him. I am not worthy.
That’s true… You are not worthy. I’m not worthy, but God says, “I love you, even though”
To shame someone is to say that because you did __________, you are “Less Than”. God never says that to you. He never says that to me. Yes, we may do the wrong things. We may do the right things, but have the wrong motives in our hearts. Often times, there are consequences to our actions. God looks at sin and calls it sin, but God never looks at you and calls you “less than”.

Let me share with you some things that God says in response to that. He knows that we are going to feel that way. He knows that we are going to withdraw ourselves from Him, because of our feelings or shame or inadequacy.

Romans 8:38,39
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

2 Timothy 2:13
If we are faithless, he will remain faithful…

Truth#2 - There is no shame with God.
So if you are telling me that my actions do not effect my eternal destination or the expression of God’s love and acceptance in my life, then why would I be concerned about doing the right thing.

The worth of my works is not based on what I do; It is based on why I do what I do.

In 2 Corinthians 5:14 Paul writes,
…Christ’s love compels us…
My actions, my striving to bring pleasure to God is a response to who He is and to what He has done in my life. Christ’s love compels me.

I follow God’s commands; I earnestly seek after God’s purpose for my life; I do what I do because I love Him. I can do nothing else.

My service, my sacrifice, my obedience is an act of worship.
In Romans 12:1
In view of God’s mercy, offer your bodies (offer your lives; offer yourselves) as living sacrifices to God…

If you have never placed your faith in Jesus as your savior do that today. Just tell him that you need him. Tell him that you are trusting in Him for your salvation, and not yourself anymore. I promise you that he will save you.

If you have been afraid of God, because of choices that you have made. If you have been feeling less than. Know that God doesn’t see you as less than. He wants to help you. He wants to love you. He says that if we confess our sins; he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. He’ll get rid of the mess.

You heard the story in the beginning of this message. You may have been feeling sad because the boy’s life had been changed forever by one moment. You may have been angry that the father hadn’t noticed or fixed the ladder before that moment. You may have immediately spiritualized the story, and placed yourself in the boys place. You may have felt and thought a lot of things, but noone ever shamed that boy. You felt compassion for that boy. You found a special place in your heart for a moment for this fictional character.

If you being imperfect, can respond that way to that fictional story, how much more can your heavenly father, being perfect respond to you

Honor Your Father and Mother

2007-03-03T08:49:00.000-08:00

There were four men sitting around a picnic table in the park. They weren’t just four random men, but four generations of men from the same family. The first man was 80 years old. The second man was 58. The third man was 25. The fourth man was only 5. The 5yr old scooted real close to his dad. His dad put his arm around him, and pulled him up into his lap. The 5yr old felt safe and so he relaxed and laid his head on his dad’s chest. Then Grandpa said to dad, “You know, Son, I remember pulling you up into my lap when you were that big. It’s funny how things change as we get older.” Then the Grandpa looked next to him at his own father who was getting much older. He said, “Dad, can you still remember when I was that big?” The old man looked at his son, and in a slow steady voice he said, “Son, I remember the day you were born, and the day that you took your first step. I remember when you got your first tooth. I remember holding your mother on your first day of school. I remember it all just like it was yesterday.” Sitting not too far away on a bench was another man. His head was getting gray. He was sitting alone obviously deep in thought. He had just come from visiting his father at the nursing home. His dad was a belligerent old man who for his entire life had never showed any emotion unless it was anger, rage or bitterness. This man had been emotionally and physically abusive to him as long as he could remember. He thought it would get better as he got older, but it never did. He didn’t know why he bothered caring about the old man anymore. But he did know why. Just before his mother died she asked one thing from him. Look after your father.

The Bible says, Honor your father and mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you.

That story doesn’t leave you with a good feeling. Does it? In fact, that story almost leaves you with a pit in your stomach. Most of us are probably thinking right now about our families. Some of us could picture ourselves sitting around the picnic table talking to our dads. Some of us were probably thinking about our own children and remembering like it was yesterday. Some of us may be wondering what our dad’s or our mom’s would say if they were sitting around that table. Then, on the other hand, some of us were relating more to the man sitting all alone on the bench. All we remember about our dads are the fits of rage and the abuse. It hurts even now to remember it. We’ve blocked it out of our past, because it’s too painful to deal with the fact the man or the woman who is supposed to protect me and provide for me and love me would hit me or would degrade me by yelling at me as if I were their unworthy slave instead of their son or daughter. They called me names. They would say, “What is wrong with you?” Still there are some of us who never knew our birth mothers or our birth fathers. For whatever reason, they were not around when I was growing up. We all have different stories and memories of our parents, don’t we?

Honor your father and mother.

We are literally smack dab in the middle of our series on growing a strong family. I need to tell you something interesting about being smack dab in the middle of the 10 commandments. I don’t want to take for granted that you know what the 10 commandments are so I’ll briefly tell you the story. God’s chosen people, the Israelites had been enslaved by the Egyptians. God worked through a man named Moses to free them. He then led them across deserts. He provided a large cloud to lead them by day, and a pillar of fire to lead them at night. He led them to the base of a mountain named Mount Sinai. Moses climbed to the top where God spoke to him, and gave him stone tablets. On the tablets were 10 Commandments. The first half of the commandments are focused on our relationship with God, and the reverence and the awe that we must have for Him, because of who He is and who we are. The last half of the commandments is focused on our relationships with one another. So today we look at our families and specifically our relationships with our mothers and our fathers.

I don’t know if you have ever seen Bill Cosby doing his comedy routine on raising kids. He has one section where he’s having a conversation with his son, and he says, “I brought you into this world and I’ll take you out.” I thing he was thinking of Exodus 20:12 – Not the Honor your father and mother part, but the last part, “That your days may be long”. I think it’s funny in the movies (actually probably more like Lifetime shows ‘Yes, I know about Lifetime. I’m married. It comes with the territory.) In these shows the nice, very homely, Christian lady gets really mad, and says, “Well… I never, If I wasn’t a God-fearing woman…” Then there’s the Honeymooners, “Why I oughta….” But you don’t, and that’s probably a very good thing.

Raise your hand if you have ever had one of those moments with your kids.

Growing up, I remember a recurring conversation with my mom or my dad. It was typically with my mom. Actually, it was always my mom, because I can’t remember a single time in my life when I ever lipped off to my dad. My mom would correct me for something that I had done. She would try to talk to me about it. I would get a little upset about the conversation, and begin to go up to my room to do a little bit of sulking. As I would walk out of the room, my mom would say,
“Now don’t get mad about this.”
“I’m not” I would say.
“Yes, you are. I can see it.”
“No, mom. I’m not mad. I’m just going upstairs.”
I really wasn’t mad. I was upset but I was dealing with it
“You have no reason to be mad.”
“I’m not mad”
“Yes, you are”
“No, I’m not”
“Yes, you are”
“Mom, I’m not mad”
“Yes, you are”
“Well, I am now”
Then I would go upstairs. But as I would be heading upstairs, I would hear my mom say, “You can stay in your room and cool down, and wait ‘till your father gets home.”
My youngest brother was waiting in his room once, he knew that he was going to get it. But he had a plan. He put on about 10 pairs of underwear in preparation for the big event. He probably let out some fake tears when the event happened, but my parents never knew about the underwear trick until my mom found 10 pairs of underwear inside eachother in the laundry. We all love that story.

But we’re supposed to honor our parents. That’s an actual command straight from the mouth of God. Here’s what I love about this. He spends all of this time in Exodus 20 explaining what it means to not have any idols, and to not take His name in vain, and to remember the Sabbath and keep it holy, and then comes verse 12.

Honor your father and mother.

That’s followed by: You shall not murder. You shall not commit adultery. You shall not steal. You shall not bear false witness.

God doesn’t find it necessary to explain himself on those. He’s saying, “What about you shall not murder don’t you understand? What about you shall not commit adultery don’t you understand? What about honor your father and mother don’t you understand?”

In Leviticus 19:3, God repeats himself, “Every one of you shall reverence his mother and his father, and you shall keep My Sabbaths.” Why? “Because I said so, “I am the Lord your God.”

It’s ironic isn’t it? What is the most frustrating thing that your child can say when you instruct them to do something besides, “no”? They say, “Why?” They expect you to give them a reason. As parents we don’t appreciate that. We want to respect that they are curious, and they want to understand the reasoning behind our instructions, but we want them to respect us, and do what we ask, because we are the one’s doing the asking. However, when God gives a direct instruction like, “Honor your father and mother” we question, “Why?” He says, because I said so.

So why does this command show up in 10 Commandments?
1. Establishes a foundation for roles in the home
When someone sees an extremely unruly or disobedient child they may make a slighted comment, “Whose the parent here?” That’s because there is a foundation that establishes the roles in the home. What’s more is that it’s just plain common sense. How many of you have ever watched the program Supernanny or Nanny 911. You know exactly what I’m talking about. That’s what the whole show is about. The kids are seemingly out of control, and then the Supernanny comes in and helps mom and dad regain control of their home and set the hierarchy right. The other part of that role structure that isn’t addressed is that the father in that home needs to be honoring God and following Him as He leads his own family through their spiritual journeys. That’s a real humbling thought isn’t it men? That’s not a very easy life inventory to handle sometimes, because of how often we may fall short of that. As men, and as fathers, we have to not only recognize our role in the home as the leader and the head of the household, but as our role as the leader. We have to be following God. If we follow ourselves then we will only result in disaster.
2. Establishes a foundation for respecting authority outside the home
Romans 13:1-2
Let every person be in subjection to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those which exist are established by God. Therefore he who resists authority has opposed the ordinance of God, and they who have opposed will receive condemnation upon themselves.

Those are some strong words. Every authority is established by God. Be submissive. Respect and honor the authorities that are over you. That begins with our parents. How many of you have ever heard a little boy or girl say to you, “You can’t tell me what to do. You’re not my dad.” “Why I oughta…” That child doesn’t not have a proper understanding or respect for authority. Don’t for a minute think that even if you were his or her dad, that they would do what you asked. There has been a role reversal in that home. I’ve had teens approach me with the wonderful news that they punched or spit at their teacher. They are proud of it. There is something not right about that picture. If I cannot be submissive to and respect and honor my parents inside the home, my clearly God-given authority figures, then I will not be submissive to and respect and honor authorities outside the home.

That’s not a blank check for parents to be tyrants to their children. The Bible also says, “Fathers do not provoke your children to anger; but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

Every child can honor their father and mother by obeying and respecting them.
Ephesians 6:1 says, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right”

Every young person can honor their father and mother by accepting and appreciating them.
Let your mom kiss you goodbye at the bus stop.
When she drops you off at school, wave goodbye to her.
Don’t care more about what you think your friends than you care about your mom or your dad.
When your dad wants to try and help you by giving you some pointers on life, listen to him. Don’t get frustrated and shrug him off as if he doesn’t matter.

Proverbs 23:22 says, “Listen to your father who begot you and do not despise your mother when she is old.”

Every adult can honor their father and mother by affirming them and not abandoning them.
1 Timothy 5:8 says If anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith, and is worse than an unbeliever.
It says that he has denied the faith… That’s pretty serious. What is God saying? He’s saying, “I don’t know what faith you are practicing, but it’s not mine. I don’t abandon my own. I don’t abandon my family.”

A part of my family is Pakistani. My father-in-law is Pakistani. I have never met him, but I have met many of our Pakistani relatives, and I’ve learned some things about their culture from talking to our cousin UnJum. Did you know that the oldest son never leaves the house of his father and mother? His paycheck is given directly to his father. His money goes to support his own family as well as his parents. His parents will live with him and his family until they pass on. I told him that I thought that it was incredible that he was willing to do that. He said back to me, “I’m the oldest son and they are my parents. That’s just how it’s done.”

I recognize that many parents goals are to get their kids out of the house, but what an interesting picture of what it means to honor your parents.

I’m reminded of Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane where He prayed to God the Father that He would obey His father, and give His life for you and for me. In Philippians 2 the Bible says that Jesus became obedient to death, specifically death on a cross. Obedient to who? He was obedient to His father.

It’s so easy for us to look at our children and remember things as if it were yesterday. Why do we think that our parents see us any differently than we see our own kids? Follow God’s command and honor your father and your mother.

For some of us it is a privilege to honor our parents. There is no need for instruction in this area. But for others of us it is a heart-wrenching struggle to honor our parents. We think, “God, if only you knew who my parents were, then you would never ask this of me.” But the truth is that He does know and still he asks this of you. Many times obedience to God’s commands means that I have to surrender my desires to him, and replace them with His desires for my life. Surrendering our wills to God requires us to trust Him. Before we can surrender, we must trust. An authentic faith in God is having confidence that God is who He says He is, and that He will do everything that He has said He will do. Our small groups will begin looking at what it means to surrender our lives to Christ this week in our new small group series.
John 10:10 – I have come that you might have life, and that you might have it abundantly.

I have come that you might have a good life. A good life is a life that is lived according to the purposes that we were created for, a life that is following God’s commands and Jesus’ example. It begins with having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Through that relationship, we receive the power of the Holy Spirit in our lives. That power enables us to follow Him, and to take the next step on our Spiritual journey.

Maybe your next visit to the nursing home will be different. Maybe the next time your mom asks you to take out the trash, you will do it. Maybe you’ll even do it before you’re asked. I don’t know what this looks like in each of your lives, but I do know that we are commanded to honor our fathers and mothers, and that God says it’s important that we do that.

My brother's favorite word

2007-03-02T19:13:00.000-08:00

My brother, Josh, has a favorite word. I've never seen that topic in a 'get to know you' exercise before. Not many people have a favorite word. Favorites are a part of life. In fact, one of the first questions a stranger might ask another stranger in an attempt to break the ice is, "What's your favorite __________?" Most of us would fill in the blank with something like:
color
music style
movie
place to go on vacation
song
car model
seat cover (leather or cloth - vinyl's pretty much out for everybody)
stroller brand
stroller style
actor or actress
cloud formation
paint finish
t.v. size
bed size
golf club to use 50 feet from the green
blog site
Bible verse
place to relax
t.v. series
item in this list
baby name for a boy (or a girl if you have one of those)
career path
Downhill ski resort
This list could probably go on for quite a long time before anyone would think to add 'word' to the list. Ironically, most of us would probably have a hard time answering that question if it ever was asked. That's not true of my brother though. He does have a favorite word. In fact, his favorite word has been his favorite word for close to 10 years now. Favorite things are usually good ice breakers. They start conversations. But be warned, favorite thing conversations can lead to awkward silences. It's a risky question to ask. What if you don't like the other persons favorite. How are you supposed to respond? What if their favorite thing turns your stomach? Now you have a moral decision to make. Do you lie or fluff through the conversation? Do you respond honestly? Maybe the fact that you were willing to ask the question in the first place, and take the risk means that you are worth getting to know even if you don't like their favorite word. Do you have a favorite word?

Dan doesn't have hair anymore

2007-02-11T17:45:00.000-08:00

My brother, Dan, doesn't have much hair anymore. It's kind of sad, but he's resigned to live with it. He tried some transplants a while back, but they were too curly. Wigs weren't working out either. They were a little too itchy. He thought that he would be better off using a razor. The first winter was tough, but he just wore a hat. He was okay after that.

Deep Thoughts (deep in relation to a kiddie pool):

If a woman has male pattern baldness, is it considered male pattern baldness or just slightly off normal?

Would reverse male pattern baldness be considered baldness or just a really close haircut?

When bald people go to Heaven, do they have hair? If they have hair, but really liked being bald, will they be able to perfectly shave? Will there be razors in Heaven? That would be a tough situation.

If Lex Luthor wasn't bald would he be so mean to Superman?